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Thread: When did you know?

  1. #1
    Member shellybme's Avatar
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    When did you know?

    When did you know you are not just a cross-dresser and wanted to be a woman? I go back and forth all the time. I guess if i have doubts I am not ready or its not for me. All of you are super strong and brave for being who you are meant to be. I just don't know what that is for me.
    "Girls of all kinds can be beautiful-from the thin, plus sized, short, very tall, ebony to porcelain-skinned; the quirky, clumsy, shy, outgoing and all in between. It's not easy though because many people still put beauty into a confining, narrow box...Think outside of the box...Pleadge that you will look in the mirror and find the unique beauty in you." Tyra Banks

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    For me, it was when I realized that when I was going out in public, it wasn't some sort of fetish, or merely liking a particular kind of clothes, but rather that the driving influence on my enjoying going out in public as a woman was being seen and accepted as a woman. It just felt right! And it felt personally validating. It didn't matter if I was just getting groceries at the store, and some random passer-by addressed me properly as miss or ma'am, or if some stranger complemented my nails, or even if no one spoke to me at all, but I was permitted to shop for women's things without someone questioning why I was in the women's department or changing rooms. It was when I realized cisgender female friends clearly thought of me as a woman, and were not just being polite and socially correct in addressing me. And the final kicker was when I realized I decidedly preferred interacting socially as a woman.

  3. #3
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    A rose takes its time to open, depending upon many factors do with with the weather and local soil. It took me a very long time to realise i needed to CD, and then only 9 months to realise my inner trans nature. Some of us have repressed our true feelings or knowings so much, and it takes time to all come out. no need to rush, let the sun and the rain help you discover how you blossom best.
    xxx
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  4. #4
    Aviatrix in Waiting Melanie Moxon's Avatar
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    Deep down I have always known that something wasn't quite aligned in my core being but it took years for me to figure out what it was. I always felt I should be a girl but I didn't like traditionally girly things like playing with dolls, playing mums and dads, but at the same time I didn't like traditionally boys sports like football (soccer to those of you across the pond) nor the rough and tumble of boyish games. I was happy learning all I could about aviation and building and making things and of course if I wanted to be a girl why did I 'like' them, after all boys like girls and vice versa (even in the 80's the notion of being a "lesbo" or a "poofta" was grounds for ridicule). Nor did I want a traditionally female job, until my eyesight ruled me out all I wanted to do was join the RAF or RN and be a Harrier pilot and following that disappointment a commercial pilot (9/11 saw that ambition curtailed before I left 6th form) not roles that were traditionally "marketed" at girls.

    Of course the advent of the internet in the late 90's meant that I was able to get information and figure myself out. I nearly pushed the T-button in the early 2000's but fear pushed me back in the closet and there I stayed until 2017 when I decided enough was enough and decided to tackle it head on which has culminated in my transition plan which has been burbling along in the background goes live in 29 days.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Vanessa Grandy's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say when I knew because it was a transition on knowledge, feelings etc. but when I decide to get into HRT was the day I was convinced and aware that was something I needed and could help me with dysphoria, so may be a year and a half ago. Before than that is when I realized that dressing wasn't enough and this wasn't aabout dress. Today I can live dress in Male and doesn't affect me like before HRT.
    It's me, Vanessa, in the core just a sensitive woman with a strong male appearance...hold down, that strong male appearance is changing. Now guys double look at me, once, one blink me an.eye...
    Kisses,
    Nessa

  6. #6
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I was in the dark until I turned 65 and my wife had passed away! That is another story! Decided to see my feminine side and got a professional transformation! There was Lana Mae staring back at me from the mirror! That was CD level! I went out a few times dressed and realized that there was more to it! Thanks to the girls here I realized what was going on with me! Gender dysphoria and Oh, so bad! Enter my counselor and she confirmed my thoughts! And here I am on HT! Letting the journey take me where ever it may! Happy and content for now but I am sure there is more ahead! Waiting until a year of HT and then reevaluate! Hope this helps! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  7. #7
    Gold Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Shellybme,
    I found it to happened in small stages , I'm still not sure if I've arrived yet but when I separated just over a year ago I made the decision to go out as Teresa . Within a short time it didn't feel like crossdressing anymore , I felt more comfortable and happy . The obstacles and fears just evaporated away , I feel more normal in female mode than I do in male .

    My GP asked how I was doing and told her fine , my most common comment is , " You are so brave !" She replied that she didn't like that comment as it suggests we are doing something out of the ordinary and being TG is now perfectly acceptable .
    The real me ,no going back.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ceera View Post
    For me, it was when I realized that when I was going out in public, it wasn't some sort of fetish, or merely liking a particular kind of clothes, but rather that the driving influence on my enjoying going out in public as a woman was being seen and accepted as a woman. It just felt right!
    That was it for me as well. It took a several weeks of therapy before I used the word "transsexual" in reference to myself, but from that point on, everything started making a lot more sense. Counseling doesn't provide answers, but it will help you ask the right questions.
    Well, somebody has to make up that base of the bell curve that defines "normal".
    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

  9. #9
    Member Lisalove1976's Avatar
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    Hi Shellybme,
    I guess I am on the same boat as you... I haven't figures it out yet, I do know that I'm much more than a cross dresser but I also know that I have NO IDEA how to be a woman. I can take a picture and look like a "passable" woman but I am smart enough to know that I have no knowledge of what if takes to be a full time woman. I guess it's would be like waking up from a coma at age 49 and having to learn every thing

  10. #10
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    To me it was when the feeling of misery leaving the house dressed and present myself as male became much stronger than the feeling of happiness changing quietly at home. To speak in medical terms, my gender dysphoria became too strong to not do something about it.

  11. #11
    Member Anne K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ceera View Post
    For me, it was when I realized that when I was going out in public, it wasn't some sort of fetish, or merely liking a particular kind of clothes, but rather that the driving influence on my enjoying going out in public as a woman was being seen and accepted as a woman. It just felt right! And it felt personally validating. It didn't matter if I was just getting groceries at the store, and some random passer-by addressed me properly as miss or ma'am, or if some stranger complemented my nails, or even if no one spoke to me at all, but I was permitted to shop for women's things without someone questioning why I was in the women's department or changing rooms. It was when I realized cisgender female friends clearly thought of me as a woman, and were not just being polite and socially correct in addressing me. And the final kicker was when I realized I decidedly preferred interacting socially as a woman.
    Exactly how i felt when i realized my path.

  12. #12
    Member Sara Olivia's Avatar
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    Literally my entire life (from about the age of four maybe five). However, it took me nearly fifty years to find the courage to finally pursue what I'd known since early childhood.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member OCCarly's Avatar
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    When I was five. I made three attempts at transition prior to this one, at 19, 26 and 35. I pretty much always knew. I kept burying it after each failed transition, but it kept coming back.

    I’m a girl, plain and simple.
    Carries a spray bottle of "pink fog" around with her in her purse at all times.

  14. #14
    Member Dorit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Olivia View Post
    Literally my entire life (from about the age of four maybe five). However, it took me nearly fifty years to find the courage to finally pursue what I'd known since early childhood.
    I can almost say the same, except it took me 50 years to overcome my internalized non-acceptance of being born a transgender child. I thought I was a pervert or deviant. It also took that long for psychology and medicine to understand people like me. Once all this came together my transition went quickly.

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