Results 1 to 23 of 23

Thread: One last post

  1. #1

    One last post

    I used to post here a while back, and I'm making a short bittersweet return after some years. I haven't posted at all lately, but Crossdressers.com was one of the first crossdressing sites I regularly visited, so it felt natural that I would return to post here.

    I'm incredibly excited to tell you that my wife and I are expecting a baby in a few months. After spending so many years exploring my feminine side, I can't wait to welcome a new girl into our family and help her discover the world for herself.

    It's bittersweet, because while I'm planning on spending as much time and energy as I can raising her, I won't have nearly as much time for crossdressing. While there will always be a feminine side of me, I can't see myself going out shopping, watching shows, or dancing on a regular basis. But I'm content with that.

    One day when I was in university, I went to the mall dressed in a pink tank top and a miniskirt, and tried on some gorgeous evening gowns. I felt like a princess, and I thought that it surely was the most exciting thing I'd ever do while crossdressed. I couldn't have been more mistaken. Over the next decade, I had an sequence of one 'first time' after another. I went to dinners, concerts, musicals, and shows, and I traveled by train, boat, and plane to places around the world. I did girly things, like going for a mani/pedi, an ear piercing, a leg wax, a makeover, and a photoshoot. I ran, biked, and swam. I went to school and work. I practiced my voice, and I eventually felt confident enough to make friends. I went to Paint Nite, joined a dance team, and went out for social events, without anyone appearing to suspect that I hadn't been born female. I think I can honestly say that I've checked off every item on my bucket list.

    I have a question for all of you. Before my little one arrives, I think I'll have the chance to go out once or twice more. I'm not going to purge, but I'm pretty certain that my priorities will be changing. If you knew that tomorrow would be the last time you went out crossdressed, what would you do? Dinner and a show? A makeover and photoshoot? Shopping - or at least, trying on clothes?

    I've been so inspired by all of you on this site. Your stories, from cautiously sneaking out the door in a dress for the first time to partying it up in a Vegas nightclub, have encouraged me to live life to its fullest. Thank you for sharing your selves, and keep being you!

    Love,

    Andrea

  2. #2
    Member Trione's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Central Tx
    Posts
    149
    Congrads on the baby. While you might not dress as often you will still fine time to enjoy your fem side. Get the little lady and have a girls weekend for your final bash.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Location
    Virginia USA
    Posts
    1,716
    Andrea, Congrats on your new baby coming soon. It will definitely change your life but your feminine side will not go away. You can try and suppress it and that may work for a while but the need to dress will come back. Put your things in storage and do not ever consider purging them.
    Good luck with everything and get ready for the new chapter in your life.
    Crissy

  4. #4
    Member Lux's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Con mi amor
    Posts
    121
    Assuming your wife is fully supportive of your cross dressing, I think if you make the effort to give your wife a day off and take care of your daughter, why couldn’t you get a ‘night off’ yourself once a month? Then you can take your fem things in a suitcase to a local motel, get dressed, go out and be back early the next morning to help out. Or something similar that works for the two of you. Good luck

  5. #5
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    3,955
    Congratulations, Andrea! That's wonderful news!

    That said, clearly you are astute enough to know that your crossdressing urges will never go away, so it is a wise choice that you have made not to purge. That is just an exercise in futility because while we may be able to subordinate (and put on "hold") our need to crossdress from time to time when "real life" gets in the way and our priorities shift - as is the case for you now with the little one on the way - the need always comes back eventually.

    I think the bigger issue now will be how your wife's acceptance (support?) of your crossdressing might change now that a child will be entering into the picture, and more importantly - if you do continue to crossdress in the future, can you do it openly and will your wife be amenable to revealing this side of you to your daughter when she reaches an age when this might be appropriate?

    Alternatively, will your wife's stance be that she will want to shield your daughter from this completely and drive your crossdressing deep into the closet while she is still a child and living at home? If so, you may well find this very frustrating given your total freedom to crossdress at will so far with your wife's full knowledge and her acceptance of this need of yours.

    Either way, having a child now will be a life-altering experience, and there will be some downsides eventually despite your overall embrace of the prospect of fatherhood ("motherhood"? ) at this time. Best to be prepared for this and enter the new reality with eyes wide open.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    6,678
    Congrats on the babe on the way! I mostly agree with what Leslie said! As far as a last stand before the birth, go get a transformation and you and the wife go to a show and a meal together! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
    Posts
    74
    Andrea, congrats to soon-to-be all three of you! Congrats as well on your ability to have enjoyed so many things that many of us will only dream about. Your comment on the support here for all of us on our journeys is also spot on, I've found so much comfort here and am slowly gaining the confidence to go be Jamie as much as I can fit into an otherwise great life. In the past year I've grown so much more comfortable and adventurous but still have some limitations, all self imposed but still significant.

    If I had to pick one activity, it would likely be shopping, not sure why but something I definitely try to avoid as my non-Jamie self!


    Quote Originally Posted by andreaellen1 View Post
    I used to post here a while back, and I'm making a short bittersweet return after some years. I haven't posted at all lately, but Crossdressers.com was one of the first crossdressing sites I regularly visited, so it felt natural that I would return to post here.

    I'm incredibly excited to tell you that my wife and I are expecting a baby in a few months. After spending so many years exploring my feminine side, I can't wait to welcome a new girl into our family and help her discover the world for herself.

    It's bittersweet, because while I'm planning on spending as much time and energy as I can raising her, I won't have nearly as much time for crossdressing. While there will always be a feminine side of me, I can't see myself going out shopping, watching shows, or dancing on a regular basis. But I'm content with that.

    One day when I was in university, I went to the mall dressed in a pink tank top and a miniskirt, and tried on some gorgeous evening gowns. I felt like a princess, and I thought that it surely was the most exciting thing I'd ever do while crossdressed. I couldn't have been more mistaken. Over the next decade, I had an sequence of one 'first time' after another. I went to dinners, concerts, musicals, and shows, and I traveled by train, boat, and plane to places around the world. I did girly things, like going for a mani/pedi, an ear piercing, a leg wax, a makeover, and a photoshoot. I ran, biked, and swam. I went to school and work. I practiced my voice, and I eventually felt confident enough to make friends. I went to Paint Nite, joined a dance team, and went out for social events, without anyone appearing to suspect that I hadn't been born female. I think I can honestly say that I've checked off every item on my bucket list.

    I have a question for all of you. Before my little one arrives, I think I'll have the chance to go out once or twice more. I'm not going to purge, but I'm pretty certain that my priorities will be changing. If you knew that tomorrow would be the last time you went out crossdressed, what would you do? Dinner and a show? A makeover and photoshoot? Shopping - or at least, trying on clothes?

    I've been so inspired by all of you on this site. Your stories, from cautiously sneaking out the door in a dress for the first time to partying it up in a Vegas nightclub, have encouraged me to live life to its fullest. Thank you for sharing your selves, and keep being you!

    Love,

    Andrea

  8. #8
    Señora Member Robertacd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Bellingham, Wa
    Posts
    2,661
    Having raised a family, I can say that sure your priorities will change but you will be surprised how much dressing you can still do.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    East Texas for Now
    Posts
    19,733
    Yes, congratulations on the baby. It's true, your priorities and sleep habits are about to change dramatically. To your question, if I were to never present as a woman again, I'd most likely want to spend the entire day with my GG friends, doing the things I wouldn't be able to enjoy in the future.
    Finding my way to a real life!

  10. #10
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    5,499
    Andrea, Congratulations on the birth of your child. You're going have to concentrate on your child, but at some point you will have a day to yourself, take full advantage.
    Last edited by alwayshave; 03-16-2019 at 04:25 PM.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  11. #11
    Junior Member JennykBailey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    Hertfordshire
    Posts
    74
    Wow congratulations. Making little humans becomes a bit of a habit (we have five lol). Enjoy every moment because the year go much faster x

  12. #12
    Gold Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    9,455
    Andrea,
    I wish you all the best for the addition to the family I hope it goes well for your wife and you don't get too many sleepless nights .

    OK the question of CDing and children , it would be stupid to say a child won't affect your life , I can't believe how something so small can turn everyone's life upside down . How can somthing that size need so much stuff ?
    Do you have to stop dressing ? well not really but it may restrict it , I guess it depends how you wife /partner feels about you continuing , assuming she knows . I still managed to dress right through my children growing up but then I was deeply in the closet then . It is so wonderful now that I can go out as Teresa with my daughter and granddaughter and I never dreamed in a million years that would happen . Who knows you may be telling the same story yourself one day .

    I would still think you will be able to make some outings , while having children is wonderful you do still have a life of your own , you need to find that balance for your own peace of mind .
    The real me ,no going back.

  13. #13
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    San Francisco Area
    Posts
    10,942
    What to do as a "Last Hurrah"? If you have checked everything off your bucket list, I would recommend repeating one of more of those moments that you think will give you he greatest satisfaction, like a trip to a different location, nice formal dinner, a live show and wine afterward. Something that you can make a little longer than necessary. Congratulations and good luck with the future growing family.

  14. #14
    Gold Member Maria in heels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    NY & PA
    Posts
    9,465
    Andrea...congratulations to you and your wife for having a little girl and when she comes, it will be something that takes up much of your time, but Andrea can definitely e around, almost everyday if she chooses for the first year. I know that with all of my boys, rushing to the crib at 1 am was always done in a pair of my high heels and by your description of places and things that you have done, it sounds like your wife is very supportive. Being yourself is something that you just can't throw away .... Andrea may go on an extended vacation from time to time and who knows what the next 20+ years is going to bring. Enjoy every minute and before you know it, you blink your eyes and she will be walking and talking!
    A new link to a sample of my shoe collection

    http://s1208.photobucket.com/albums/cc376/Mariainheels/

  15. #15
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    7,362
    Andrea we will keep being us on here you can count on that. I remember my first new born little baby girl and the other three that followed. I was living in the house filled to the brim with estrogen, diapers, baby girl dresses, first dates with boys, till they all grew up and found each one a long legged boy that I now think is ok for each of them. I taught them how to enjoy life, they've all cried on my shoulder many times when they broke up with a boyfriend. I love them today and have some beautiful grandkids and the daughters are raising them right.
    Now your life will be changed forever but as I read your words I think you have all proities in line and will do a wonderful job raising her. Good luck, have fun with her, cry with her, but remember raise her right and she'll love you for it later. By the way the teen years are the toughest but hang in there.. Lol. Congratulations.

  16. #16
    Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    471
    Andrea,

    Congratulations. It is an amazing experience. If you have a chance to be there for the delivery, take it. It creates an instant bond that will carry forward for the rest of your life. I did it both ways; being there is far better. An adventure you will never forget.

    As others have said, your feminine needs will continue, but at first they may seem to completely disappear as you become so deeply involved in that which you and your wife made. That is perfectly OK if that happens. Later when the intense responsibility of a baby, a toddler, and seeing her off to her first day of school (you may cry) those dressing needs will likely return. It is a part of who you are. Until then if there are no urges please don't be concerned - your girl side will be enjoying the new experiences just as much as you. You just may not sense her presence. It may just be an identity, but that identity is very real and it is not just about the gender expression in the form of clothes and the like. That expression may take on many other forms. You may find that you sense not just being a dad to her, but you may find you have many of the same feelings you wife has about the new toy in your lives and you may find you duplicate some of the motherly things you wife does. If that appears it is likely the girl side of you expressing herself in an entirely new way. Don't resist it; embrace it. Andrea has feelings and she needs to be involved and allowed to be a part of your total experience.

    Again, congratulations.

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    hillsboro oregon
    Posts
    1,059
    Congratulations, you will really enjoy your bundle of joy,
    like others have said don't throw any thing away, you will be dressing still and when the little 1 goes to sleep you will find your self wanting to dress again.
    when I had little ones it dressing slowed but never went away

  18. #18
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there
    Posts
    19,501
    Congrats on becoming a parent.
    It will change everything in your life trust me.
    Daughters are great and a PITA too as they grow up but thats how life is.
    Everything you think you know about kids well that goes out the window when you have your own.
    One tip I can give as they are growing up do not try and be their "best friend" be the parent and be firm don't give in to them. Be understanding but stern.
    The best friend thing comes later in life after they are adult enough to figure it out on their own.It means much more at that time.
    Both my Daughters are adults with their own families so I get to watch them raise their kids.LOL
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Posts
    33,935
    Hi Andrea , Congratulations, That will be wonderful experience for both of you,
    My two little girls are now 52 & 50 and one 24 year Granddaughter,I wouldn't change a thing.

    Looking at your profile I am guessing that you re now 39 and you sure have
    had a fantastic adventure with Dressing and all of the different great times that you have had.

    I have been in this program for 72years and never shared it with my daughters, >Orchid ..OO..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    29,721
    Andrea,

    Go out for a lunch date, children will occupy your time but it is not the end.

    Enjoy raising children in the meantime and we will see you at a later date.

    So don't forget your password. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    San Francisco Peninsula
    Posts
    1,347
    Exciting and thrilling adventure ahead! We had one daughter, now 35, and raising children to be adults is an amazing and wonderful replay of our own growing up, trying to do it better.

    Maybe go out and be an expectant mom - buying baby things- clothes for her as she gets older- we received an outfit that was two years too old for our baby daughter and actually had fun hanging it on her wall as she grew into it.

    And maybe embrace the conscious change by morphing into dad- as a twenty year role ahead- converting your presentation one day at a time slowly, and feeling the choice as positive- making it easier to raise her in the world we are in. You didn't mention your wife, but at least there is an important opportunity here to talk over what she expects for her girl- how she wants to navigate the gender expectations that will be positive and negative for females- and maybe it will make sense to be a modern fluid gender household.
    We are all beautiful...!

  22. #22
    New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    England
    Posts
    16
    Tracie G's advice is such wise counselling and something that maybe one day you will be able to pass on. I wish you well, sometimes sacrifices have to be made, but love will conquer all.

  23. #23
    Living in Kandi's Land Kandi Robbins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Kandi's Land
    Posts
    1,834
    I'd go shopping for whatever was needed for the baby as my final time in this circumstance.

    I admire your dedication to the little one. As an elderly person who help raise two girls, buckle up, you are in for a wild and wonderful ride!
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

    Google "Kandi’s Land" and visit my blog for positive and uplifting posts!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State