Why boobs?

[Ronnie38]

My wife asked me this question a while ago and the only answer I can still think of is "they make me feel pretty". A little back story. My wife has known of my dressing for about ten years now. I told her a month after we started becoming serious. We have had our ups and downs since then. About five months ago, I lost my dad to a heart attack. It hurt a lot, but caused a lot of inward thinking, self reflection, and what ever else you choose to call it. It also caused me to reflect on my crossdressing hobby a lot more as he was the biggest reason for my guilt, shame, and hiding who and what I am. When I came out to my wife I answered a lot of questions with the typical "I dont know". I have recently replaced a lot of those answers. Why do I like girls\womens clothes? Variety. Fit. Feel. Fabrics, Colors. Girls clothes are more fun. I like to feel pretty. I see so many girls daily in so many different outfits and envy and jealousy come into play. Why can't I wear that? Why shouldnt I enjoy the frills and color and glamour? Hair. So many styles and colors and its all so pretty. I like pretty hair and I like to feel pretty so why not? Makeup? well, as frustrating as it is to put it on and get it to match and look right, I still think its fun and wonderful. I see so many girls out in the real world with just gorgeous makeup and get jealous. I want my eyes and face to look that pretty too. Shaving my legs? Leg hair is gross. I love the look of smooth legs and love my own legs when they are shaved and lotioned. Am I gay? Well thats a bit confusing, I am bisexual but at this point in life it dosnt matter as I am married and have found the person I want to spend my life with. No, Im not gay. Im Married. So, why the boobs? Well, I have come to realise that a lot of my crossdressing desires and preferences come from what I find attractive on females. I think well proportioned breasts are very attractive and very pretty, especially with the right top or outfit. For me, I dress for myself, what makes me feel pretty. I feel much more pretty with my modest breasts than I do without them. My tops feel better. My bras feel sexier. My dresses feel cuter. Over all, I just desire to feel pretty like the pretty girls I see around me in the world. And why shouldnt I? Why should girls have all the fun? Maybe Im wrong to think like this but I do. I have my whole life. No matter what I do or how much I try to run away and hide from it, I still want to look and feel pretty.

[bridget thronton]

Feeling pretty is as good as reason as any - keep talking to your wife sounds like she is quite special

[Kiwi Primrose]

My excuse, not that I need one, is that the female clothing is cut and made to accommodate breasts. An essential part of this is making allowance for the extra room and shaping required for comfort and look of breasts, waist and hips, all of which are in different proportions to male garments. Personally, I have never been worried about "pretty", but I love the softer feel and variety of my hobby wardrobe.

[prene]

I agree with Kiwi.
"female clothing is cut to accommodate breast" I love the feel of a softer body and I hate hair YUCK.
For me it is just how I want to feel "feminine".

When out still under dress, love the feel of having hips and breasts that pull on my body as I move.
You are correct feminine clothes are so much fun, I wish they were not so expensive.

Prene

[Crissy 107]

Ronnie, That was a very well written and thoughtful post and I enjoyed reading it.

[sometimes_miss]

Sounds like she didn't want to accept that you have some female self identification going on. That's more than being bisexual, and she probably wasn't prepared for it.

[GretchenM]

Such an eloquent statement and description. Very interesting and revealing. You are definitely into feminine. However, by your description I also think you might be one of the many forms of transgender people, especially those of us who don't really want 24/7 but still need a good deal of that expression. Maybe bigender or gender fluid; more masculine sometimes and more feminine other times but with the two being expressed fairly separately and not much blending of the gender expressions as with non-binary. But you could also be non-binary.

The point is that this is a significant part of your life. Nothing wrong with that at all. Dig down deep and I think you may find "crossdressing hobby" isn't quite the nature of it. You may find that "hobby" is maybe not the right word? To me, it appears to perhaps be more of an identity thing than a hobby. Thus I have to agree with Lexi (Sometimes-Miss) that there may be more to this than you think there is.

That said, as long as you are happy that is what is important. But don't be surprised if this "hobby" becomes more of a kind of lifestyle choice. That is OK, but it will change the equation if that happens.

[alwayshave]

Ronnie, Feeling pretty is a good enough reason for me.

[deebra]

Ronnie, wonderful post; so nice of you to open up so much about personal feelings but that is one of the wonderful things about this site, you have others like you to talk to.. I identify with your post word for word except I feel full breasts are more feminine than your ample breasts. Having stated you are bisexual must mean you have had sex with another male, being pretty and feminine as you describe I can see where to be with a male would make you feel more womanly. Hope your wife can adjust and handle this steep mountain for her to climb. You have also probaly thought if you weren't married you would have the freedom to take this as far as you wanted. My advise, baby steps and don't tell her you want to be with a man.

[BrendaPDX]

"I still want to look and feel pretty." Good enough for me! Yes, most of the women's clothes I like are cut to best accent the assets.

[Robertacd]

Because women's clothes do not look or fit properly without them.

[Asew]

I asked myself this question too. And I got rid of my boobs. For me, it feels fake and I would rather accept I have a male body and cover it with a mix of female and male clothes. This question was part of me realizing I was non-binary and didn't need to go full femme anymore. It is great to occasionally question these things and figure out the most honest answer

[Micki_Finn]

Well for me it’s mostly because having boobs balances out my shape and makes my waist look smaller.

[Stephanie47]

Decades ago when my wife and I had "The Talk" she asked with some hint of frustration with me, "Why would a man wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?" During this conversation I mumbled a lot of gibberish. I said something about connecting with my inner woman. She shot back with "When you can have a baby talk to me about your inner woman." That conversation was the low point of dealing with my cross dressing. When we were first married we did dabble with nylon night gowns and hosiery in the bedroom. I suspect she thought it was just a fetish which brought her some benefits. When my interests went further it all fell apart. Any I digressed.

As to "Why the bra?" I suppose I have to go back to the real question. "Why do I want to emulate a woman?" I've always said on this forum I can express how I feel when wearing the clothes or why I like the clothes. However, after decades of searching I cannot come up with some concrete reason for me to wear women's clothing. All this psychological trauma was before the internet. If my wife and I were to have a discussion today I'd tell her I suspect there is some degree of dna of the opposite sex within my dna chain. I do see a counselor for war related PTSD. No, I have not brought up my cross dressing with the counselor. She has expressed her professional opinion that each man or woman has some dna of the opposite sex. In some it is more than others. Perhaps, that answers some questions as to why one person is satisfied with an occasional wearing of women's clothing, and, the next person is beating his head against the wall expressing the fact the mind set is that of a woman. As to the war related PTSD I found in the past wearing woman's clothing brings out another mindset and brings some degree of peace and transquility.

As to "Why the bra?" As others have stated it completes my mental image of an attractive woman. As a male I always thought in terms of proportion. A petite woman with overly huge breasts is not physically attractive. Out of proportion. A woman with excessively small breast is not physically attractive. Out of proportion. Don't get me wrong. I know some very nice women in both categories. It's just not my self image. I do not think man boobs are attractive either, although that may justify the need of a bra.

When I was a young child and before any interest in women's clothing I like to draw. I won an elementary school contest for a picture I made which was rather detailed. I love colors. I love things with color. I love growing flowers and maintain our flower garden. My woman's wardrobe tends toward color. I have many colorful slips. Once a sales woman told me women view a slip as "just an undergarment not to be seen." Me? I like the thought of the color hiding underneath a pretty color dress with designs. Even en drab over my professional career I expressed color through my shirts. Very rarely did I wear a white shirt with a red tie as most politicians or powerful men seem to graduate to. I wore pastels. My guy side of the closet is loaded with many many different colors. I also expressed myself with colorful ties with bold designs. There is something within me expressing some feelings which society does not hold in esteem for men. To me it is a lot more than to "make the clothes fit better."

[NancySue]

Because....just because...for all reasons mentioned. Putting on my bra is almost a ritual...hooking clasps, adjustment of shoulder straps, bending over to center and scoop..a must to complete the dressing process. I fill an a cup nicely which is mostly my daily bra, but I have several c cups with forms for variety.

[MsEva]

I guess I would add that the "boobs" sort of fill out the dress. It feels more fem to have them.

[Cheryl T]

I feel that there is no more feminine aspect than breasts.
They make me feel more like a woman than anything else. They balance my figure and make my clothes fit as designed.
Yes, they are not real, but then many women who have survived breast cancer wear them and that is actually their designed purpose. My mother was such a woman.

When I wear them, the movement, contact and weight reinforce that feeling of femininity that I love and desire. Nothing felt right until I purchased my first set of forms. From that point on everything fell into place and I was able to achieve the wholeness as a woman that I longed for for so long in my life.

[Majella St Gerard]

Women have breasts and as we dress like women, we use breast forms or whatever to achieve a womanly shape, I wear butt pads too. What does "Gay" have to do with it?

[Danielle_cder]

Exactly what Cheryl T said!

[Tracii G]

The clothes are made with boobs in the equation so why not have boobs where they are given space for?
I wish people would not equate dressing with being bisexual or gay.
Dressing and sexual preference have nothing to do with each other so please just stop it.
If you had no interest in dressing or ladies clothes then would you still be bisexual?
Answer that honestly when you get the chance please.
What I am getting at is are you claiming to be bisexual just because you dress and think it somehow validates your dressing?
I talk with a lot of CDers, young CD/trans people and some think they have to be bi or gay to be authentic.
Authentic is another thing that bothers me about some trans people. Just be who you are and don't worry about authentic because if you are you then you are authentic.

[Robertacd]

I do too Tracii... But you can't fix stupid.

To the simple minded, everything a woman does is for the sole purpose of attracting a man. Therefore the only reason a man would dress like a woman is to attract a man.

[Tracii G]

Yes simple minds think that way.

[Michaelasfun]

I feel the same way as you do on many fronts. Women’s wear just seems “happier” to me and I enjoy the variety; breasts are just a natural part of the whole look. And it’s ok to not know all the whys.

[Michellebej]

For me it is my self image. When I close my eyes I don't see a man, I see a woman.

That woman shares commonality with her four genetic sisters. All of whom are big breasted. The irony is that while some see "DD" as large, when compared to my sisters it is quite modest. Two of my sisters are in the Dolly Parton range while the other two wear an "E" cup.

My one and only sibling who knows about me, when she came to visit; one of the first things out of her mouth was "Why are your boobs so small?" ( 42DD).

So for me it's not a sex thing, or a clothing thing, it is a matter of self image.

IN other words "What would I look like if I had been born with 4 "X"s?"

[RainbowDash]

The boobs are very important to me when trying to identify as female, as is a wig. Without it I just don't feel right.
When I first started crossdressing, I bought my very first dress from a crossdressing store. I anxiously put it on and loved the look and feel of it. But the feminine experience was not complete, because I did not have breast forms and looked like a flat-chested woman. I made up my mind that I needed to have the appearance of breasts, and very shortly after, I was wearing the same dress with breast forms. I loved the look 10 times better and felt a lot more feminine too.
I loved having the appearance of boobs so much, that it wasn't too long that I thought about purchasing what is probably considered the most important piece of clothing when one thinks about their breasts.... bras. I also especially love off the shoulder dresses where the boobs peak out over the top of the dress. Having the look and feeling of boobs helps me feel more feminine, and makes the experience a whole lot more enjoyable.