Fantasy vs. Reality

[Tracii G]

Never really had a fantasy about being with a MtF Cder but I did hook up with one and it was awesome.
She is a lovely person and quite beautiful in female presentation.
I have never seen her in boy mode and I really wish I had because I think we could have been great friends.
Just didn't work out.
I have dated guys too in boy mode and girl mode, being gay that does help.

[ShirleyN]

"I'm someone who enjoys crossdressing purely for the sexual thrill and pleasure it brings me. I will admit I have fantasized many times about dressing up and being with another gurl. I get incredibly turned on when I'm home alone, get dressed up, and fantasize about being with another gurl."

This has been (and still is) pretty much the same situation with me, Jenna. I agree that CDing is quite erotic and sexy and I too get very turned on when I dress. I've never had any particular fantasies about being with anyone else other that other women. Just to dress up, got out and have fun with another woman would be enough for me. I also would like to act out some fantasy roleplays such as "office secretary" "french maid" etc again with a woman. but as far as I'm concerned that would be as far as I would be looking.

[Laurie A]

Not speaking from experience, but I have a theory. I believe that a lot of the fantasy comes from unrealistic expectations. I think there are a lot of people out there who SAY they’re interested, but what they really want is a “woman with a penis” not a “gurl” or cross dresser. I think a lot of guys arent really aware that under all the makeup and shape wear, we generally have very “guy” bodies and that’s very difficult to disguise when you’re doing the naked tango. This isn’t helped by the proliferation of trans porn and gorgeous, crazy fishy models who have been on hormones since before puberty.

So true! Of course, the same goes with all media presentations be it porn or mainstream, gay or hetero. Being able to manage unrealistic expectations these days seems to be more and more of a challenge for a lot of folks.

[t-girlxsophie]

Largly due to my marriage ending and thinking i was never going to find someone else,due to my being a CD I Went through a period of hook ups with guys or CDs with mixed results,with the guys i always found reality wasn't anything like I imagined but my experiences by and large with Crossdressers were much better.Of course when I met my now wife,all that was left behind

Sophie

[MonicaPVD]

So I will speak from experience, having been a previously "heteroexclusive" guy who acted many many times on that kind of fantasy. What I have found, after several dozen encounters, is that I don't enjoy most encounters (with a few exceptions, of course). My true motivation, I now understand, has always been to find acceptance. To believe that a man can find me attractive and desirable as a woman. This is a very powerful thing. Most men who are interested in a CD only see us as a sex toy and will treat us with all the dignity and respect and care of a plastic penis. Sometimes, that can be fun and exciting. Most times it's rather degrading. Especially when they *** and either run out the door in shame or throw you out as if you were trespassing on their property.

[Lacy PJs]

While my response doesn't directly answer the OP's question, I've thought a lot about fantasy vs. reality so here goes...

Since a fantasy takes place only in YOUR mind, it can be just like you want it to be. You can gloss over the parts that aren't perfect or change them to suit your... well, fantasy. While I fantasize a lot while being dressed, it's not about being with another CDer or a guy but rather about me. In my fantasies, first off, everything is perfect. My clothing "just fits." Often, I'll be dreaming about something that I even don't own... a wedding dress or maybe a really cute skater's outfit. While I don't think much about my physical body, it's perfect too. I'm not way past 6' nor do I weigh nearly as much as I do in reality; my body just somehow matches what I want it to be. Of course, all of the lingerie matches, the shoes don't hurt my feet and whatever I want to happen, happens... just the way I want it to. And, whatever I do (or don't do) is perfectly OK with my spouse. In other words, fantasy is the perfect dream world.

Reality on the other hand is just that... it's real. Your body isn't perfect; neither is your make-up. Your wig may well fall off, your heels may hurt your feet and those darn garter stocking just aren't long enough for your long legs. "IF" you were with someone else, you would no doubt have some questions about your appearance to that person and perhaps the appropriateness of your best lady-like actions. Continuing the "IF," if you were to engage in some kind of intimate activities, you would probably have some concerns about your partner's appearance, his grooming habits, body odor, what he thinks of you as a CDer and you should have some doubts about the health risks you might be taking. So even if you are Cinderella just waiting for the charming & dashing prince to sweep you off your feet, things would no doubt not be as perfect as they are in your fantasy of a similar event.

As for me, I'm perfectly content to continue living the dreams that are in my head and it won't go any farther than that. So when I dress, things may not be perfect but they are in my head and I'm "perfectly" OK with that.

Lacy PJs

[Stephanie D]

Not speaking from experience, but I have a theory. I believe that a lot of the fantasy comes from unrealistic expectations. I think there are a lot of people out there who SAY they’re interested, but what they really want is a “woman with a penis” not a “gurl” or cross dresser. I think a lot of guys arent really aware that under all the makeup and shape wear, we generally have very “guy” bodies and that’s very difficult to disguise when you’re doing the naked tango. This isn’t helped by the proliferation of trans porn and gorgeous, crazy fishy models who have been on hormones since before puberty.

I would have to say that Micki is 100% SPOT on with this...speaking for myself of course. Trying to be very respectful and not blur the lines of acceptable and distasteful wording, but I fully agree that the unrealistic perception based in fantasy (based on the countless videos online of highly modified "professional" women with a penis or very sexy men with boobs) and that only perpetuates the vast distance of fantasy and reality. It really is unrealistic for most to ever look anywhere close to a beautiful GG, but with a penis. The difference between showgirl perfection and the everyday dresser is all revealed when stepping out of the shower with nothing to hide behind.... Maybe right then and there, the fantasy for some would end. Fantasy can be perfect, but reality is real.

[BostonBrenda]

Fantasies play a big role in how we see ourselves never be shy to yourself about what you desire

[Becky Blue]

I speak from no experience but want to firstly comment to respond to the posters who say most of "us' have had those fantasies at times. I do not believe that to be the case, it certainly has not been in my case and I would say many of the girls I know have also never had any fantasies of being with Guys or other CD/Tg's. My Sexuality does not change according to how I dress.

Perhaps the reality being not as good as the fantasy could actually apply to many people fantasising about doing it with another person no matter what gender or sexual orientation.

[DaisyLawrence]

I speak from no experience but want to firstly comment to respond to the posters who say most of "us' have had those fantasies at times. I do not believe that to be the case, it certainly has not been in my case and I would say many of the girls I know have also never had any fantasies of being with Guys or other CD/Tg's. My Sexuality does not change according to how I dress.

Perhaps the reality being not as good as the fantasy could actually apply to many people fantasising about doing it with another person no matter what gender or sexual orientation.

Fantasy is a waste of life. Reality is life. Watch porn or have sex, it's your choice.

[Michellebej]

I had this really dear friend. A GG who was very supportive of me and in fact eventually only was friends with me rather than "him". She had a very complicated sexual make up and this was made worse by having a husband who was almost exactly the polar opposite of her sexually. Though it turned out was almost a perfect match for my desires. One day she asked me if I would have a threesome with her and her husband, and of course i said "yes". The day came and while she and I were waiting for him to come home I really wondered if I would do it, though I never told her that. She told me that she wanted me to start with him and she wanted to watch and then join in. Well, he got there and came over and sat down with me and when he leaned in for a kiss, I responded as though it were the most natural thing in the world, and that is how the rest of it went. Carole, my bff never joined in. She just sat and watched us for awhile and then kissed me goodnight and went to bed. At the end it felt like the most natural thing on Earth. For her part Carole's husband loved it and Carole asked me back the next night, and the next, ect. Until one day she asked me if I would mind "taking care of her husband". Which began a seven year relationship. Some might find it strange that neither he nor I consider it gay sex. For my part I believe in my heart and soul I am a woman. I never let him near the front of my panties and he never tries. I do know he regards me the same as he regarded Carole, as a GG. though he does know better. I really think it is a very individual thing. Very much depending on where you are on the rainbow.