Today was a good day I think? During a phone conversation with a long time friend I told him I was in counselling and he congratulated me saying it was about time. People had been telling me to seek help for PTSD for years. I went round the bushes a few times but finally told him what I had discovered. The melt downs and head aches were because I was in denial about my CD.
I was surprised when he said "so what, you have to do whatever makes you happy. You have to look in the mirror in the morning and be happy with what you see. If you keep living a lie you will never be happy."
I then got a lecture for an hour about sorting my head out and then choosing my time to tell my SO. He knows my circumstances and my partner and agreed it could have serious ramifications. But it was important for me to find the right solution. Regardless of the outcome he would support me.
I hate getting emotional! Good job I have the counsellor today.