​Is crossdressing an addiction, a compulsion, or something else? It is an addiction like smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, or doing drugs? Do we do it just for the thrill because "it is wrong to do it"? What causes men to want to dress up as women?

My wife has “discovered” my crossdressing several times over our many years of marriage. Each time I "got caught" I have tried to stop doing it. I obviously come back to doing it again. This time around I explained that I have been crossdressing since before I went through puberty. I told her how I have tried stopping many times over the years even before we started dating or got married. A few times she came home unexpectedly while I was dressed up. A few times she found some of my female stuff.

Several days after telling my wife my life story with crossdressing she came up with the idea that it is an addiction that I have. She came up with this idea that I should be able to give it up like she gave up smoking many years ago. I don't know if this is an attempt on her part to try to deal with this situation. I explained to her that I like the clothes, shoes, etc. that I have bought each time. I like the way they look on me. I like the way they feel on me. I enjoy the transformation that takes place. She feels I am choosing crossdressing over her. My father cheated on my mother many times during their marriage. I have never done that to my wife and she knows I never will be with another woman. I do not know if she is considering my female side as "the other woman".

I told her that I am not one of those guys that have “too much testosterone on the brain”. I said I am still a guy and enjoy doing "guy things” but occasionally,I want to become a girl and enjoy "girly things". I do not want SRS,hormones, or anything along those lines. I just want to have some "dress up" time occasionally. I assured her that my crossdressing is not a substitute for our intimacy with each other or for anything else. I need some help dealing with this situation. How do I get her to understand this is a part of me? I am hoping to get her to accept it or at least tolerate it? I am tired of the hiding and the lies. I do not want to hide this anymore. I do not want to lose her because of my crossdressing. I love my wife more than anything else.