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Thread: Mother In Law

  1. #1
    Junior Member raven_crossdresser's Avatar
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    Mother In Law

    So my wife accidently send a picture of us with me dolled up to her mom. Do any of you have any similar experiences or advice.

  2. #2
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Well, for one thing - there is strength in numbers here. If this picture depicted both you and your wife as you state, then whatever judgemental disgust you MIL might conceivably direct against you over your crossdressing, her daughter (your wife) will be seen as a willing accomplice and/or enabler in this endeavour. "Love me, love my dog" (or the reverse), as the saying goes. Sounds as if MIL will have to do quite a bit of soul-searching before (if?) she goes all apesh*t on both your sorry @sses because of this faux pas by your wife.

  3. #3
    -1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    I'm not married. So no experience, no advice.. but an out-of-school comment .

    It sounds as though your wife is supportive and participatory . From our point of view, the holy grail .

    The faith your mother-in-law has in her daughter's capability to lead her own life will probably be very influential.

    - Lydianne.

    [EDIT] Dammit! Leslie beat me to it . But she's married, and therefore speaks with more authority . [/EDIT]

  4. #4
    Member KatrinaK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leslie Langford View Post
    Well, for one thing - there is strength in numbers here. If this picture depicted both you and your wife as you state, then whatever judgemental disgust you MIL might conceivably direct against you over your crossdressing, her daughter (your wife) will be seen as a willing accomplice and/or enabler in this endeavour. "Love me, love my dog" (or the reverse), as the saying goes. Sounds as if MIL will have to do quite a bit of soul-searching before (if?) she goes all apesh*t on both your sorry @sses because of this faux pas by your wife.
    Leslie, why jump to “judgmental disgust” when the OP said nothing of the ilk? It’s a faux pas, yes, but the women in our lives need support networks to cope and it’s unreasonable to expect them to bottle up all of the emotions that come along with being married to a cross dresser or trans person and keep everything a secret. It nearly broke my wife emotionally and retrospectively the only reason our marriage has lasted to this point is because I accepted that we’re going through this together and she needs support and people to talk to about it.

    My mother in law has been extremely supportive, if that helps Raven. Be cautiously optimistic that she’s as open minded as her daughter.
    Last edited by KatrinaK; 01-12-2019 at 10:22 PM.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    No similar experience but maybe a bit of advice. Sounds like your wife is a friendly ally. Just continue to be good to her. Support her in however she wants to handle the picture. Not making a big deal out of it would be my suggestion but everyone handles things differently. I suggest letting her take the lead on this one and back her up in her decision.
    Last edited by char GG; 01-13-2019 at 07:52 AM.

  6. #6
    Member Ronnie38's Avatar
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    Definatly go wjith her judgement on this one. She knows her mom better than any one so she knows best how to handle the situation. And like Katrina said, its her secret too. Back her up and trust her judgement. You may even find a new ally.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Just go with the flow, see which way any conversation goes and use a lame excuse at the end if necessary.

    A Halloween trick? :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Go back and read Char GG post #5
    Great advice !
    So ditto from me
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  9. #9
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    I read a number of your posts. You wife is accepting and a willing participant. Your wife is the person who sent the picture. Nothing much you can do. The cat's out of the bag so to speak. I'd love to be the fly on the wall the next time your wife and her mother have coffee together. If your wife does not have issues with your desires to wear women's clothing, AND, you're a good husband to her daughter, then I suspect it will be a non issue. Perhaps, your wife will attribute the pictures to a Halloween adventure. Let us know how it was handled.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    My advice is that there is literally nothing you can do about this. This is now between your wife and her mother to resolve. Sounds like your wife is supportive or at least fairly tolerant if she’s sending pictures around, so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. It’s not like your MIL is suddenly going to convince your wife that you’re a monster.

  11. #11
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    ‘‘Tis isn’t a problem unless you make it one. If your wife sends pictures of you, it suggests she’s comfortable with doing so. That’s a good thing.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  12. #12
    Senior Member Hell on Heels's Avatar
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    Hell-o Raven,
    Yepp, nothing really to do but see how your MIL responds to seeing the pic.
    Except maybe actually confront her about it before the gossiping starts and everyone in the family knows your secret.
    At least have your wife do a little damage control before things go too far.
    Much Love,
    Kristyn
    I smile because you are my friend, and
    I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!

  13. #13
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    "Accidentally", eh?

  14. #14
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    If she says nothing? U say nothing. If she comments chuckle and say, "The folks at the Halloween party thot we were a cute couple!"

    Of course, your SO will have to be onboard with ANY action u take!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 01-13-2019 at 08:46 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    If someone accidentally sent a picture of me to my ex's mother the shock would probably kill her.
    Hmmm... interesting....

    Er... I'll be back in an hour, talk among yourselves... If anyone asks - I was never here...

  16. #16
    Member Ameli's Avatar
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    Hi Raven,

    I don’t have anything to add that hasn’t already been said. Please do update us though. I’d love to hear how this works out.

  17. #17
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    it's only an issues if someone makes it an issue (don't be the someone).
    So next time your at the in-laws, relax, maybe have a beer, maybe smile a bit more at your MIL - like in "I know, you know, I know...…"
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  18. #18
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    My mother-in-law doesn't know about my dressing. So, I thought about what I would do and I think I would just ignore it.

    She does fly in to visit twice a year and stays for almost a month each time so she has had plenty of opportunity to snoop around while we are at work. Maybe she already knows...

  19. #19
    Reality Check
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    Not much you can do at this point. Wait and see if your mother in law brings it up. It could have been from a Halloween party. That's the best excuse I can come up with.

    I'm assuming this accident came about because the picture was on your wife's phone. Combining a telephone with a camera is pretty convenient most of the time but it does bring with it the danger of sending (or showing) pictures by mistake. It's too late for you now, but I suggest not having pictures on a phone that you don't want seen by others. Buy a cheap digital camera for that sort of stuff and download the pictures to a secure drive on a computer.
    Krisi

  20. #20
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    My wife sent a text and a picture to my MIL to tell her. Since then my MIL has been one of my biggest supporters

  21. #21
    Junior Member raven_crossdresser's Avatar
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    So far so good. Saw my MIL a couple of time this weekend and it was like nothing happened. My wife went into damage control as soon as she sent it but we will see. My wife did make a comment about a lipstick mot being her color when she was around and my wife started she made a gesture to her kinda asking if it was mine. Who knows. Thanks for all the advice and words ladies. Put my mind at ease.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    That is awesome Asew.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Read only Allison Chaynes's Avatar
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    Life is too short to be boring.

  23. #23
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    When I was married to my second wife I was blessed by a great MIL. Whenever we would visit I would help her with the milking and feeding ( just the way I was brought up. I would also help with kitchen duties and laundry, My wife never helped) I never under-dressed around her as she is a very observant lady and would have noticed.

    When I left my wife she told her entire family I was a bi crossdresser. It was several years before my current wife and I were invited to my daughters high school graduation. We went up for the graduation annd decided to decline staying at MIL's house since ex was there. When we went for dinner MIL asked me to help her outside and I figured Oohh boy, here it comes. We were doing the milking and she told me what the ex had told her and if it were true. I told her yes and she asked why. We talked for about an hour and when we were headed back inside she made my day.... she said my wife and I were always welcome in her home.

    A bit later, my ex started an argument and MIL told her if all she wanted to do was fight she could leave as she just showed up and we were invited.

    I still keep in touch with that wonderful lady.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by raven_crossdresser View Post
    So my wife accidently send a picture of us with me dolled up to her mom.
    Accident, huh? Freud might have disagreed.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  25. #25
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
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    Raven...your wife sounds wonderful and this mistake could be nothing. I'm sure that her mom called her by now and the two of them may have discussed it. Or, your mother in law just accepted the picture and moved on...I can only imagine what your wife is going thru in her head, especially if her mom doesn't comment

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