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Thread: Does the public really acceot us more now?

  1. #1
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    Does the public really acceot us more now?

    In an earlier post (Coming out?), two related comments caught my eye .. better acceptance by the younger generation and by each succesive generation. Really? Some would say 'yes' and some would say 'no'.

    What is YOUR position on this matter, and why? Please, if known, please give specific referrals to any media points to help support your thoughts which may be of benefit to others here.

  2. #2
    Reality Check
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    No, the public does not accept us more now. Some nuts in the media claim to but "real" people continue to joke about Bruce/Caitlin Jenner and others as well as crossdressers in general.
    Krisi

  3. #3
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    Well, the real test is to go out dressed and find out for yourself.

    I last went out on Tuesday afternoon to visit my niece which is a bus ride away. Despite noisy teenagers coming home from school around that time, not one comment made, no glances nor stares. No issues on the bus there or back Thirty years ago it would likely have been a lot more different. I think attitudes are improving. Most of the shit I presume to be online trolls but in reality, people tend to mind their own beeswax. I think because many are at the very least a bit more accepting/tolerant, and also partly because they are aware that they could be accused of hate speech/crimes.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I tend to agree with Krisi. In the midwest areas i have lived the past almost nine yrs, nothing has changed much/

  5. #5
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    I disagree with Krisi. I believe that since more people are aware that we exist, a big thanks to Caitlyn Jenner and others like Laverne Cox, et al, who helped get the word "transgender" into the uninformed vocabulary, knowledge, understanding, tolerance and some support has definitely increased. Yes, there are those that will never tolerate us out there, but they are a small minority to all the others. The sky isn't falling and I believe that this new knowledge is helping others to understand us better. Back when I started my path down the road and across the spectrum there were only rare roles that represented transsexuals (E.g. The Crying Game), and now you have movie and television stories, including roles for and about transsexuals. Many of these roles are also being portrayed by transsexuals. That being said, only a few deal with crossdressers, which is a shame. However, since the general public many times lumps us all together, the benefits for the few have overflowed to the many (TS to CD). Finding information online is much easier and actually can yield good and meaningful results.

    As for those that say that they want to go out but can't because they live in ultra conservative areas. I have always had a hard time understanding that because so many members here for all over the USA, including conservative areas go out and report never having problems. Most say that the general public has been very tolerating/accepting of them. Most times their perceived fear are more in their heads than out their where they live.

  6. #6
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I can only speak about the areas I have been dressed, which is the Poconos/ Lehigh Valley and Denver a few years ago. I had no problems in Denver and as I live in the Poconos and dress here frequently, I can honestly say that at least to my face there has been an acceptance or at least a tolerance.
    I can relate an example, The church I now attend is accepting of me. We were discussing the church's past and it was mentioned that when they were looking to replace a priest, some 15+ years ago, there was a gay candidate. Very able and viable, but there was a hesitation on how the regular members would take to him, at this point, I said that if I was looking to join then, I probably wouldn't have lasted a week. They didn't disagree, but I got the drift. As it turns out,the reverend took himself out of consideration in that he felt the area wasn't lively or big enough for his Kansas tastes.
    So in that today I am comfortable as Nikki, I am an active member on some of the boards and seem to have won over the majority of the members I can say things have changed for the better.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Being that I live in a large but yet conservative metro area I find that most here just have more to deal with then trans folks
    Now with that said there are places I would not venture into but that is true most places. I’ve nerver truly had any problem
    being out where I live. I really think it’s all about how one presents themselves, if they look and act like they belong and
    don’t make a big deal of who they are the better of you are. That’s my take

  8. #8
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    From my experiences being out and in a very conservative area, no problems! Oh,yes a bad look once in a while but no words spoken! And I had to go one county over and to a larger city to find an accepting church! Just my experiences! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
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  9. #9
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    i believe it does, we watch shows like "empire" and "star" and it is not comic relief that LGBT characters are used as....i believe they are a truer representation of who we are in a wide spectrum too....so with a decent depiction of who we are on prime time TV news stories are not the only source. these types of shows are not the reality type like Jaz and the like.

    online stories are scary when you read the comments when the topic is "trans whatever" but those folks have keyboard muscles, if out in public those who post that way would tend to keep it to themselves and not cause a fuss. i have had comments out loud on one occasion, awkward stares and shaking heads of disapproval and will just smile and go on my way, takes some thick skin and i live in liberal new Jersey but i think they're just a bunch of hypocrites about it. being 6' flat footed and 42 in girth does not help me blend but i try my best.
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  10. #10
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
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    Been out hundreds and hundreds of times (I never pass, never will). Yes, unequivocally the public is more accepting.

    I have real life, actual experience.
    Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

  11. #11
    mini kilted chick t-girlxsophie's Avatar
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    Based on my varied trips out I believe there is more acceptance,I do feel more comfortable now through that.of course that doesnt mean you don't still have to be aware

    Sophie
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    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Before when?

    I don’t think celebs do much at all.

    I’ve been out for a while now.

    What I have found is that people have been touched by someone in the LGBT community.

    It’s these individuals that have made the difference in my world. Two such individuals come to mind. You would not know them as they are just two people living their lives. By living their lives here, the people they touch are influenced. There are many others.

    Then I came along and stirred the pot some more.

    It continues as life goes on.
    Personal relationships is what makes the difference. People living their lives in the open.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Christie ann's Avatar
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    Yes I think there is more acceptance now. I remember being in a liberal college town in the mid 1980’s and asked for help with make up at a make up counter. I was told “ We don’t do men” . Now, I can go out in a very conservative city and not only get a make over but can try on wedding dresses with other brides in the same store. I won’t say that all the moms are excited about my presence, but from our conversations, I don’t think the brides seem to mind.

    That being said, I was out the other day and at the checkout counter I had the feeling the woman looked at me and ( as I put words in her mouth) seemed to think here we go again, another trans person...

  14. #14
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    . Murders are down
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    . The number of used closets are up on eBay although not selling to well

    Yeah I'd say thing are better.
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  15. #15
    Member Celee's Avatar
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    I think that in today’s environment most people are afraid to stick their nose into other people’s business. When I was a kid everyone would watch the neighborhood and would report back to your mom after they told you what they thought about you and your behavior. There was no hesitation about stating their opinion so anything you did was top secret.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keira Bea View Post
    Well, the real test is to go out dressed and find out for yourself.

    I last went out on Tuesday afternoon to visit my niece which is a bus ride away. Despite noisy teenagers coming home from school around that time, not one comment made, no glances nor stares. No issues on the bus there or back Thirty years ago it would likely have been a lot more different. I think attitudes are improving. Most of the shit I presume to be online trolls but in reality, people tend to mind their own beeswax. I think because many are at the very least a bit more accepting/tolerant, and also partly because they are aware that they could be accused of hate speech/crimes.
    Agree with what Keira writes... The real test is to do it publicly and the real path to social acceptance for our lot is for enough CDers to do so. But I do have say you do need to be smart and safe about it foremost. In general it seems that younger people are more accepting of gender nonconformity, (but keep in mind, they also may not want to hang around a someone who isn't their age--depending on how old you are yourself). Really, when it comes down to it, most people most of the time have 101 things they care more about than what someone else they are passing by is wearing clothes-wise.

  17. #17
    Junior Member mercterr's Avatar
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    I think people are more tolerant of differences today. The younger generation is definitely more tolerant than their parents. There are way more characters portrayed in pop culture today that are gay or trans. It's not a death sentence to the career of a a professional athlete or anyone else really to be openly gay. That being said, I don't think it is openly embraced or encouraged in society today to be gender fluid. So while it is better than in the past, it's still not fantastic.

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    The younger generation has been taught to be more tolerant of people with differences, the older generation are not nearly as accepting.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    No, the public does not accept us more now. Some nuts in the media claim to but "real" people continue to joke about Bruce/Caitlin Jenner and others as well as crossdressers in general.
    So the ignorant and fearful are the "real" people? And those "nuts" in the media are just what? Fake news? That's just rubbish.

    To be sure, those poor people do exist, and that fear and ignorance is being cynically exploited by certain groups, but I am here to tell you that the Jenny's observation about younger people being more accepting, in general, is absolutely true. I've experienced it myself. More than once, I have had a young person approach me, a complete stranger, to say how wonderful it was to see me out in the real world. One even asked for a hug. Yes, that kind of thing is still uncommon in more backwards communities, but even that is changing.

    Yes, change usually comes in steps, some forward and some backwards, but one can't deny the progress that has been made for LGBTQ rights and understanding. Never, never believe that change is not happening, and that more is not possible.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  20. #20
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    These days folks are so buried in their electronics that I'd imagine a person could be walking down the street, head deep into their phone, pass three or four CDers on the street without noticing while simultaneously posting flaming comments against crossdressers on the interwebs

  21. #21
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Jenny,

    As it's only in the last 5 or 6 years that I've been going out in public in some ways it's difficult to gauge the true position. What I can reflect upon is just how Gay people were represented in the media. They were very much stereotyped as being effeminate, overly exaggerated gestures, camp. Jokes might start, "Have you heard the one about the puff who.....". Generally they were not portrayed well.

    Now it's a much better portrayal and it's on the back of that we now enjoy greater acceptance. As being Gay has largely lost its taboo nature and many public figures are openly Gay. It's become largely a non event to the general population. True there are still those who hold bigoted views but without generalising too much, they tend to be the same cohorts that are either racist xenophobes or hold a religious belief.

    So my experiences of being out and about I would say have been 99.9% positive and even the 0.1% have only been relatively minor events, the pointed use of the incorrect pronoun, "Here's your change,...Mate!". Beyond that I've had many a conversation with a total stranger, most SA's but also random interactions while on public transport. Positive affirming comments about a blouse I've been wearing or the colour of my nails.

    And it's not just SA's doing their job and being polite because they have to. You don't end up chatting about broken down heating boilers unless that person wants to share their woes with you.

    So yes, I feel things are improving and I have to say while more prevalent in the young it's not totally confined to them.

  22. #22
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    In my opinion, it depends on where you are. Denver is very tolerant, accepting, and supportive. Colorado Springs, 60 miles to the south, is generally only tolerant, except in one of the burbs, Manitou Springs, where there is greater acceptance. In general, the more conservative regions are less so, but even in liberal areas there are parts of the community CDs and TGs should stay out of unless you are carrying a weapon. Even here in Denver there are neighborhoods where it would be dangerous to go. But in some towns in the more rural areas of the state, especially eastern Colorado which is very conservative on the whole, you will get the evil eye from most everyone. But you are still safe. I suspect it is more or less the same elsewhere, that is, it depends.

    But, in my opinion, there is a whole lot of educating going on and people's minds are changing. I am non-binary and therefore have a mixed gender expression. The younger generation love it, those who are middle aged are more accepting if female and less if male, and in my own generation there is a lot of head shaking. I get favorable spoken "reviews" from young women, but only smiles from older women. Men? Well, what can I say. But the highest percentage goes to the people who are just tolerant.

  23. #23
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    Jenny,
    It's only a question that can be truly answered by ones who have experienced it and also the style of appearance depending how you wish to present yourself in the RW .

    I know there are obvious culural differences beween the UK and the US so I can only give my reply from a UK perspective .

    After a year of being full time my reply has to be total acceptance , not a single comment, no misgendered moments . This has been irrespective of age groups , the best example I can give was when I accompanied my daughter and granddaughter to see a pantomime . It was an afternoon performance the theatre was full with ages ranging from young children to elderly grandparents , I felt totally comfortable , I chatted with a group of teenagers while queing for ice creams in the interval .

    As for everyday, SAs are fine no matter what the retail outlet , the staff are fine in my opticians , the medical team are very helpful in my GP's surgery . I openly chat to dog walkers .

    The fear of stepping out the door is the biggest obstacle , epecially if you're in a DADT situation . The list of worries , what will the neighbours think , what if you run into one of your friends or work colleagues ! The point to remember is you and I aren't the only CDers or TGs, there are far more TG people out there than you can imagine , I've discovered this by the people I've spoken to . So many people have family members or close friends who are in transition or TG , I can count now of at least 12 F/M I've been told about surprisingly less M/Fs .

    Sometimes I feel our little stories of being out in the RW are boring to some people , to others it's the lifeline to take that first step , I love to read about those first experiences because everyone who takes the plunge passes on the courage and hope to the next person . Many of the stories then relate to them saying , " What was all the fuss about ? "
    Last edited by Teresa; 02-16-2019 at 06:57 AM.

  24. #24
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    I agree with Teresa. It depends on where you are and how you present yourself. If you dress to blend in, people will for the most part treat you like just another woman. If you dress to stand out, you will stand out and get lots of attention, good and not so good. Now, people in less cosmopolitan areas tend to gawk a little more but most people are much more polite, reserved or self-absorbed than in the past. This has been my experience.

  25. #25
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    No...not in our conservative, opinionated, religious area. A local GLBT group has been trying for years, but rejection and ridicule continue. Maybe some day, but I doubt it.

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