As those of you who have followed my posts in the past know, I am a card-carrying "Boomer" who has been crossdressing since my early teens, I reside in that purgatory ("Never Never Land"?) known as "DADT" along with my wife of many years, and I am now comfortable enough with my gender orientation that I have gone out in public in "Leslie" mode with no issues whatsoever for over 10 years now (time and opportunity permitting). "Aye, but there's the rub", as Shakespeare's Hamlet would have put it.

I am fortunate enough that I am still in overall excellent health given my age. No aches, no pains, no back problems, no chronic conditions of any kind, and I take only minimal medications of the type usually associated with my age group. Recent blood work indicates that there are also no signs of impending diabetes, prostate problems or gastrointestinal issues, and my cholesterol numbers suggest that I can still continue eating cheeseburgers from time to time without guilt or remorse. But...and this is a big "But"...I have noticed a substantial spike in my blood pressure over the last few months despite no changes in my lifestyle or daily routine. My doctor is currently following up on this and has upped my blood pressure medication in the interim to see if this will make any difference, but she, too is puzzled by this sudden change as there are no other obvious outward signs as to why this is happening. But I do have a clue, and maybe others here can relate to this as well...

My wife and I have had to wrestle with very high, unexpected dental bills that she has incurred over the past year...a perfect storm of several major events all happening within months of each other (two root canals, two crowns, a dental implant, periodontal work, multiple X-rays, routine cleaning, and a couple of cavities etc.)...all of this after years of just routine dental appointments with presumably no major issues on the horizon. In other words, we were totally blindsided by this turn of events, and not having the kinds of employer sponsored benefits that sometimes follow other retirees into their retirement years, all of this has been on our own dime, putting a major dent into our budget last year. I mention all of this T.M.I simply because my wife started to connect the dots here and suggested that perhaps the stress we were both facing over this unexpected financial hit might be the reason for this recent spike in my blood pressure. Personally, I don't think so as I am usually pretty sanguine and level-headed about such things, and take most of life's setbacks in stride...particularly those that I have no control over. But, it did get me to thinking...

Yes, there is something that has stressed me out of late - big time: lack of opportunity to crossdress to the degree that I would like, and especially my limited ability to go out in public in "Leslie" mode over the past year. There, I said it!

This situation has been brewing for some time now...5 years to be exact, and ever since my wife retired, causing us to be at home together pretty much 24/7 now. Yes, I do have some outside activities and so does she, but hers take her out of the house for maybe half a day at a time - tops, and certainly not enough time for me to get all dolled up (and maybe ready to go out) to the extent that I would like. It wasn't so bad in the early years of my wife's retirement...she'd go out of town for a few days at a time to visit friends or family members or maybe stay overnight at my son's or daughter's houses to babysit the grandkids, but all of that has declined sharply over the last couple of years. And yes, my wife does have several other health issues which have probably contributed to this slowing down of hers of late.

So here I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Much as I sympathize with the challenges my wife is facing as the years take their toll, I'm not at that point (yet?), and part of me resents the fact that the ability for me to enjoy MY life on My terms (read: crossdressing more liberally) is being compromised not only by HER medical conditions but also her intransigence on this whole DADT thing. If this makes my sound like a whiner and/or a self-centred A-hole, I apologize in advance, but just nodding and smiling over this predicament I find myself in and going with the flow just isn't cutting it for me anymore - and maybe my body is telling me the same thing on a subconscious level in terms of my rising blood pressure. Sure, the "easy" answer would simply be to no longer accept this DADT straightjacket, but doing so would give rise to a whole host of other issues, none of which would be particularly conducive to lowering my stress level or the possibly related rise in blood pressure either.

Can any of my fellow "Boomers" out there relate to any of this? Or else serve as a cautionary tale for others, perhaps?