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Thread: Do X-wives & X-girlfriends keep our Cross dressing a Secret

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  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Robbiegirl's Avatar
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    Do X-wives & X-girlfriends keep our Cross dressing a Secret

    As far as you know have your Xs kept the fact that you liked to wear women's clothing a secret ?

    I guess the only way you would know for sure is if someone told you or asked you if the rumor was true. Then what do you do, deny it and then who will they probably believe ?

    The situation I am really most curious about is X-girlfriends. We are all in agreement that Honesty is the best policy, and have been encouraged by the Ladies on this Board to tell women very early in the relationship. I have heard many of you say you did this and it turned out Great . What I haven't really heard of is stories where the woman can't handle the crossdressing and breaks things off. What does she tell her friends when they ask what happened ?

    Do you think a woman would tell her gal pals about a guy crossdressing ? I think women understand this is pretty embarrassing for guys ?

    I am not trying to judge the women involved, just trying to find out what the likely scenario is when a relationship doesn't work out

    Any experiences or thoughts would be appreciated

  2. #2
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    I know that one ex-girlfriend of mine told a (former) work colleague of mine.
    She was gobsmacked!
    I'm half a world away right now and haven't seen either of them in years.

    I should add that it was not done maliciously. More as a passing comment during the course of a conversation.
    She did inform me and apologize.
    Last edited by GaleWarning; 02-17-2019 at 12:01 PM.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Hell hath no fury as the saying goes, both of my ex'es when wound up could really have a go, having said that when it comes to splitting up I dont think any secret would be kept, it all comes out in the end whether used malicously in a divorce or intended to damage friends whichever way it gets messy.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  4. #4
    Reality Check
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    It depends on the woman and the reason for the breakup, but you can never be sure she won't tell. You can deny it of course unless she has photos. In general, I would assume that an ex wife will tell.
    Krisi

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    My four X housemates have shared the adventures with a number of their friends, most have been eager to meet me, years later and swap mamories of some of the adventures we had back then.

    Others have not been interested but there has never been a negative reaction
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    My ex hasn't. However, she's paranoid someone will "come after us" if folks know I dress!

    And, I still live with our youngest daughter.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
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    My ex listed it in the divorce papers as a power move. She told some people, they discussed it in email. I know because I was a better IT person then her. Eleven years later, no one has ever said anything about it to me.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    None of my exes know, But my wife's friends know, and seems like most of the women have told others and none of the men from what I could tell.

  9. #9
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    I don't have any personal experience with ex-wives spreading knowledge of my cross dressing. Maybe, decades ago she may have confided in her cousin. If so, nothing has been said or her actions towards me changed. My wife around the time we had "The Talk" told me she would spread the information if we ever got divorced. For what it was worth she was using that information so we would not get divorced. She wasn't going to let her husband go off. Later, she said if we were to get divorced she would not tell anyone. So, in actuality she was using this personal information to keep her husband. She also said it would be "two faced" for her to dump me for cross dressing when I openly accepted her with a somewhat sordid past. She also said she wished she had not owned up to her past even though I did not ask her about her past. And, after almost fifty years of marriage have never asked her about it. If it did not mean anything back then, it certainly does not mean anything since.

    She asked me once why I did not tell her about my interest in wearing women's clothing or past experiences which were minimal; kid messing around in his mother's lingerie. My interest was rekindled years later after we were married. I asked her if she remember the conversation she had with her cousin about the married couple who lived down the street. Nice couple. No kids yet. Had designs to build a dream home on a large lot in the immediate neighborhood. The wife worked with my wife's cousin. Well, turned out he liked to wear women's clothing. Dumped him. Obviously used that information against him. The conversation at the kitchen table made it sound as if any man who wore women's clothing was a pervert. I asked my wife why would you expect me to tell you after hearing the two of you talk. They were not filleting a fish. But, it was obvious a man wearing women's clothing was not normal. Years later when we had "The Talk" I asked my wife if she remembered her talk with her cousin. Nope! Did not even remember the married couple. I definitely remember.

    I always considered it "The nuclear option" to be held over the guy's head.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    I fortunately have no first hand experience with this but my thought is if the breakup is bad there may be no limits on who they tell. On the other hand if the split was not about CD’ing and you were still somewhat friends the damage may be much less or even possibly none.
    Vindictive ex friends, put them in the no limits category.
    Crissy

  11. #11
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    Beverly, your "years later and swap mamories" made me wonder if they were foam or silicone. Sorry! I couldn't resist.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Steph_CD_62's Avatar
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    I know my ex-wife moved away 1500 miles, but still managed to tell people.

    I had a strange phone call from one of her friends out where she was now leaving asking me if I wore women's clothing, I told him yes I did.

    Also the god-father of our daughter asked me point blank one time while we were at the bar, because he had heard it from someone we both knew. I neither denied or admitted to it.

    So it is hard to tell how many people my ex-wife told, and how many people in the small town I live in knows about my crossdressing.

  13. #13
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Only 1 Ex girlfriend ever knew.
    I'm 100% certain she never told anyone. We were almost married, but things interfered and yet we remained closer friends than I can say.
    She carried my secret to her grave and I still carry her deepest secret in the same way.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Robbiegirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happilymarriedguy View Post
    I know my ex-wife moved away 1500 miles, but still managed to tell people.

    I had a strange phone call from one of her friends out where she was now leaving asking me if I wore women's clothing, I told him yes I did.

    Also the god-father of our daughter asked me point blank one time while we were at the bar, because he had heard it from someone we both knew. I neither denied or admitted to it.

    So it is hard to tell how many people my ex-wife told, and how many people in the small town I live in knows about my crossdressing.
    Do you happen to remember why you even replied to this strange guy and then what his response was ?

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Steph_CD_62's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robbiegirl View Post
    Do you happen to remember why you even replied to this strange guy and then what his response was ?
    For some reason my ex-wife gave this guy my phone number. I think I stunned him when I admitted to it

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    Beverly, your "years later and swap mamories" made me wonder if they were foam or silicone. Sorry! I couldn't resist.
    Jenny,

    N.A.S.A. had not invented silicone adhesive at the time, well actually they had but it was still a secret.

    I did have a couple of pairs of foam forms with a fomed nipple on them and these caused a sensation as they were new even then.

    I had them from a movie prop and they soon dereriorated, crumbled to dust.

    They cost twenty dollars in 1970.

    Cotton wool was all the go then and later fiber fill insulation was good as it did not compact like cotton wool.

    If you copped a feel with cotton wool it would eventually compact down, so lots of fresh cotton wool was needed to combat the feeling and squeezy hands you had to endure.

    Maybe that is why I always seem to have cotton wool in my mouth these days if I am caught out. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  17. #17
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I think it depends on whether the breakup was friendly or not. When things get ugly, people behave in an ugly manner. But if the couple remain friends, I can see where an appeal for continued privacy would work.
    Reine

  18. #18
    Junior Member Jodi Yardley's Avatar
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    I just recently told a old girlfriend (hs times) about my dressing, we have stayed in touch over all the years. She says and seems she is supportive so I trust her to keep the "secret" I confided in her.

  19. #19
    naughty nurse Billie Jean's Avatar
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    Not really sure if my ex told anyone or not but then I don't care. Billie Jean

  20. #20
    Member JenX's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if the ex g/f ever told anyone as we no longer communicate.

  21. #21
    Re Member beckypanties's Avatar
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    As far as I know, yes. However, knowing my first wife, I am sure she would have told her family and anyone else who would listen, including my family. Nobody ever said anything to me to indicate that they knew.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    NOt that I know of I only had 4 gf that knew about my dressing and 3 I don't talk to and my current gf. I never had any one say anything to me about it so I think I am safe

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Joni T's Avatar
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    My ex told everybody about it before we were ex's. Some accepted it and the ones that didn't, well, life was better without them any way.
    Jon

  24. #24
    Member Diane Taylor's Avatar
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    Both my ex wife and my current girlfriend have told others. I have no problem with it because the more that know the lesser the burden we carry around with us.

  25. #25
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    There is another rather sad aspect of this we do not consider. When my mither was living in my house I just told her so I could wear what I wanted and she was fine with it. Some years later she went to live with my brother and his wife and developed dementia. An ex who is much younger than me who knew developed pre-senile dementia and we have quite a few friends in common. When this happens people no longer have control over what they tell. But nothing has come of either so maybe discretion is maintained when this happens. Or maybe they are not believed. The problem here is theirs not ours and I feel so sorry this has happened to them.

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