So I am planning on going to my first group therapy session Now I don’t go out dressed that often but my therapist says I can go dressed either way So now I am questioning how I want to go in the guy clothing or female clothing Not sure which is best for my nerves I would like to have some opinions
Honestly my dear, did whatever works for you. If dressing is what makes you most comfortable, dress up. If male more makes you more comfortable, suit up. Its about what you want.
I'm assuming it's a substance abuse session? If so, I think u should go the 1st meeting dressed the way u r most comfortable.
If that's male mode, then if u choose to go as Danielle to future meetings they will already know u.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
No gender therapist they have single sessions and group sessions
Danielle, congratulations on going to group therapy! I would really enjoy that. As others have mentioned, go however you are most comfortable. But since you're looking for some input, I'd probably feel most comfortable for the first group session with a bit of a mixed appearance. Maybe women't jeans and top and a little jewelry--but without full makeup and wig. Just a thought, and hope you have a great first session.
I would say to do whatever makes you feel more comfortable.
Maybe you are ready, maybe you are not.
The only right answer is the one that you decide on.
Here’s a thought for you: if it’s a group session, it’s a chance for you to meet people who will never know your boy side. How does the idea of there being people who only know Danielle, not uh, boy-Danielle sound?
If you wish to be accepted as Danielle go as Danielle.
It gets all the questions out of the way and people will either accept you or not. Most will so not a huge deal.
I went in girl mode first time then several years later went in guy mode and nobody knew who I was.
Danielle,
It's all to do with your comfort level . You don't give many details of your previous outings but a group seesion could be a safe way of dressing as Danielle if you wish . Mikki could have raised a good point of appearing as Danielle , once you've gone down that road it will get easier . The one question is the journey or getting to the venue tricky when dressed ? Obvioulsy it depends on your presentation if it's full on with hair and makeup .
Personally now I wouldn't give it a second thought .
Last edited by Teresa; 02-05-2019 at 03:23 PM.
Hi Danielle. I come to that bridge a lot. A lot more then I would like actually. It’s a big stress point in my life right now. What do I embrace and how do I embrace it. What does this have to do with your situation? It’s this. Everttime I have the opprotunity to enter a new situation. I ask myself the same question you are asking yourself now. Here is what I see when I look through the lens to the future. If I go as my female self the first time. Going the next time and the next is easy for me to just do it. If I choose to go as my male self. The next time I have a chance to go. I will struggle and fight and tear myself apart trying to decide what side of me will go. I have a tendeancy get get wracked with self doubt about will people accept me? Will they let me in? Will I be looked at as some sort of poser? A fraud? Not committed? To a point that it can paralyze me from even going some place. Knowing this about myself and what the future holds. I decide what is the best course for myself. Can I handle it down the road. Most times I go how I feel at that time. But I know it can rear it’s ugly head.
Danielle. If any of that sounds like the fight in your head about how to go. Then I would say go as your female self. Maybe you have to push the boundaries a little the first time. But think down the line. And as mocking and Tracey say. These people will never know the boy you. And isn’t that what your going there for. To see about the female you and how it will be received in the open world.
Cheers
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same
Bite the bullet and go dressed as female, after all that's why your going to a therapist, right? Being honest and upfront is the best start. Just my opinion.
"you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.
If you attend as your male self there is the possibility others in the group may recognize you. Or you may recognize them. Are you comfortable with that?
Dressed wwould be my choice
What do you WANT to do? That will be very telling.
As far as being recognized, that should have no bearing. The group will be confidential. After all, everyone else has the same need for discretion and fears, etc. This should be as safe as it gets. Now logistics may be a concern,but where there is a will there is a way.
Last edited by Meghan4now; 02-05-2019 at 07:18 PM.
Definitely agree. I now have some people I meet who have never seen me "boy me" and would probably walk past him in the street. It's a strange but really nice feeling. They have only ever met the unfiltered version of me and I honestly thought that would never happen.Originally Posted by Micki_Finn
Wear whatever you will be comfortable in, bearing in mind that a ball gown may make you feel overdressedUnless of course that is an important part of your self.
I can relate! Bottom line: what are the primary goals of your therapy? Does being dressed help you achieve that goal or is it indifferent? In other words, if you’re looking to get comfortable in public or interacting with other people, then being dressed makes a lot of sense. If your goal is increasing communication with a spouse or SO, then dressing might initially be less relevant but then gain importance as you progress in therapy.
I just started Round 2 of therapy and my primary goal was to increase communication with my wife. It’s helped a TON and I was able to tell her a lot of information that I was previously afraid and ashamed to talk about... I want to get out dressed, I want makeup, etc. She’s very receptive, but now I’m moving towards trying to figure out what’s the best way to introduce my alter ego to my wife... is it via a picture, is it having her sit by my side throughout the makeover, is it to see me after the makeover is done, etc. It’s within the realm of possibilities that I may end up in a therapy session fully dressed and unveil myself to her in front of the therapist. Who knows!
Lots of great advice and inputs from the other ladies here. I wish you luck and success with your therapy. It’s been great for me and my wife!
Go as Danielle.
First impressions, I have never regretted meeting anyone first as Jean. I have regretted meeting someone first in guy mode.
This must be something you want, you might as well start showing it.
I tended a local TG support group for a few months. They meet once a week. There are members that show up in guy mode and they are not treated any different, also I don’t see them any different.
Who are you, really? Who will get the most out of the the sessions?
Therapy is about allowing yourself to be open. That requires a willingness to be vulnerable.
Allowing others to see you en femme would be a positive step in that direction, imo.
When haters hate, I celebrate!
Natasha Well said you put in a very good perspective for me and I thank you for that
Ladies thank you for your thoughts and encouragement It helps a lot
Last edited by Danielle t; 02-06-2019 at 07:49 AM.
Dress to be comfortable, if you are practiced at it be a woman.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
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