Met a Fellow CD

[suzanne]

On my way home from my leg waxing appointment, I stopped at a convenience store for a drink. I was wearing all femme, but fairly neutral clothes: yoga pants, top, cardigan, 4 inch heels and my fave faux fur coat. A man came up behind me and asked, "Are you a crossdresser?" I replied that, yes I am, and he told me he was, too. We then got into a ten minute conversation about a wide range of CD topics. He told me his style was to pass as much as possible, and that, when he goes out like that, women are jealous. I don't doubt for a second that he can put it together and rock it, because he's small enough that he can find no end of awesome places to find clothes. He told me about his favorite CD nightclub, although I'll probably never go because nightclubs are not my style. We discussed the relative merits of leg waxing versus shaving, then we said goodbye.

It was my first time actually meeting a fellow CD in person, and a good one. I didn't ask him for a phone number, because since he didn't offer it, I decided not to invade his privacy that way.

Kind of a mundane story, sorry about that. I'm hoping some of you have stories to tell of chance meeting.

[Samm]

I guess he broke that unwritten "don't talk to a crossdresser" rule... good for him.
And good for you, too

[Beverley Sims]

A pleasant interaction for both of you, if you meet again you can probably have a coffee together and communicate more.

Meetings like that have left me with the opportunity lost theme playing behind me.

I usually don't connect up cold turkey either, it has been through others or at a function where we are on common ground.

Often like you have observed your interests are quite different and dressing styles are not to your taste either.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Way cool!

[suzanne]

He didn't tell me the details of his style, except that he aims to pass 100% and he succeeds at it. I'm envious of that aspect, and I respect it, but I just don't feel i could make it my style because my physical dimensions don't lend themselves to convincingly walking that path. He is younger than me and does clubs, but not daytime outings. I do daytime shopping but not clubs. I felt like besides the crossdressing we had little else in common, so the best thing to do was thank him for opening up a conversation and wish him good luck. I wanted him to see that I respect however someone else wants to express their gender even though it might not be what I choose for myself.

I did try to encourage him to just get out dressed during the day, emphasizing that nobody cares. I wanted to add that I'm convinced that heels look good on everybody, female, male, genderfluid, whatever. Oh well. Maybe another time.

[Tracii G]

He is not short on having an ego.
He may think he passes but you would have to see it to make your own assessment.
I have met a few in similar situations.
If its obvious a person is a CD asking is not big deal.

[Ressie]

I see CDs out and about every once in while. But now I'm wondering how many regular guys out shopping are closet CDs like me? The few times I've told strangers I cross dress I showed them photos I have on my phone.

[Lara A]

I see a cd dressed at my local grocery store sometimes, and I am just waiting for the chance to let her know I think she is cool! The checkout lady once said to me as I followed her thru in the line, "Did you see that! That was a man!!!" I told her I thought that was cool...

[Krisi]

Well, if you ever questioned your ability to pass, now you know. You don't.

I would never walk up to someone and ask if they were a crossdresser. Think how embarrassing that would be if the person turned out to be a real woman? And how bad would that make her feel? And if it was a crossdresser, you're telling her that she's not passing. Also not good.

Some things are best not said. This is one of them.

[Maria in heels]

Well Suzanne, you handled the meeting very well. I thought too that the "unwritten" rule was not to ask or comment, even when we do, because she may not be ready to deal with speaking with someone, or attracting attention to herself. I had met someone at a weekend gathering who turns out, lives in my area as well, and she came into the local diner. While I wanted to say "hi" I was in male mode with one of my sons and my closest friend, who commented that "I think thats a female transitioning into male" and I just told him that she was transgender and from the neighborhood. He got the cue and just didn't stare or talk about her anymore. I thought that it was kinda cool that he thought that she was a FTM so things are definitely working out for her. When I saw her at the monthly night party, I did tell her that I saw her and even though I was dying to say hello, since I couldn't catch her eye, I just stayed away to give her personal space

[michelleddg]

I was running on the Las Vegas strip in boy disguise early in the morning last week when I passed a sister the size of a power forward. She was dressed conservatively but, of course, stood out. I could have easily started a conversation by pointing out I was shaved from the nose down with pretty nails and eyelashes, and I had my introduction ready "Hi, I'm Michelle, you look very nice today". However, decorum and respect for privacy won out. Interestingly, our paths crossed again 20 minutes later at McDonald's. (Hate paying hotel prices for breakfast.) Hugs, Michelle

[Meghan4now]

If you're going to cross that bridge, that's the way to do it. Respectful and gives them an out. As far as letting a sister know she isn't passing, well that's probably a fairly kind way of doing so.

[Joyce Swindell]

Pretty wild .... I wonder if you had acted upset and responded as if actually a female?

[Micki_Finn]

Yeah “Are you a cross dresser” is about the rudest way to open a conversation with someone. You might as well walk up to a woman and ask her if she has a vagina. Add in complications from Trans people who do NOT generally consider themselves CDs... so yeah, glad you were able to meet a “sister” but I have questions about his story. I find it hard to believe that someone that involved with the community would be that insensitive. It almost sounds like he’s a “chaser” looking to ingratiate himself.

[Angie G]

I did meet up once with a Fellow crossdresser for coffee spent some time talking. I'd welcome the chance to do it again.
Angie

[suzanne]

Krisi: as a MIAD, I absolutely know I don't pass as a woman, because I'm not trying to. LOL! I guess my presentation naturally invites inquiries, maybe even rude ones. I never thought of that before but it's okay.

[Krisi]

Well knowing that, it takes the thread in an entirely different direction. It takes away the potentially insulting possibility that you are actually a female. Dressing in woman's clothes an heels while presenting as a male certainly invites conversation.

[Patience]

I was wearing all femme, but fairly neutral clothes: yoga pants, top, cardigan, 4 inch heels and my fave faux fur coat.

That's an interesting ensemble. I'd be curious to see it.

I have had a run-in with another CDer. I was in a thrift store going through the racks. I was in drab, but my painted nails are a dead giveaway. As I'm going through the clothes, there’s this other tall person there as well. From what I remember, s/he was wearing some kind of coat, jeans, a handbag and an obvious synthetic wig in some unnatural color, like purple or silver or something. Our eyes did meet briefly, sort of acknowledging each other, but that was it. That person left before me.

When I left I saw the fellow outside, smoking a cigarette or something. Waiting for me? Maybe, maybe not. I just walked to my car, which was in the opposite direction from where he was. He then went to his own car. That’s the last time I saw him/her.

Yeah “Are you a cross dresser” is about the rudest way to open a conversation with someone. You might as well walk up to a woman and ask her if she has a vagina.

I know you didn’t mean that as a joke, Micki, but that was pretty funny.

[Majella St Gerard]

The ONLY time I approach another CD us when I bump into one at a club or bar and then only really just a polite nod.

[MonicaPVD]

I was wearing all femme, but fairly neutral clothes: yoga pants, top, cardigan, 4 inch heels and my fave faux fur coat.

I'm sure you looked fierce, babe, but fairly neutral clothes is more along the lines of yoga pants and sneakers not heels and a fur coat. Anyway, if you rock the look then good for you. That's all that matters.

[Asew]

I was at Goodwill the other day (as a MIAD with heeled boots, skirt, Hawaiian shirt and cardigan, my beard was shaved but the stubble was obvious). I was browsing the skirts and I see a man look towards me and nudge the woman next to him and said something. I figured it was something negative but just kept to myself. When I went over the dress section he came over and said something along the lines "Hey, I am like you" and rolls up his pant. I didn't know what he meant, but he then said how we was wearing nylons and dresses at home and would never had the guts to got in public like I was and he was in awe. We chatted for a bit and he said he has never met someone who dressed and would like to talk more over lunch sometime, so his wife gave me his number. After seeing this thread I decided to call and we talked for a bit. I always find it hard to connect with other dressers since I am afraid of admirers and bad apples, but I feel bad that he has no one outside his wife to talk with about this.

[Sara1989]

Sounds like an awesome interaction! I have never met someone while I was dressed...or maybe I didn't notice. I kind of think it would be awesome to meet someone out just doing something regular like shopping for groceries. He is right that there is no end to awesome clothes to buy!!!

[MsEva]

Think I saw a sister out and about a few weeks ago. Really too large a frame to be an average female. I guessed that she took the ferry over from Norfolk and wanted to just be another person out for a stroll. She was dressed down in skinny jeans, had on a coat, scarf and scarf under an umbrella (perhaps hiding under it a bit too much). It was a rainy Monday. Not much foot traffic other than her going bye. She walked around my place of employ and seemed to have no real destination other than the stroll. I could be wrong but my spider senses were tingling, All I can say is if I am right, good on you!

[MsEva]

Well it seems it is a Monday thing. I saw her again yesterday outside the place of employment. She was wearing "painted" jeans, flats a cute jacket and some big aviator Ray Bans. I am guessing she is one of us. Same path as the first time I saw her. All I can say is well done young lady. You passed very nicely. My co-workers didn't really bat an eyelash.

[Jasmine Jones NZ]

It’s been mentioned here saying hey are you a crossdresser to another crossdresser is bad as it indicates they aren’t passing but the reality is that we know the signs to look for and we see those signs without even thinking about it.
A couple of weeks ago I saw a transgender woman which my wife didn’t click onto. Then there’s the nightclub I go to, usually there’s at least one other crossdresser and interactions with other crossdressers range from polite smiles through to hugs and compliments.