Over the past several days I've been fine. Relaxed even.
But, now that I am less than 48 hours from my initial consult for GRS...
um...
I can't even begin to put into words just how nervous I am.
I've been trying to put myself at ease. I've been looking the Dr. up online. It doesn't seem to help me one single bit.
I have found out a lot I didn't know about him, but not what I want to know yet. Looks like I need to wait until I'm in the office with him to find out what I've been trying to look up.
I've only been able to find two reviews on his work. Both are five stars with absolutely no written review. This doesn't really mean that much, but it's not enough to calm my nerves. Simply because he does more than GRS. Those could be for any of the dozens of other procedures he does. At least they do show he is good at whatever those procedures were for and he possibly has a good bedside manner, which is important to me.
The LGBT Care Center I've started going to is excited to have him aboard. But I know very little about him at this time.
I won't be alone in the office with him, so I won't forget any questions I have for him. My Fiancee and her Mother will be with me.
My Fiancee's Mother will be a HUGE help. She does have a medical background and she can translate anything I need translated, as well as ask questions I might not think to ask.
My Fiancee will be there to hold my hand and give me the strength to "keep my lunch down", and not freeze up from the nerves.
I'm considering spending more time playing a video game than what is probably good for me to help with my nerves after I post this. Nothing like hunting machine monsters with a bow to chase your nerves away. Starting after I do some dishes and prep the Fajita style Chicken Taco's I plan for dinner tonight.
I have been nervous a time or two in my life.
But this! All those times are nothing compared to this.
All the baby steps I have taken since 2011 are about to really take a big change for the better. At last, the human being inside this shell is finally going to see the sky and feel the sun on her face.
At least that is my hope.