Kelly I think you are spot on and it makes alot of sense to have that feeling... Maybe its a "right" connection to your body..
Lots of women can have short hair, and be very masculine about it... lots of women are not feminine at all.. but that's completely irrelevant to us
its still their hair, their body, their sense of self .. rejecting social gender cues is not changing gender roles..
I think its fair to say wigs can be a rough go.
Anyone considering transition should take that into account.
They are uncomfortable and its a sad fact that many of them dont look so great, and its hard to make them look the same every day so that it really feels like your own hair... its pretty expensive to get good wigs..
One other thing is that taking it off isn't alot of fun when its meaningful to your gender identity. Like a daily reminder. sometimes taking the wig off made me cry.
in the end, you gotta do what you gotta do and make the best of it. If you need wigs, I think its well worth it to save up and get the best wig possible
to that end, I recommend avoiding human hair. the best synthetics are way more durable, easier to style, easier to clean and easier to make comfortable..
if you are on the east coast, I'd plug el dorado hair replacement center near Baltimore. they are fantastic and super supportive.