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Thread: Why not a hobby?

  1. #1
    Occasional CD Alexandra Collins's Avatar
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    Why not a hobby?

    I suspect many will take issue with my post, but please keep in mind I am not suggesting this applies to anyone other than myself.

    If you look at a typical definition of a hobby (a regular activity done for enjoyment, typically during one's leisure time - wikipedia), that pretty much sums up how I feel as an occasional or "weekend" crossdresser who goes about once or twice a month. I don't feel like a woman, I don't feel girly, I don't feel like there is a woman inside trying to get out, etc. But for reasons I cannot fully explain, I just like getting dressed up and trying to look as convincing as possible, and being around others in public in this mode. I think my S.O. put it best when she said I like playing the role of a woman in public. The closest analogy I can come up with is someone who does amateur theater, i.e., for some reason they enjoy playing the role of someone else in front of an audience. For me I think it is some combination of the look and feel of the clothes and the feeling of being thought of, or treated as, a woman.

    I totally understand and accept that for some (most?) crossdressers, calling it a hobby is not right for various reasons, I'm just saying that for me I think it is not necessarily wrong.

    Just wondering if anyone else feels like I do?

    For no good reason just including a photo from my last GNO a few weeks ago, in the hotel room after I got home. I decided to wear pants for the first time, because I had recently scraped up my knee in a minor cycling accident!

    IMG_7170_f.jpg

  2. #2
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    You certainly look good while working on your hobby.... Love the outfit. My wife supports me in all my outdoor hobbies. She even participates in most of them. Maybe if I can convince her this is just another hobby then she be more in support of it.

  3. #3
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    Hey Alexandra,

    I would say my attention to my craft - to discover what I can do to make myself attractive and convincing as a woman - has a strong hobby flavor to it. I would also say the attention I've paid in recent years to knocking off bucket list items has a hobby component. However, my need to crossdress is embedded in my DNA and is in no way a hobby. The good news is that I made my peace with all of this many years ago, and no longer lose sleep over why I am how I am. Hugs, Michelle

  4. #4
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I call it a hobby because the term fits.i dress for enjoyment and what I find as the thrill of it. I do it on a part time basis a few times a month and I even get bored with it if I spent several days involved in it and I need something else . Maybe its my age.
    I would call skiing and taking care of my equipment a hobby and I do it in the winter 7 or 8 times and if it is continual say a week after 4 days I need something else.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  5. #5
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    Hi Aleandrea , MyWife calls it my little hobby, That's good enough for me. >Orchid ..oo..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  6. #6
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    Alexandra. I identify with your situation. I am just acting and it is fun. I regard myself as a gender tourist - I get the feelgood aspects of looking elegant in dresses and skirts without the hassle of actually being a woman and at no point to I identify as a woman no matter how much I manage to look and move like one. By the way I love your top.

  7. #7
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    I started to use the word “interest” in place of the “hobby” as it seems like it doesn’t draw the long winded lecturing.

  8. #8
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    I kind of think it is a HOBBY---I experiment with seeing how many DIFFERENT looks I can achieve with clothing and makeup and aided by photography---with a goal of looking like totally different people or characters. I don't use Photoshop--only different lighting, camera angles and facial expressions. For the outside world, I try different male disguises and costumes, with one or two female characters thrown in. But in my CD mode all my characters and looks are FEMALE. This is my USUAL activity when I CD, apart from the CD "High" and psychological effects.
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    Last edited by MarinaTwelve200; 03-24-2019 at 08:26 PM.

  9. #9
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    I got dumped on by lots of people here when I called it a hobby a few years ago.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 03-25-2019 at 11:26 AM.

  10. #10
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Call it whatever makes you feel comfortable.
    Just remember to not apply YOUR definition to what others do.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  11. #11
    Brandi Brandie.n's Avatar
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    I also call my dressing a hobby I like to play dress up when something good happens,I dress up for halloween,and i also get to play with fashion its one of my many hobbies
    Flickr- https://www.flickr.com/photos/brandiedaniels/

  12. #12
    Senior Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    Alexandra , your hobby description fits me almost 100%. I am very comfortable wanting to look and feel as convincingly female about once a month and have no trouble returning to my male self. For many of us it is as much of as hobby as civil war re-enactors who can go to extreme lengths in being as authentic as possible. In our case our "re-enactment" involves a change of gender and therefore is not well understood or accepted by the general public.
    However as stated by michelleddg there is something in my DNA that makes my crossdressing a necessity or compulsion . I don't think that is case with civil war re-enactors or other hobbies.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Frannie7's Avatar
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    Alexandra (and other who have posted) I have been waiting for a post like this for a while because it almost perfectly describes how I feel about crossdressing. I may dressed up once or twice a month and get out once every two months. I have described it to others as playing a role in some ways. I, too, try to look as convincing as possible and enjoy going to places like Sephora for makeup applications. I also find going out more enjoyable when there is someone to go out with. It wasn't this wasn't this way when I started (we won't go there) but now I do look forward to looking as best as I can and going out. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't know, so this makes going out a little harder.

  14. #14
    Junior Member ReneeTD's Avatar
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    For my part, shopping for women's clothes is more the hobby. Dressing occupies a deeper psychic place than just a hobby, it's a preferred state of being. I'm not "out" and tend to pursue it in moments when I have the privacy to do so, or ways that I can incorporate it in the daily grind. Once in that mode, I am loath to stop. Were it not for my life circumstances, I would probably be full time. I under dress constantly, only using male underwear for doctor visits or such. My femme wardrobe is probably bigger than my male things. I wear my hair at terminal length. In some respects it's more a need than a hobby.

  15. #15
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    There is certainly a need to stretch gender boundaries that occupies a deep place in my psyche. The drive to do this is far stronger and more fundamental to my personality than my motives for pursuing more ordinary hobbies.

    But more superficially, there certainly is an element of "craft" to crossdressing that I also enjoy. Designing the look, purchasing the clothes, producing an artistic presentation with hair, jewelry, clothing, shoes and makeup are all creative pursuits that I enjoy. Observing women in the real world, talking to fashion and beauty professionals, and reading magazines and web sites for clothing and makeup tips supports my art much like the meetings, conferences and publications from my hobby organizations help me learn about my more socially neutral pastimes. Emotionally, I would still be TG even if I never tried on the clothes or thought about my makeup colors. But it's the "hobby" aspect that gives me the satisfaction of creating a unique look and sharing it with others.

    - Diane
    Last edited by Diane Smith; 03-25-2019 at 01:01 AM.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    It is not a hobby for me, if I could have just decided not to do it I would have, my life would have been infinitely easier without it.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Why not a hobby indeed, Alexandra?
    Call it what you want. It's your live experience.
    We don't all have to be tub-thumping, political activists.
    You're clearly rocking it, whatever label is applied.
    Last edited by abbiedrake; 03-25-2019 at 07:10 AM.

  18. #18
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    For me, deebra I would love to have a set of natural D boobs in my D bra and no package in my thongs and panties. Would love to be a woman for a year. Imagine with this female body and going about as a woman, the enjoyment, fulfilment and happiness. This is not a hobby for me, it's me.

  19. #19
    Member rhonda's Avatar
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    Hobby or whatever it sure is getting costly

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Alexandra,

    I think you look very chic.

    Well you have your hobby and I have my pass time.

    Yep I can pass the time very easily.

    What a great pastime for me. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
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    Alexandra,
    I admit the first time I read someone calling it a hobby I went ballistic . I accept now it can be a hobby to some , the mistake some people make is they tar everyone with same brush .

    When I first joined I was on quite a rollercoaster ride , so my reply was the first time I read it called a hobby I pointed out that hobbies don't tear famillies apart , they don't bring you close to ending your life . They don't leave you in such turmoil you need to bare your soul to counsellors/therapists . In these circumstances I felt it would have been totally insulting to my wife and family if I called it my hobby .

    Maybe that's a point others should consider when they try and appease wives/partners by calling it a hobby , think twice that you're not actually insulting them . The other point is don't use it as an excuse to spend excessive money on it , again I assured my wife my dressing wasn't going to cost a fortune . She wasn't happy about me trawling the local charity shops but was happier letting me have some of her things .

    Again the problem can come when it esculates from a hobby , when you find GD is becoming a problem , then you may be accused of lying about it only being a hobby .

    OK you took the precaution of making the disclaimer , I for one appreciate that .

  22. #22
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    It is whatever rocks your boat so to speak? if it is conceived as a hobby by one then so be it, i think when it changes fromù being more than a "hobby" is when one spends more than just the occasional day dressed but spends most days dressed. personaly I do not look upon it as a hobby for me it is more a way of life a way of living a long held dream that is now a reality.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  23. #23
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    For some I can agree it's a hobby.
    For me I must disagree. A hobby, in my mind, is something someone chooses to do because they have a fondness, or love of a particular thing or activity. Rebuilding cars, collecting stamps, making furniture are things I see as hobbies.
    I didn't choose this, it chose me. I don't do it because I love the clothes, but because the clothes allow me to express what's deep inside me so that others can recognize it. Yes, I feel feminine at times no matter how I'm dressed, and even sometimes naked (rarely, but sometimes) but no one else knows and I do want others to know, to see me, to recognize my inner feelings. So ... for me this is definitely not a hobby.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  24. #24
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    I believe that as long as one puts the disclaimer that this opinion does not apply to everyone here, but is relevant to a certain percentage of the members who post, there should be no issues, and that this is a valid argument for some.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member Georgina's Avatar
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    Almost true for me, although it is more of an interest. Once I discovered female clothes I wanted to know more about them. This included a lot of research into the history as well. I still do a lot of reading on the subject. As I tend towards the scientific ,in my approach, I wanted to do the practical as well as the theory.

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