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Thread: Why not a hobby?

  1. #26
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    When I was a little kid I asked my mother to send away for a packet of stamps for twenty-five cents and a box top from some cereal. I am still "collecting" stamps after sixty plus years. That's my hobby, along with collecting coins and building plastic military models. For various reasons I engage less and less with those hobbies.

    Donning women's clothing does not fall into the "hobby" category for me. Like a GG, there are men who wear women's clothing and "collect" specific women's attire; vintage slips for example. But, for me, to get all pretty and emulate a woman is to respond to an inner pull coming from my dna. I've notice through the years that external stimuli and situations have decreased the influence of what I perceive to be my feminine strands of dna.

  2. #27
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    It certainly can be a hobby for some of us. Nothing wrong with calling it that for yourself, if you feel it suits you.

    I remember when I first started going out dressed in public, and seriously started being able to ‘pass’ more often than not, even when engaging strangers in lengthly conversations. I took a certain amount of pride in my ‘skill as an actor’, that with no medical changes at all, not even pierced ears, I could - through makeup, voice, behavior and what I wore - get a majority of people to accept me at face value as a ‘genuine female’. And for a while, I wondered if that was all it was. If I just enjoyed getting others to see me as female, and not to see the guy under the makeup.

    But like any other hobby, for some people it can evolve into a passion, an avocation, or a profession. A casual cross dresser may discover deeper needs driving their ‘hobby’, needs not to just ‘play a role’, but to live in that new role, as a definition of who we are. And that is fine too. It doesn’t mean all ‘hobby’ cross dressers will eventually transition. No more than a family vacation shapshot enthusiast is bound to become a professional photographer. My own need evolved past a ‘need to be seen’, into a ‘need to live like this’. When I realized how much happier I was just walking around in public as a woman, even when doing very mundane tasks and hardly interacting at all with anyone else, that changed it for me. That was when it went from ‘need to be seen’ to ‘need to be accepted, and to live this way’, for me.

    We each walk a different path in life. The labels we associate with what we do and how we live can only properly be assigned by ourselves.

  3. #28
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    For me it is also a hobby, sometimes a fetishistic hobby 😉.

  4. #29
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Call it what you like I just wanna get dressed up and feel good. At my age I don't want to spend what time I have on this planet thinking about trivial things.
    Angie
    Last edited by Angie G; 03-25-2019 at 11:55 AM.

  5. #30
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    For me, it's not a hobby, it's a daily necessity.

  6. #31
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    Can it be considered a hobby? Yes, in certain ways for certain people. I also considered it a hobby when I didn't have the freedom that I have now. However for many of us (and I think I am in this category) we progress from it being a hobby into a kind of lifestyle or a comfortable need. If there were not work concerns I would spend more time dressed than drab. As it is as soon as I get home, I'm more likely to slip into a skirt or leggings to get comfortable. It feels right and comfortable.

  7. #32
    Occasional CD Alexandra Collins's Avatar
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    Thanks all for your very civil and thoughtful comments. I started this thread not to suggest that I or anyone else should use the word hobby to describe their dressing. I just wanted to hear from others to see if this term could apply to them, or not, and the reasons why either way. By having a discussion about a single word, we can possibly get to some deeper insight that is meaningful. For example, if I were to try to summarize what everyone has said in this thread in a single sentence, I would say something like:

    Maybe there are two end-member types of crossdressers - those for whom it's about what's on the outside, and those for whom it's about what's on the inside. i.e., the clothes versus gender identity. And of course, there can be any combination in between.

    For me, I would say I'm probably at least 90% outside. As someone in their mid 50's who only started seriously dressing just over a year ago, I am still trying to figure this all out, for example, to help communicate with my S.O. to express how I feel and hopefully maintain our relationship. I realize if you've been dressing for many years, this is all old news to you, or you've finally realized it doesn't matter or you don't care. I'm just not there yet.


    Thanks for reading this far (as an "incentive/reward(!?)" I've added another photo from my last GNO, taken after I got back to our hotel room and I wanted to try another outfit before removing my makeup.),
    Alexandra

    IMG_7259_f.jpg

  8. #33
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    Ceera,
    It's a lovely way of describing the evolution some of us go through .The reference of " Skills as an actor " that could equally apply to the times some of us have to revert to male mode now . During the thirty years of photography I often felt I had to act the part on many occasions , I would often think after that I couldn't beleive I've just done what I did . I do question if I did start out acting the part when I first set foot out the door to attend my first social group meetings , I felt so comfortable right from the start so had I become the true me ? I certainly felt a whole person, part of me was no longer hidden .

    I know there is the saying that , " Life is a stage and we are all just actors on that stage " I'm now happy with the assigned label of Teresa .

  9. #34
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    It doesn't feel like a hobby to me. I have a number of hobbies several of which I usually work at while dressed in woman's wear. It often seems to me that my concentration is better that way, but it is hard to be objective in any realistic way. It just seems more like an identity thing for me.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  10. #35
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    I am more than okay classifying my dressing as a hobby while fully acknowledging that for many it's a deep felt need. I'm just a guy that likes to present as a woman...love doing it, but I don't identify as a woman or feel the need to be a woman or feel that I have an 'inner woman' struggling to get out. it's just a 'thing' I do and that I enjoy.

  11. #36
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    Is it normal to feel the need to have a female name while doing this hobby?
    I have to ask to all the hobby folks why do you have a female name?

  12. #37
    Occasional CD Alexandra Collins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Is it normal to feel the need to have a female name while doing this hobby?
    I have to ask to all the hobby folks why do you have a female name?
    Traci, I'm still not sure "hobby" applies to me, but I have a female name because I go out in public, and I want my name to match my presentation.

  13. #38
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    It may just be more than a hobby for you after all you just haven't realized it yet.
    I am transgender so dressing completes who I am,I have no days where I dress totally male.

  14. #39
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    One hobby that stopped my CDing for close to twenty years was having children.
    Now that they've all moved out should I make wooden toys, or play Girly-Dress-UP?

    I guess it's Girly-Dress-UP
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  15. #40
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Is it normal to feel the need to have a female name while doing this hobby?
    I have to ask to all the hobby folks why do you have a female name?
    I felt the need to use a feminine name online due to seeing it was a common practice in the crossdressing community. Then when I joined the local crossdressing social group I was asked to give a feminine name to sustain anonymity. As I started publicly socializing, the friends felt uncomfortable in referring to me as Jeff when I was presenting a feminine appearance. I don’t use this feminine name for dinner reservations or other arrangements eventhough I know I will be presenting in a feminine form. I am glad that my family doesn’t feel uncomfortable in referring to me as Jeff or Uncle Jeff eventhough I may be presenting in the feminine form (and I sure don’t feel uncomfortable in responding to my real name)

  16. #41
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    the name I use is unisex, I go by Gerri. I've been called Jerry on and off my whole life so I just changed the spelling.
    if you are trans then it is not a hobby for you but for us straight guys that like to dress up occasionally it's a HOBBY.
    everyone defines themselves.

  17. #42
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    I am not a straight guy, I still perceive my crossdressing as an interest, hobby, activity, etc
    Last edited by Princess Chantal; 03-25-2019 at 09:16 PM.

  18. #43
    Occasional CD Alexandra Collins's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    It may just be more than a hobby for you after all you just haven't realized it yet.
    I am transgender so dressing completes who I am,I have no days where I dress totally male.
    I don't think so Traci, I enjoy dressing as a male most of the time, and after I go out dressed as a female, when I get home I usually can't wait to get those clothes off!

  19. #44
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    Whichever works for you is fine with me and I hope you enjoy it.
    The spectrum in CDing is far and wide and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

  20. #45
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    Great thread, for me, it's a hobby, i've built model airplanes in my youth, fishing on my boat was my mid life release and now that I'm alone I can enjoy my life long desire to C/D. Wait, that alone says that's not really a hobby, I guess it is somewhere in between hobby and the inner drive we have.
    WW

  21. #46
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    Judy ,
    For one moment I thought you were suggesting having children was a hobby !!

    I have to aplogise for my sense of humour sometimes but when women tell me how many kids they've had I say with a smile , " Don't you think you should have found another hobby for your husband ? " I've had some really great answers when I've asked that question .

  22. #47
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Lot of great responses!


    Not sure how much more I can add at this point, but for me it certainly takes on *some* elements of a hobby. And I think it always has, at least on some various levels at different times in my life.

    For example, back during my en-femme days of going out & about, usually socially (including vanilla hetero bars/clubs), the attempt to pass/blend was a fun, challenging & even vital one. Definitely an art & a science to it, that soaked up a lot time, effort, practice, knowledge, experience, etc. The driving *need* for doing that wasn't a hobby -- but the actual transformation was certainly so, in a way.


    Of course, doing all that in my 20's & 30's was definitely easier to be a bit more convincing... But obviously those days are long gone.

    I still partake in that hobby aspect from time to time, or at least the transformation part, but it's more of a giant hassle & pain in the butt for me, really. And even then, I no longer go the whole 9 yards, with no desire to cover every last little detail like I used to. The quest for perfection was just a recipe for eventual burn-out, really. Besides, I could be wrong, but I feel I've already done pretty much all of what I wanted to do with that. So, I try to leave the past, in the past.


    These days, part of it is still a hobby for me. I say that, because it can sometimes *compete* with other hobbies of mine! Whether in terms of time, money, energy, passion, etc. Only so much of that stuff to go around, ya know? Of course, I can still do this "hobby" while enjoying other ones at the same time... Though at that point, it's honestly just some stuff I happen to be wearing at the time, LOL.

    I'm an avid leggings fan, for example. Not only do I like wearing them, but I also enjoy shopping for them! The hunt for them, the discovering of a "new" brand or style or print, etc. I spend quite a bit of time on that, heh... And quite a bit of money, too. I do some of my leggings shopping on eBay, which adds a whole new element to it all... Will the seller lower the price on this hard-to-find pair? Will they instead toss it up as an auction with a lower starting bid? Are other potential buyers also "watching" it? Will eBay randomly throw me a nice discount code? Blah blah blah. It really is quite fun.

    I should mention, that I own over 200 pairs of leggings, easy. Probably closer to 250? Not kidding. I didn't plan it that way -- it just happened! And on some levels, I guess you could say it's my leggings *collection*. Only it's a wearable collection.



    Anyway, as others have mentioned, the act of CD'ing, itself, can certainly be a hobby for some. For others, parts of it may take on certain elements of a hobby -- but it's not an outright hobby, per se.

    And just as some in this community enjoy some hobby *aspects*? Guess what: So do plenty of GG's! Whether it's their love of leggings, or make-up, or shoes, or nails, or fitness, or whatever... They, too, can definitely have a passion for certain girly things, many of which they have in common with people like us. Pretty cool, really.

    So, at least in that sense, there's really nothing wrong with having CD'ing as a hobby.

  23. #48
    Member AllieBellema's Avatar
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    Personally, I'd say aslong as you enjoy it, enjoy it how you view it... whether it's a hobby of a lifestyle. I would probably say I'm more hobby because more of what I do is crossplay since pretty much my entire wardrobe would not blend in at the local mall. I do enjoy my "hobby" and it makes me happy. I always say do what makes you happy and if it being a lifestyle makes you happy, then that's the way to treat it!

  24. #49
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Majella St Gerard View Post
    For me it is also a hobby, sometimes a fetishistic hobby ��.
    I think this sums it up nicely for me. Proclivity is such a complicated word.
    Funny enough, I was helping a neighbor with a home project and he asked me if I had any hobbies.
    I said yes but I just couldn't think of any at the moment.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  25. #50
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieBellema View Post
    I would probably say I'm more hobby because more of what I do is crossplay since pretty much my entire wardrobe would not blend in at the local mall.
    Cosplay is another perfect example of how GG's, too, can turn an aspect of this into a hobby of theirs (heck, some even make $$$ off it!).

    Not only is it about the creativity & fashion, but for them (just as can sometimes be for us), it's also outwardly "becoming someone else" -- or even just a different extension of themselves.


    Oh, and for those who don't know what cosplay & crossplay are, definitely look into it. Probably more geared towards the under-40 crowd, from what I understand, but definitely looks like a lot of fun!

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