Very (Bleep)ing nervous

[Emma Beth]

Over the past several days I've been fine. Relaxed even.

But, now that I am less than 48 hours from my initial consult for GRS...

um...

I can't even begin to put into words just how nervous I am.

I've been trying to put myself at ease. I've been looking the Dr. up online. It doesn't seem to help me one single bit.

I have found out a lot I didn't know about him, but not what I want to know yet. Looks like I need to wait until I'm in the office with him to find out what I've been trying to look up.

I've only been able to find two reviews on his work. Both are five stars with absolutely no written review. This doesn't really mean that much, but it's not enough to calm my nerves. Simply because he does more than GRS. Those could be for any of the dozens of other procedures he does. At least they do show he is good at whatever those procedures were for and he possibly has a good bedside manner, which is important to me.

The LGBT Care Center I've started going to is excited to have him aboard. But I know very little about him at this time.

I won't be alone in the office with him, so I won't forget any questions I have for him. My Fiancee and her Mother will be with me.

My Fiancee's Mother will be a HUGE help. She does have a medical background and she can translate anything I need translated, as well as ask questions I might not think to ask.

My Fiancee will be there to hold my hand and give me the strength to "keep my lunch down", and not freeze up from the nerves.

I'm considering spending more time playing a video game than what is probably good for me to help with my nerves after I post this. Nothing like hunting machine monsters with a bow to chase your nerves away. Starting after I do some dishes and prep the Fajita style Chicken Taco's I plan for dinner tonight.

I have been nervous a time or two in my life.

But this! All those times are nothing compared to this.

All the baby steps I have taken since 2011 are about to really take a big change for the better. At last, the human being inside this shell is finally going to see the sky and feel the sun on her face.






At least that is my hope.

[Nigella]

If you wasn't nervous then I would be worried, you are taking steps to make an irreversible change, which not matter how you look at it, will change your life forever.

You are stepping into the unknown, leaving behind what you have built up, whether you wanted to or not, that is leaving your comfort zone, even if that zone was uncomfortable, it is/was familiar to you.

It's good you have someone with you, discuss before hand what you want to ask, hopefully between the three of you most, if not all, will be asked.

Best Wishes

[Teresa]

Emma,
For the first man to take footsteps on the moon , he knew or hoped he would be coming back ! You are about to take steps you can't come back from, I applaud you !

I sometimes wonder if we have too much information at out fingertips , the internet can tell you so much both good and bad , we don't know whether to trust every word or take it all with a pinch of salt . The great thing is you have some wonderful support , the surgeon has to convince three minds not one , it must be tough for those going it alone . I guess it's up to you to take it at your speed , it's your body and no one elses , nothing else in life comes close to this decision , I'm sure you'll make the right one .

[Devi SM]

I think that is an amazing opportunity that ot many have.
Now, I think that would be helpful for you to review what are your nerves about: scary for the possible pain or risks if the surgery? Not sure about the radicality of it? If the results will be satisfactory? I'm on my sixth year now. I don't know your age but I've learned that most of the time our fears and concerns never really happen.
It's understandable to have nerves, anxious is ok but try to control it to a reasonable level because excess is dangerous for your health.

[Emma Beth]

It's really happening!

I haven't set the date just yet. I'm working out the details so that my Family can fly up and be here for the surgery. I could have managed to have it done in June or July. But we need more time than that to have everything here at the house ready. So, I'm looking at having it done at the end of September.

This Doctor is great. He was VERY thorough as he explained what to expect and what he does.

Yeah, he is fairly new. But He has been well trained and he does know what he's doing. Having done my research, I can say this about him at this point.

He has been directly involved with at least 80 of these surgeries during his fellowship and at least two since he started his new practice here on Long Island.

I'm looking at spending at least one week in the hospital after the surgery and I feel comfortable enough with him.

The reason it has taken me so long to respond is because after my appointment I was in a bit of a daze and walking around in a dream for the rest of the day.