The count is up to 14

[Deedee_tv]

I started coming out to my adult children then female friends and eventually male friends starting in 2015. It was slow at first but has picked up momentum in the last year. Not once has anybody done anything except scream with joy, give amazing and loving feedback, or been incredibly supportive. Mind you, I’ve picked my battles very carefully and only been open to those I truly trust but I kind of feel like I’ve lost any potential control of the situation. However, I’m not sure I care. The people I’ve come out to have been so amazing and they are really all I care about. I’m not out to any family except my female cousin who is a makeup artist and has helped me with makeovers. She is awesome. My hairdresser is awesome as are my lady friends. I could not have done this a few years ago when I was married and my kids were younger but now, I love my life. I get to wear whatever I want when I’m with my friends and they don’t care. It’s not an issue.

For those of you holding back, trust your instincts and share with those you trust. Chances are they will support you and you can live your best life.

Hugs,
Deedee

[RADER]

You are very fortunate, You have very understanding friends and Family.
I am afraid I do not. I have seen bad affects from another person who
Transition many years ago. The entire Family has shunned her.
Rader

[Eemz]

Yay that's great Deedee. I know what you mean about losing control of the situation. My own coming out has reached a point where people I haven't told obviously know and that is kind of scary. But it's also great. But starting to tell people was the best decision I ever made and I've never regretted it for one second.

I know that some people have had bad experiences with coming out and I do feel for them. But my experience has been like yours. I've lost count of the number of people who have hugged me in the past few months. I am taking it slow, dropping broad hints in my general appearance but not saying very much, except to select people when the time is right. So maybe that's something else we have in common.

Anyway - congrats and I'm so happy for you. E.

[Teresa]

Deedee,
Just keep doing what you are doing , it gets easier and easier , eventually the net ends up so wide very few appear to have a problem . In the process I have found out who my true friends are , I've found out more about my family since I've been out to them . We don't set out to upset anyone , we have to go through this process to try and be honest with ourselves . I have gained far more friends than I've lost, OK it's cost me my marriage but I know I couldn't have stayed in that situation much longer , I wasn't living , I was just existing !

I hope it gets to the stage when you can meet up with family , I've been out with my daughter and granddaughter which has been very special for me .

[GretchenM]

Deedee,

Sounds like you really have this coming out thing figured out. Your selection of those who you really trust is a wise path. It has worked out for me pretty well most of the time. But I did have a couple who I trusted and revealed to change from supportive to not so much. But I agree fully with your conclusion of trusting your instincts and share with those you trust. Sharing with those you trust is easier than approaching your instincts in a trusting way. We sometimes fool ourselves and trust what we feel when we shouldn't.

My suggestion to getting across those hurdles is once your instincts are telling you this or that person is OK to share with, let your conclusion sit for a little while and see if that instinct stays the same after some time. If it does and you feel you have been honest with yourself then move forward. But if there are hints of an instinct being tainted by rose colored glasses then hold back until you are sure. Mistakes can be costly. Hopefully, in time your instincts regarding your family will shift as they change along with the social changes around them. In my opinion, you have mastered the coming out and telling process. Hmmm, maybe time to write a book for the rest of us on how to do this without creating the disasters we often hear or read about?

Gretchen

[Angie G]

Glad it went so well for you Deedee. We all should be tat lucky wish we all could be.
Angie

[Tracii G]

Glad to hear all is well.

[kimdl93]

Patience is a virtue. My first coming out was driven by a degree of irrational exuberance. It didn’t turn out as I might have hoped. Your approach seems much more sound.

[alwayshave]

Deedee, I'm glad your friends have been so accepting.

[Beverley Sims]

Once you are out to a few people you do lose control, but, trusted friends are unlikely to talk a great deal about anything that may harm the relationship.