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Thread: My Five Levels of Being Out

  1. #1
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    My Five Levels of Being Out

    When I first started going out en femme (some time ago now) I developed 5 levels of being out to gauge my progress. At first it was "Have I done this ever" but then after having been out many times it turned into "Where have I been out, and at what level." The levels are as follows. It's understood that these things are all done fully en femme: dress or skirt, breast forms, wig, and full makeup.

    1. Going for a drive, but not getting out of the car.
    2. Getting out of the car without being seen by anyone.
    3. Going through a drive-up fast-food place.
    4. Getting out of the car and talking with other people.
    5. Four plus using the ladies room.

    I like to break 5 into three sub-levels, a-single use facility, b-multi-user facility but nobody else there, c-multi-use facility with other women present.

    I've been level 5 in at least 10 different states and many different cities. About 75% 5c.

    Do any of you have such a list? And if so, what's your progress?

  2. #2
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    And I'm still at the zero level before your number one.... Lol just my situation and I see no changes happening soon.
    I think we all are at many different levels on here and that's what keeps the CDs like myself enjoying this site as I can live vicariously thru those who can go to the next level or levels.

  3. #3
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    I am also stuck at # 1 with a catch; I only go out dressed in my car to go get the Mail
    at the bottom of my driveway. I once was dressed in a skirt and top, with a heavy coat
    to do some miner snow plowing at my house and a neighbors house. I was only out for
    about 20 minuets. It was exciting and scary for me to go that far.
    Rader

  4. #4
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
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    I've done everything except #3 ...
    and now i've progressed to group settings and meet ups, and attending my 2nd function on February 7th at a bar/club

  5. #5
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    Cynthia, that's a great idea of listing progression in terms of "outness". (Is outness a word?)
    As a miad rather than a fully en-femme CDer, here is my personal take on progress.
    (Slightly different approach as my list focuses more on what i wear rather than what i do.)
    Each step is interacting with public as usual in shops, cafes etc.
    1. Going out underdressed.
    2. Going out in something fem, but not really obviously so. (eg: womens skinny jeans)
    3. Going out in something fem, but more noticeably so. (eg: womens leggings)
    4. Going out in all fem clothes. No male attire, but still less obviously fem garments, as above.
    5. Going out in all fem clothes and wearing something blatantly fem. (eg: skirt and tights)
    Plus:
    6. Being "out" to my relatives.

    I have reached step 3 whilst away, step 2 closer to home.
    Step 4 is on the horizon now, i think.
    Step 5 is a real big step for me. Maybe one day.
    Step 6 simply ain't gonna happen, ever! That chasm is simply too wide to bridge....
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Cynthia,
    Something for a lot of us to aspire to.
    Some more..
    6. Window Shopping in a mall during the day. Easier than at night by the way.
    7. Checking out the lingerie section.
    8. Being fitted for a bra. Check the layout first and speak to an SA is a good move here.
    9. Getting your hair permed.
    10. Swimming at the beach.
    11. Playing a sport, such as Tennis, Hockey, Netball etc.

    I am somewhere past No. 11 having achieved all those, but I thought I would let others have a go, this could get a high count.

    12. Flying pretty, when I get my passport changed.
    13. Getting my ears pierced....Well, one day.
    14. Being out to my relatives, Like Krea, it 'ain't gonn'a happen.
    Last edited by Beverley Sims; 01-31-2019 at 12:12 PM.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  7. #7
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    Cynthia,
    When I separated and moved to my new home town , I decided it was now my chance to be Teresa , nothing was going to be off limits . Setting up a new home meant so many jobs for me sort out . My first time out I had , estate agents to see , supermarket shopping , DIY projects , car spares to buy and registering at my new GPs' surgery . It's almost I year now and it's proving far easier than I thought , I'm still crossing off items and outings, the highlight so far has going to see a pantomime with my daughter and granddaughter , that was sheer pleasure to see her enjoy the show and at the end jump on my knee and give me a big hug , that was in broad daylight with a very mixed audience and age group .

    Still on my bucket list is take my dog on a holiday to the coast , that will be the first time I've been away as Teresa , I also need to get my art group up and running .


    To answer other replies , " Never say Never !! " many of the obstacles are in our minds , just keep believeing in yourself and taking the next step , when you look back you won't believe how far you've come !
    Last edited by Teresa; 01-31-2019 at 12:24 PM.

  8. #8
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Your steps make sense, Cynthia. However, I consider 2 and 3 like underdressing!

    And, I guess I have different objectives/experiences? My list includes:

    Walking thru a vanilla casino and shopping areas dressed to the 9's or in skimpy outfits.

    Dressing fem in foreign countries.

    Dressed with vanillas 1/3rd my age at masked, costume events!
    Really getting into that last one now!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member
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    Well on the initial list, a 5. On the extended list, I have: shopped en femme including trying on clothes, been fitted for a bra, came out to my two best friends, used the ladie's, multi-user, with women present...

    I'd love to go out today as I am dressed, but it's just too damned cold and I don't have warm boots.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Nope. I go where I need/want to go. Period.

  11. #11
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    My levels were simply
    1. Going out of the house.
    2. Going in public in daylight.
    3. Using the Ladies room. My wife asked why and I said, because I have to go AND look at me! I would rather incur the wrath of an offended female than the ire of a testosterone fueled homophobic. I won't have to run in my heels when dealing with a woman.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    I have 2 levels of going out now there use to be more but have since narrowed it down.

    1. Did I get everything done.
    2. Dang I need more time.
    This works no matter how I dress.

  13. #13
    Carpe Diem Jackiefl's Avatar
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    I'm like aunt Kelly go wherever I want and need period.

  14. #14
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I have done 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and also been to the movies, restaurants and vanilla bars. The bars were a bit scary but no problem and I did get asked to dance by what I assume was a straight guy who didn't know my true gender. I declined. I would like a bra fitting. and a makeover at a department store.
    It is all fun and generally there is no problem and people don't care.
    Just out having fun
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  15. #15
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    1. Driving dressed
    2. Stopping for gas or at a convenience store
    3. Walking around town
    4. Sitting in a bar
    5. Singing Karaoke
    Inside my heart is breaking
    My make-up may be flaking
    But my smile still stays on

  16. #16
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    I have not used a ladies room when out. so #5.... not me, probably wont go there any time soon. I look like a man even in full makeup, wig and all the rest and I really don't want to make others uncomfortable.

    I don't really have a benchmark list or goals for going out. I go out when it makes sense to me and I want to. I do however have a list of things I still want to buy and things I want to do. But its not really a benchmark thing. Its the hunt. Right now its the hunt for the perfect wig.

  17. #17
    Go Team Venture! Beth785's Avatar
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    From the original list, all the way through to number 5. From some of the things others have added, I have gotten my ears pierced as Beth. Unfortunately, they have grown closed and I’d like to do them again soon. I’ve been to the movies. I’ve also gone to auto parts stores/home improvement stores and done auto repair and home repair dressed. Considering getting a tattoo and would like to do that dressed as well. Just have to decide on the design and location to place it.
    The views expressed in this post are not necessarily the views expressed in this post.

    Twitter @beth785cd

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I 've got 1 and 2 covered. This time of year taking my wife to the store and Dr. appointments under dressed with breast forms. I have no need to go beyond that
    Angie

  19. #19
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    Oh the list. Got to love a list.

    In my teens lots of people knew I dressed. I turned up to family gatherings dressed. However after I joined the navy left home, got married and had kids, I chose to respect my wife's feelings and stopped going out in public. I do still walk the moors dressed every once in a while. But you would hardly know as male and female attire for such an activity is pretty interchangeable.
    Last edited by Jane G; 01-31-2019 at 06:54 PM.

  20. #20
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    Other than being out to family, I've done just about everything that's been mentioned, including Karaoke and a bra fitting. Nothing is really off limits at this point as long as it is a safe situation.

  21. #21
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    I think you need to add family somewhere in that list. You can do all 5 of those things you listed, but if your SO doesn’t know does any of that even matter?

  22. #22
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I skipped the preliminaries and jumped to number 4 and 5.

    I'm now at number 8, and I don't expect to make it any higher.

    However, I have been out and about, alone and with other girls, including many times in a cocktail dress or ball gown.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member
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    Only Level 1 so far. Hope for more.
    Vikky
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Adventure before dementia

  24. #24
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Cynthia,

    Your list pretty much encapsulates the journey I and many others have been on.

    When I do get the opportunity to get out and about I, like a few others who've responded, go more or less where I please. My problem has been in recent times to find things to experience that I haven't previously.

    Shopping including using the ladies changing rooms, tick. Ladies toilets, tick. Restaurants, cinema, trains, buses, taxis, tick. Meet up with other CD'ers, tick. My last push at the boundaries was buying a wig in person, something I can recommend to the forum as well as getting a foundation match/makeover in store.

    Things such as tats and piercings aren't for me.

    One thing I did do last time out. While killing time waiting for a train I went for a swift drink in a "straight" pub. Something like that does have the potential to go tits up as we say but it looked a decent sort of place, wasn't too busy and in the end all was well. Even had a packet of peanuts! I know how to show a gurl a good time.

  25. #25
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    Helen,
    Now you've revealed your weakness ! What some people will do for a bag of peanuts !

    I agree there are pubs and there are pubs !! I must admit pubs don't bother me but I did hesitate over the builder's merchant , yes I did get chatted up and that cost them some heavy discounting and we're not talking peanuts here !!!

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