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Thread: Adult vs youth

  1. #1
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Adult vs youth

    Is it me or is being an older trans gendered woman almost impossible to find ressources... there seems to be all kind of resources if you are a kid or a younger adult till about the age of 26 but them it seems like you are on your own. local cégeps (before university) even have support groups in the cégeps.

    In my case living in an francophone province in Canada and trying to find LOCAL ressources in English HOLLY COW exhausting. the last Psychiatrist I got to see (4 months waiting list) was "frenglish but in reality mostly french and then after about 30 min advised me she couldn't help me and that she was referring me to a program at a local University where I am now on another waiting list (depending on priority)...

    Local LGBTQ group is help in the same place as clean injection site so I don't fit in there.....

    UGGGGGGGGGGGG

    sorry needed to vent

  2. #2
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    if you add in how more accepting the younger generation is socially about our demographic, yes, it can be galling to see how much easier for them, but a softer generation is more sensitive to its own pain, and relatively, they won't get it!

    feel it though; nothing local for me!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  3. #3
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Must be the same everywhere! Canada, England, USA! Nothing in the way of help here in North Carolina! Like has been said, youth and teens! There are some support groups that I am going to check out one of these days that the pastor at my(LGBTQ+ friendly) church suggested! The church has one too but things just have not worked out for me to attend yet! Of course, I am in NC the bathroom state! LOL Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Lisa,
    I guess I'm lucky in my neck of the woods here in the UK . I've never had a problem with GP support or counsellors , I attend 3 social groups and could easliy attend another three . The LGBTQ groups support the local colleges and universities and we have been invited to talk to students during their pride events .
    The real me ,no going back.

  5. #5
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    I don't know if I should be happy or sad that it seems to be a lot more wide spread than I thought... my Family doctor is great about it but admits he doesn't know much about it but is willing to learn... does that mean I get him to sit in a waiting room then click his card!!!!
    I thanks you all for your responses... feeling ah who am I kidding... feeling the same as I was before!!!

  6. #6
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Put it this way Lisa! We, our generation, of TS/NB/TG/Crossdressers opened the way for our children and teens to be able to get that help! I am sorry that the help is not there for the adults but glad it is now there for our youth! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  7. #7
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Hey Lana Mae,
    Oh I hear you their life seems to be so much easier then ours ever was and I am happy for them just wish someone would realize we need help also.... I so need someone to talk

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Lisa,
    My GP didn't do that , he recognised his lack of knowledge and referred me to counselling , OK we we have the bonus in the UK of the NHS so it cost me nothing . Would I have paid ? That's hard to answer as I was on my own , my wife took no interest in it at all , she was just hoping for a cure !

    Sore point about the younger ones having it easier , aside from TG issues we do too much for them at times and still some want more !
    Last edited by Teresa; 03-12-2019 at 08:33 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  9. #9
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Hey Teresa,
    A cure... ya I'm still looking for one myself!!! kids today, wow what can I say... I have 3 myself and have a really hard time with their attitudes...every thing is owed to them and they deserve everything without actually earning everything and yet we give them more... I can only wish to have been born in this day and age holly cow would things be different.

    I was seeing a Psychotherapist but due to change in insurance she is no longer covered so now I need to see a Psychiatrist (covered by health care) so Dr refereed me to one.... (4 months later) after 30 min session she said she couldn't help me and refereed me to the "music" program at a local hospital (McGill University Sexual Identity Clinic) I faxed them over the referral from the first one which they received but now I am on another waiting list with has a "priority access" so I figure I should be seen in 2035.

  10. #10
    Member Sara Olivia's Avatar
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    Hi Lisa,
    I live in BC and can relate to the challenges in finding the right people and being stuck on waitlists. Been there and done that and still doing it. I could have given you a list of names if you were in BC but in Montreal I am not able to help in that regard. Finding a psychologist with any knowledge of transgender issues was virtually impossible here in Victoria where I live. Also I had to pay for the sessions out of my own pockets as only a registered psychiatrist would have been covered. In my case, having dealt with being transgender my entire life I did not spend much time with counselling as I'd already figured out exactly where I knew I was and where I needed to be going. Of course, I still couldn't go to my family doctor and tell him that I was ready to transition. There is a very distinct protocol to make all that happen. But its slow. Here, however, are the hurdles that you have to jump through in order to get HRT if that is your objective. Make some calls and find a psychologist who is certified/qualified to do hormone readiness assessments. When you do it will typically take about three one hour appointments to assess where you are at. If there are no issues and that psychologist is convinced that HRT is a good next step for you he/she will write you a letter and send it to your family doctor. You should receive a copy as well. At this point your family doctor will refer you to an endocrinologist who after doing some blood work on you and making sure its safe will prescribe you hormones and will monitor you on a regular basis from that point forward. It took me from the fall of 2015 to June of 2016 to make that happen and have that first prescription of testosterone blocker and female hormones.

  11. #11
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Hi Sara,
    I hear you about paying for the Psychotherapist I did it for about 4 years but lucky my insurance covered 80%... this has now changed and only a Psychiatrist is covered lucky for me she did give me a letter to which I went to my GP and got referral to Endo..had the blood work done and have started, stopped started stopped (you get the pictures) the hormones and blockers, thus the reason I'm back to looking for resources like a Psychiatrist to help me deal with this dysphoria that comes and goes.

    Just to make things worse as you know Montreal has the only clinic in Canada specializing in SRS..my job as a project manager put in in this clinic where I saw multiple girls coming out as their REAL selves so I was in the mouth of the dragon but couldn't do anything about it!!!

  12. #12
    Senior Member Bria's Avatar
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    Iisalove, if you can do Skype, there is a therapist in Kansas City that has 20 years experience in gender therapy. Call 816-305-0953 o check it out, or pm me.
    Last edited by Nigella; 03-14-2019 at 11:37 AM. Reason: Link not working

  13. #13
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Hi Bria.... thanks I'll check it out.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Bria's Avatar
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    I typed the phone number wrong the correct number is 816-305-0943

  15. #15
    Member Sara Olivia's Avatar
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    Hi Lisa,
    I did know about Montreal being the only place offering the GRS surgery, in fact I am on their waiting list as we speak though it will likely be early next year before my turn finally arrives. It would be awful to, as you say, see women come and go as their real selves and feeling like you are always on the outside looking in. I would also find that very difficult to deal with. I do sincerely hope that you find all the answers and support that you are looking for.

  16. #16
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Thank you so much Sara... and when in Montreal let me know maybe I can stop in and say hello... good luck and hope you get the call soon.

    And not to worry the network cabling was done by professionals

  17. #17
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    It was just the opposite 20 years ago. There were support groups in most major cities, and the vast majority of folks there were over 40. I was a college kid and couldn't find anyone my own age. Now that I am over 40, young trans people are far more visible (though my local group is still 50% over 40.)

    Sadly, since the early 2000s the number of trans support groups has fallen dramatically.

  18. #18
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    As has been said the younger do have it easier and great for them. They deserve it. Many, many more others way before us started the ball rolling. We actually have it much better than them! I think that I would contact that GRS surgeon's office in Montreal and start asking a lot of questions to try to network into a bilingual psychiatrist that can help you. They do hundreds of surgeries every year and must have a deep file of local ones that you can call and maybe find a shorter waiting list. I would also call your insurance provider and do the same thing. If necessary go to their offices and see what happens. Waiting all that time for nothing is not good at all. I would be professionally persistent until you get a few names and phone numbers. Good luck.

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