More familiar than I thought

[Petra Lynn]

I was out to a local consignment shop not too long ago, a couple days after purchasing a new wig. My most of my wigs are shoulder length or shorter. The new one has a nice curl to it and goes almost to the middle of my back. Back to the story, I’d been into this store a few times over the past couple years both en femme and drab. This particular day I was em femme wearing my new long wig. I found 2 tops on clearance went to checkout and was told by an associate who wasn’t even waiting on me said, I love the longer hair. I didn’t think I had been in there after enough to be remembered, but I did like the comment.

Lynn

[Micki_Finn]

As a long time retail worker I can tell you that many CDs don’t blend in as well as they think they do, and often really stand out from the usual clientele. Just more proof that just because nobody is saying anything doesn’t mean they don’t notice. This isn’t necessarily a BAD thing as the polite reaction is no reaction. It does give some girls a false sense of how well they blend in.

[Quietjenny]

I stick out like a sore thumb and get remembered. Ive been back to places months later and have been recognized. Not in a bad way at all though.

[EricaCD]

As a long time retail worker I can tell you that many CDs don’t blend in as well as they think they do, and often really stand out from the usual clientele. Just more proof that just because nobody is saying anything doesn’t mean they don’t notice. This isn’t necessarily a BAD thing as the polite reaction is no reaction. It does give some girls a false sense of how well they blend in.

Hi there! (And for those of you who were on this website back when dinosaurs walked the earth, HELLO! Now clear the cache on your Netscape Navigator 1.0 browser.)

I agree 100% with your basic theme. But I'm not so sure it should be phrased implicitly negatively. I am a semi-regular at a large number of places, some of which I only visit occasionally. (Heck, several of them are thousands of miles away!) And yes, I am remembered because I am visibly trans, really tall, and not easy to forget as a result. (I also tip really well.) But I don't think that says anything about blend-ability. I'd guess that if the PF Changs at Del Amo in LA periodically got a cisgender male guest who was 7'6" tall, they'd remember him as well! But that doesn't mean he's failing to blend in as a guy...

Now you are absolutely right: the people at these places might be laughing their asses off about me the minute I leave. But since I can't know that, I choose to assume that a sales associate, bartender, whomever that recognizes me from the last visit and seems happy to see me again is in fact happy to see me again.

And in the OP's case I love the fact that they noticed, and felt comfortable enough to mention, a change in OP's appearance. If they were really mocking or creeped out or whatever, why would they make a compliment?

Just a thought. On a somewhat more meta level, I am pleased to see that more and more threads on this forum are moving away from bullshit notions of passability and onto the more nuanced and interesting question of blend-ability.

~ E (cd.com class of 2008 or so)

[Teresa]

Micki,
The other way to look at it is you a really nice person and being TG makes no difference . I go out full time as Teresa if I'm totally accepted as a woman that's a lovely bonus .

Petra ,
Some people love long hair , it obviously makes you feel good maybe the SA was just picking up on that . It's difficult to say more than that as we don't know your age . I know long wig on me just doesn't work I'm too old for it to be plausable .

[Robertacd]

Frankly, we are and probably will always be unforgettable people for all of the reasons mentioned here.

[Rhonda Jean]

I agree with Micki, and I didn't think she worded it negatively. I imagine that in the places where I'm recognized it's because I'm the only (or one of a very few) cd they've ever seen. Often they go out of their way to be nice to me, or, like Micki said, they're politely quiet. I rarely get the sense that they're laughing behind my back, but I'm certain that it happens. Goes with the territory. I overheard a conversation about a week ago that was literally going on behind my back that I thought was enlightening. Not in a bad way, necessarily. Might have to start a thread.

[Jean 103]

It’s just part of life, some people notice everything, and others only see the big picture. Most are somewhere in-between.

I have had complete strangers say like “you always wear the cutest shoes”.

People do talk. I’m out and popular in my little world. I’ve been told that people talk about me, and it’s mostly good. It’s what I expect, I’m not perfect.

[Beverley Sims]

I get away with being friendly and chatty and I smile most of the time.

Especially when I make eye contact with other ladies. :-)

I think it helps. :-)

[t-girlxsophie]

Seems to be a lot of pointing and laughing in these stores,be better served if they just got on with their job

Sophie

[MonicaPVD]

As a long time retail worker I can tell you that many CDs don’t blend in as well as they think they do, and often really stand out from the usual clientele. Just more proof that just because nobody is saying anything doesn’t mean they don’t notice. This isn’t necessarily a BAD thing as the polite reaction is no reaction. It does give some girls a false sense of how well they blend in.

As a girl who spends a ton of time in public, I think that your words come across a bit negative. Presenting in public is not about fooling people into thinking that I'm a cis woman. It's about reaching a level of confidence that inspires those who interact with me to treat me like a woman. With dignity. I think I look great and present great but I have a rather masculine facial bone structure, along with big hands and feet, and that is something that I simply can't disguise. I am confident that everyone who takes a good look at me will see a CD or transwoman, and I'm cool with that. Because they will see a confident, attractive and outgoing CD who owns her space and knows she looks good. Guess what? I get treated accordingly every single time.

[Teresa]

Monica,
I have to agree with you , passing for want of a better word is like looking for Utopia , there are too many telltales . This is why I've dropped labels apart from my name , whatever Teresa means to people I'm treated very well because I'm OK with everyone .

[susan54]

I agree that most of us don't pass and that it rarely matters. Most of the people (women) I interact with have long known I am a man and the feedback is a mix, including male-female flirting. I get a lot of compliments on my outfits and some of them are spontaneous from strangers (also women). My beautician observed one day that I had had my hair cut and it suited me. I whispered "It's a different wig" in her ear and she burst out laughing. So you get treated partly as a man and partly as a woman - I have no problem with that.

[Mykaa]

I do mix my clothes etc. as to anyone noticing Im wearing something feminine Ive never had any comments, have gotten a look before, Ive never been out en femme. Ive been thinking lately again Id like to. Im glad you got a compliment, all anyone wants I think is to be accepted.