What were you like as a teenage crossdresser?

[Tracii G]

I crossdressed once at 15 but it was at the request or two girls I played with in the neighborhood.
All the kids hung out at that families house because the had a huge in ground pool.
I had really long hair so they were all the time braiding my hair as well.
The notion to dress me up as a girl was their idea but I liked being around them so I let them do it.
At that time I had no clue what it meant or what I was doing,I was just a kid.

Trying to get into the deep reasons of why we do what we do is a fruitless venture.
I think you are reading too much into all this

[beckypanties]

Add me to the painfully shy column. I don't think it had any influence on my dressing, then or now. Well... it might have something to do with me remaining firmly in the closet. Maybe I would have had an easier time revealing my secret self if I was more outgoing?

[cdinmd206]

I was definitely not shy. People who I went to grade school and high school with, who I have not seen in years are constantly telling me they remember me as either chasing after the girls or girls chasing after me. I don't quite remember it that way, but I do remember I was more interested in what kind of panties and bra they were wearing then having sex. I was so envious they could wear nice satin lingerie I had to be content to wear my tighty whities.

[sometimes_miss]

First; many people will identify themselves as shy; But boys and men typically won't to another man. If a man asks another man if he's shy, or if he's an introvert TO HIS FACE you will get a 'NO'. Many girls will do the same thing. Being shy isn't exactly considered a positive attribute. So admitting to being shy, ONLINE on a forum, means squat.

I was wondering if there is a typical crossdressing path.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd we have another on the search for the one, true cause of crossdressing.

There's no 'path'.

There's no single cause.

There's no single feeling that makes us want to do it. Some sexual, some, not.

You're 'pattern' is YOUR pattern. It is not everyone else's. And just because you find a million others who had a similar 'path', doesn't explain the tens of millions who didn't.

If you're trying to find ways to figure yourself out, hoping that there are lots of others who experienced it the same way you did isn't going to help; you're still going to have to chart your own life's past. Each of us is an individual. There are going to be differences.

Seeking quality information from web netizens will get you all sorts of answers, some you like, some you won't. In the end, it all comes down to what you feel, and what you believe.

Search deep into your own mind, grasshopper, and you will find your own truth.

[April Rose]

As a teenager I was obsessed, scared, frustrated, enthralled and in denial.

[Tracii G]

On the shy thing I think a lot of people say that to fit in with the crowd if others say they are shy.
Shyness has never been a problem for me I can talk to anyone.

[GeorgeA]

Your experiences are similar to mine, though not exact. I could draw on statements from several posters as my own. We are all similar yet different, We are all individuals.

[RebeccaV]

This is a super interesting thread. Tons of similarities across the board.

[Becky Blue]

Interesting thread, i am going to buck the trend slightly. As a younger teen I was probably slightly reserved but became much more outgoing from about 15. I believe a major part of my growing confidence came from my ability to be comfortable with the girls, many of my peers were terrified of talking to girls lol. Only years later do i now understand why I was so comfortable with the girls.

[penny lace]

In my teens I was always the outsider I was not shy but was always angry (way to many issues to go into here) I cross dressed extensively, even going fully dressed to school including dress under my school clothes one winter. I was caught several times by my parents or relatives stealing or trying to steal girls things but nothing stopped me. I did have girl friends and I don't think dressing was an alternative for me it was more of an escape.

[Katie Russell]

I am glad that so many of you found the thread interesting. Whilst I appreciate that the answers do not prove anything in particular, i.e. that shy boys will be crossdressers, it does show that there are a lot of similarities in our early years. I also appreciate that not everyone said that they were shy but I'd never expect 100% agreement. If we plotted responses on a gaussian curve I'd guess we'd find a consensus around the middle with various outliers. Again I appreciate that this is not a scientific experiment and people may not be totally truthful but I believe the anonymity of an online forum allows us to be more truthful than a face to face situation. I also do not understand why people would 'lie to fit in with the crowd' if 'being shy isn't a positive attribute'.

Personally I don't see a problem in exploring why we want to crossdress 'Aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd we have another on the search for the one, true cause of crossdressing'. Whilst I agree that we are all unique there are still certain things that we all have in common and for a certain type of crossdresser i believe tat there is a common theme as to how it progresses. It maybe at different speeds, ages and final outcomes but there is a commonality.

I have spoken to loads of crossdressers with a similar story to mine, too similar to be accidental. We were of a similar age when it started, we did use it for sexual gratification in our teens, we did stop or at least it was drastically reduced when we left our teens and started dating girls, only for it to return in middle age at which point for many it was no longer sexual to the same extent. Does that sound familiar to many? And if I find a million who do follow the same path doesn't mean I have to find a reason why 10 million don't. They will have their own reasons and maybe they will have something in common with others who don't follow my path.

At least if I have some understanding then I can prepare and at least speak to my wife with some sort of answers. Just shrugging my shoulder and saying I don't doesn't really help which is why I'm trying to discover my 'truth'. And I appreciate that I am forecasting the future but at least I know where I may end up if I follow the path to the nth degree. It seems to be a well trodden path and many of us stop at different points. If we sit on a trans spectrum then at least we can judge ourselves against others to give us some comfort and our wives.

I have searched the web for answers and sometimes what I have read is uncomfortable but it doesn't stop it being relevant to me. I was interested that one member posted about AGP. I have read about this and I know that it is controversial but a lot rings true in my journey. Maybe I am using cognitive bias in looking for similarities as opposed to difference but when the results are uncomfortable I cannot understand why I would want to accept the theory. I try to challenge any theories and if it helps me to better understand myself then I think it is valid that I explore why I crossdress.

Katie x

[Laura28]

I was shy also but not really shy. I had many friends. But meeting new people was tough. I as lucky my mother worked 2 days a week and I would dress while she was out. I remember at about 16 or 17 I got the nerve up to go to an adult bookstore all the TVTS book I was in heaven. This was way way before internet. Was nice to know I wasn’t a freak and others did it also.

[CrossKimmy]

I was far from shy. I had lots of friends and had no problem meeting other people. I just harbored this big secret.

My problem was reconciling this part of me with my carnal sexual urges during these hormonal years.

[Jennifer in CO]

On the shy thing...not on your life. My Mom once said that I never met a stranger that wasn't a friend in 30 seconds.

The "rest of the story"...

I was a "pink fog" case. Just imagine a DADT Mom and a blank wall Dad. Not that Dad was distant, just since I was sick so much we really didn't have a relationship. Being sick meant no sports of ANY kind and limited activity. Hence my Sister became the son my Dad wanted. She did the basketball, baseball, etc etc for him. I never wore skirts/dresses around him, but when my Sister moved out, I got her room...and the left overs in the closet...which I wore all the time. Like by the time I was 17 I had a pantie drawer. Not an underwear drawer, a pantie drawer.
Lots of stories I could tell...

[t-girlxsophie]

I was a typical kid played soccer,rode my bike,play fought and got dirty,Yes I was shy around girls and didn't have a serious gf in my teens.every chance i got i was dressing up in my mum's clothes,or at my grans house wearing my young aunties clothes.Where would a gf fit in with all that.
My downfall was my inability to keep my activities a secret my mum caught me a few times.

Sophie

[marlacd]

Add me to the shy list.

I wish I could say that I went through high school blending into the background. That wasn't the case. A few looked at me as a likely person to beat up. The first few did, because I wouldn't defend myself. I'd finally had enough of it, and made one very sorry he'd done that. Then, they let me be. Why they did, I never knew. I hardly said anything to anyone.

I wanted to dress at any given opportunity. I did, before high school, so I used that as a non-dating alternative. Motorcycles became my other outlet. Both were solo pursuits.

[nancy123cd]

It was different for me. I was a real guys guys...played sports dated girls was popular...but couldn't wait to be home alone and get all girly in moms things!!!

[Tracy Irving]

I was not shy.
Lots of friends.
Worked family business.
Played some sports.
Had a few girlfriends.
...and panties when I could.

[Stephanie47]

Katie, I realize you're trying to find answers to a question your wife may ask. It's the big "Why?" I've read the answers. I don't know if you can arrive at a consensus of opinion. Yes, there are similarities which can be pointed out. Time when most seem to have been attracted to experimenting with women's clothing. The fear and angst surrounding wearing women's clothing. Dealing with non-conformity.

When I read the endless threads of the results or questions arising during "The Talk," there is a common element from the woman's perspective. Are you gay? Do you want to transition? It becomes a can of worms because the cross dressing man also has to deal with a wife's feelings brought on by social norms and expectations.

I've stated many times I told my wife that I do not know why I need to wear women's clothing. I may be able to tell her how I feel. It calms me. My experience with telling a woman I am exploring my feminine side really gets a lot of blow back. If a male feels there was some gender misalignment that is a totally different story. Most people with any knowledge seem to accept the premise this can happen. It's natural for a woman to ask her husband all those upsetting questions. I can answer all of the questions. I can tell my wife how I feel when en femme. I still cannot point a finger at a reason.

If you point to this thread as a basis of determining some sort of commonality you're running into a problem. Any woman who may have taken a basic logic course or statistical analysis will immediately tell you your survey is flawed. Why? Where is the control group? Where are the answers from men who do not cross dress? Teenage shyness with girls always seemed to be a natural affliction. Social awkwardness is not a trait limited to cross dressing boys. Yes, you may be able to show a commonality within the group, but, it still does not answer the "Why" question.

I told my wife I do not know why I need to wear women's clothing. That is the plain simple answer to a simple truth. Remember there are always two people in a marital relationship. Perhaps you should also be prepared to confront her negativity to you wearing women's clothing.

[Shawn Michelle]

My teenage years were filled with confusion, and forced counseling.

First, I wasn’t shy, had plenty of friends, and did all the “guy” things.

Let me go back a few years. For starters, I’m an only child, so no sister to steal clothes from. I can trace my dressing up to visiting my grandmother, who at the time lived an hour away (this was the mid-70s, I was about 5). She had a pair of black leather boots and black leather gloves. At the time, I didn’t know why I liked them, but I would run around her house wearing them. No one seemed to care about it at this point.

As I got older, I became enamored by women who smoked (all the women I knew at the time smoked). I would go through my mom’s magazines and tear out all the Virginia Slims ads with women wearing boots (I was also taking note of what they were wearing). I also started wearing my mother’s boots and some of her dresses.

Around my pre-teens, we moved my grandmother to a house in our neighborhood. This gave me more freedom to dress up with rarely-worn clothes of my mothers that I sneaked over from my house. I also got brave and bought my own pair of boots from a shoe store in the mall. This is also when I started smoking (because all the sexy and elegant women I saw in ads smoked). My grandmother knew what I was doing, but she let me do what I wanted. I did this for about 3 years.

Two things happened that screwed the whole thing up. One day in the pre-teen years, my parents came home when I wasn’t expecting them and caught me wearing my mom’s boots and underwear. The second they saw me I bolted into the downstairs bathroom and stayed locked in there for at least an hour. After I came out and got dressed, we had a long talk about how this wasn’t normal, but it didn’t go beyond that. Then when I was 15 (and going to an all-boys school), my mom found my stash at my grandmother’s house. After that, my parents sent me to therapy for about a year (obviously it didn’t work). My dressing at that point was done. I wouldn’t dabble in it again until I was in college.

I don’t blame my parents for sending me to therapy because I know it freaked them out. Toward the end of the therapy, I convinced the therapist I was “cured”. But the whole time I was going, I could never figure out why something that felt normal and natural to me was so wrong. According to the therapist, “it’s not right for a teenage boy to do this, so stop.”

Now, thanks in large part to the internet (where were you 40 years ago!), I’m comfortable dressing and accept it as as part of my life. It’s enjoyable and missed when away from it for any period of time. I still have much to learn and fears to get over. I’ll probably ask some of you to help me with those fears when the time comes.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

[lingerieLiz]

I was not shy, but did enjoy my fem side. With 2 sisters that encouraged my CDing and being passable I enjoyed it.

[annecwesley]

My father was mentally ill, so I tried to keep quiet and to myself. I was bullied by the other boys. Some of my best friends were girls - I wish now I had confided in them that I wanted to dress like them and be "one of the girls". I was ashamed of my crossdressing and terrified about getting caught or of some adult even suspecting. I was almost paranoid about it which made acquiring clothes very difficult.

At the same time I had a nice slender figure with unusually wide hips for a boy, so the clothes I had fit me well. It was the 70's and I had long curly hair. I could have passed easily, but never tried back then.

[wendy]

I was half shy yet half outgoing, depending on who I was with. People I was comfortable with, very outgoing, but with people I wasn't familiar with, more on the shy side.

As a teen, I preferred quiet times at home, while some friends preferred to party non stop.

[Jaymees22]

Put me in the shy column. I was an only child, we moved a lot and I usually would just have one or two good friends. In my HS year book they said I was quiet in a crowd. Someone also told me for such a quiet person I could make a lot of people laugh. I only tried dressing as a teenager a couple of times and I had graduated by then.

[Desiree2bababe]

No, I can't say I dressed because of the lack of a girlfriend even though I was a bit shy. I started dressing for the mere feel of sister's lovely lingerie and soft sweaters. Once it became known I was a crossdresser, I said the heck with it and went out often to clubs as a girl. It was then that I learned I truly loved the attention men gave to me while dressed. Basically, it was just fun being a girl.