Yesterday was cold and my wife suggested we did some mid winter clothes clean up, that's my favourite we try on clothes and everything from her side comes to my side. At one point she went to make coffee and brought it into the bedroom and she laid on the bed and asked me if she could ask me something. She asked me why I wasn't throwing anything out, that I have clothes I never wore and yet I still keep them and even though I get new stuff I never remove anything and now it seems it's getting out of control. She told me that I'm in my mid 50s now and I have pantyhose, bras and panties for a life time and for some reason I wear the same things and mostly the cheaper stuff and the nicer stuff I'm saving for she doesn't know for what.
One thing about my wife is the day I told her about my dressing instead of freeking out she found it interesting and her last words were "Let's see where your going with this" and that's what she has been doing for the past 30 years sitting in the wing and observing.
I told her I don't know why, I just can't throw anything out and asked her since she's been observing me all these years if she can explain to me why it feels like I'm a hoarder.
She started explaining and to my surprise she really was observing, she told me that I need selection because she notices that when we are at the mall or somewhere and she sees something catches my eye the next time I dress I try to duplicate that look and I have to make sure I have the stuff to do that.
If I see a women's green bra strap and that triggers something I want to make sure I have a green bra, and she knows when I get home from work what I seen during the day on the choice of clothes I choose to wear and knows a lot of my dressing involves role playing. But then she said the way I'm collecting so much stuff if I'm holding back and not telling her something, it seems like I'm getting ready for a evolution or am I planning a big coming out one day in the future and I want to make sure I'm well stocked.
She said it seems like Maria is like a hurricane, you can almost predict its path, but it can change its direction very fast and cause a lot of distruction along the way, very unpredictable.
WOW! what a crazy theory I looked at her speechless and I didn't know what to say, everything she said sounded about right. I told her I feel as if I collect soo much because when I want to dress I want to make sure I have the stuff to whatever I'm craving. I told her I believe I mostly collect because when I was younger I could have only imagined finding a accepting wife and owning all this fem stuff, almost like I don't want to take it for granted. The person who starved though the war will never throw out food and that's how I feel. She told me if I do remove some stuff I will be more organized and to maybe enjoy my nicer stuff because not that I'm getting old but I'm not getting any younger.
I do appreciate my wife's opinion and believe she is my therapist at times, always seeing my dressing in a positive light and having someone seeing things from the outside looking in.
I'm just wondering if anyone else here can relate with my collecting and give me your theory on why we can't throw or donate anything.