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Thread: Told my mother...

  1. #1
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Told my mother...

    Apparently, she found some clothes I left while I was house sitting there a month or so ago. Today, she asked me about them, so I told her.

    Despite my mixed feelings, I think it’s better this way. One less thing to hide, and I have enough support from friends, if needed.

    The explanation of my dressing seemed to satisfy her and her follow up questions weren’t that bad (do I know other people who do it, that sort of thing), but I’m bracing for the big argument against my dressing, which is probably being formulated in her mind as I’m typing this.

    Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother; it’s just that she’s not the most supportive person in the world and her constant worrying about everything has tended to put a damper on everything I’ve loved. Well, not this. I held it back too long. I love dressing and no one’s taking it away from me.

    I guess this’ll be an interesting year...
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  2. #2
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    Deep breaths, work the good juju for clarity, and hold on tight! You're life is already yours, she'll just have to accept that.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Hell on Heels's Avatar
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    Hell-o Patience,
    I guess that “one less thing” thing hasn’t worked it’s way out just yet.
    Is it that our moms can’t help worrying about their kids kind of thing? Or is it
    that she’d be worried about how your dressing might reflect on her?
    Either way...it is your life. I hope it works out for the best.
    Much Love,
    Kristyn
    Last edited by Hell on Heels; 01-14-2019 at 09:34 PM.
    I smile because you are my friend, and
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  4. #4
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Good for you.

    From the little you've said I wouldn't worry about it. She is not going to want to push you away and lose you.

    It makes life easier when you don't have to hide. I'm not saying everyone needs to know your business just that you can be yourself.

  5. #5
    The avvy pic isn't me
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    Major kudos to you for not lying. Many would have gone into a 'I had a lady friend here with me' lie.
    Continue with the moral high ground and be prepared to stay honest and unwilling to respond negatively if she says something unkind.
    Even good people can say something that might feel hurtful when they don't understand something like this.

    Best wishes.
    Cass

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Patience, From what you have said I think you will weather this storm. It’s Mom and she loves you and you know the way she is. Take any new follow up questions in stride. Good luck!
    Crissy

  7. #7
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Hell-o Kristyn
    Quote Originally Posted by Hell on Heels View Post
    Is it that our moms can’t help worrying about their kids kind of thing? Or is it
    that she’d be worried about how your dressing might reflect on her?
    Yes.

    Macey, I'm chanting as we speak.

    Thank you all for your replies.

    Xox,

    P
    Last edited by Patience; 01-14-2019 at 11:47 PM. Reason: So I could type here.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  8. #8
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    Well the first hurdle is out of the way so to speak . It can only get easier

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Patience, all you can do is practice some of your namesake for a while.

    Just have a little patience. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    I can imagine some of what my mother would have said had I come out to her. She was ashamed and embarassee enough when I left my practice wife, so wrapped up in her gossamer thin 'reputation'. But then I cut my entire family out of my life close to 12 years ago so it's a moot point.
    It would have been hilarious to come out to her though since we caught my father CDing when I was young. My mother had forgotten her purse when we were on our way to the train station for a cinema trip, she opened the front door in time to catch my father coming down the stairs dressed. Awkward.
    So, Patience, you've taken a great step forward. Here's hoping your mother becomes increasingly accepting rather than judgemental. Some parents are bad at not accepting their kid's decisions. And plenty worry about said decisions. Sorry to hear that she's not supportive generally, boy, can I relate.
    However, good for you in asserting your right to the happiness dressing brings you. Stick to them guns, girl. 👍

  11. #11
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    My mother was totally understanding and told me to buy good quality clothes and makeup. Good advice! She loved nice things herself and I still wear one of her necklaces. Xxx

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Tahoegurl's Avatar
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    The nice thing is that it is in the open and it is a good place to start from. Be true to yourself. Cheers.
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by abbiedrake View Post
    It would have been hilarious to come out to her though since we caught my father CDing when I was young. My mother had forgotten her purse when we were on our way to the train station for a cinema trip, she opened the front door in time to catch my father coming down the stairs dressed. Awkward.
    I don't want to pry...but did you ever talk to him about CDing?
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  14. #14
    Member Ronnie38's Avatar
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    When I finally sat down and talked with my mom it helped me understand more about me and dressing. I took her out for coffee and just asked a bunch of questions. I had apparently repressed a lot from my childhood. If you are comfortable doing so, take her out and ask questions. You'd be surprised what you can learn.

  15. #15
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Thank you, Ronnie.

    What kind of questions did you ask?
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

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