I hope I can make some open and honest observations about my personal needs of hormones , I'm not trying to dodge the issue or make excuses .
Firstly I'm not going to say I'm too old at 67 as I know some start later in life than this . I'm sure most know now that I separated a year last February from my wife after 44 years of marriage . I moved 20 miles away to set up my new home, all this happened because my wife couldn't live with my TG issues and I couldn't live without them . The move gave me the chance to dress full time as Teresa , please don't give me a hard time over this but it falls short of that ideal . Firstly I chose to walk my dog first thing in the morning simply to avoid messing up my makeup and hair/wig while the weather isn't good , if I do a second walk later in the day it's as Teresa . All other apects of my life are lived as Teresa in my new town without exception . I still attend my art group in my old town in male mode although I'm working to change that, I also have to respect my mother's wishes now she's almost 90 that she prefers to see the son she gave birth to, although she knows all the other facts . I haven't seen my wife since last October but it would still have to be in male mode . My daughter fully accepts me and we have been out several times but this is not the case with my son . All our joint friends know about me and some have seen me in reality others have only seen my pictures . My sister in law has met me several times for coffee in the town she's perfectly happy but hasn't breathed a word to my wife . Finally I have had general counselling twice and gender counselling which was cut short through NHS budget cuts .
I have written this history simply because personally I feel it would be wrong to consider changing my life through hormones unless I was comfortably fulltime . I'm far happier now so I then also question would hormones make any difference to my day to day lifestyle , to me they are a stepping stone to full transition . If I comfortably presented 100% as Teresa what more would I achieve with GRS .
There is another aspect to this question , I do not claim to pass 100% but my friends keep urging me to continue as they feel I'm a natural to transition . My new GP is as supportive as my previous one and again she said I would have no problem with starting me on hormones , I only have to ask .
I feel a touch guilty in writing this as so many members on the forum tell stories of how hard it is to procede and how much it may cost and I appear to have it offered on a plate .
I wouldn't dabble with hormones because it's not something to take lightly , I know they affect people in different ways , there are some aspects I would love to change but I live alone now so there could be aspects I might not want to lose .
Somehow I feel life is as good as it gets right now , no one lives a perfect one ! Maybe I should be content with what I have .