When I get to college, I'm going to have to make a decision...

[Jennifer2918]

First off, be yourself.

But, I would be drab for the first week or so until you get the full flavor of the campus. Then I would transition to my girl jeans when I was comfortable and more at ease. Remember, there will be lots of new surrounds and people and nerves will be going. Take your time and like I initially said, be yourself.

[Lindsay blonde locks]

I just read all the newest replies, and I appreciate and trust all of it! My school's RoomSync selection feature has not opened yet, but I know already there is a portion of it where you get to write about any "special requirements", with the intent of accommodating LGBT students, as well as people like me. So I'll be fine.

As to others' thoughts about safety and fellow students' reaction to this, I can say this: I am pretty thick-skinned and know how to verbally defend myself if made fun of/teased. But I really need to have friends there, because my social anxiety/awkwardness has prevented me from attaining all the typical high school social achievements.

So while I might seem unfazed by rejection from peers of my dressing to an onlooker, inside I will be deeply hurt if this prevents me from getting friends in the *next* four-year school tenure.

[susiej]

Most of us ladies who have lived a few decades more than you will tell you that there's not much chance that this girly thing is simply going to go away for you. Rather, you're going to "get to enjoy it" for the rest of your life (and may it be long, happy and rewarding!).

Start now being honest with your roommate and the others on campus, students, advisors, professors, vendors, dorm workers. You are building the foundation of your long-term future, and in this second decade of the 21st Century, there's no reason to hide your "gift". Wear what you like. Date whom you please. Go out and find people who see the world your way. Trust me, it's far easier that way.

Remember, you are there to get an education, both academic and social. They won't kick you out for wearing jeans that zip up the side to class.

That said, if you come across as gender-ambiguous, you do risk not making friends with the jocks down the hall. But really, darlin', do you care? Chances are the school has way more students than you can ever befriend in the four years you will be there. You don't need 'em all. There will be associations of gender-flexible folk on campus; go find them. Audition for the theater department -- they will likely be less judgmental than most.

You may currently be accustomed to being "strange" and "different" than your peers, but on campus you may find the opportunity to actually meet people who understand and share your experience. Imagine that! Imagine that...

I attended a big university in the midwest from 1968 to 1972, and (of course) stayed tightly and thoroughly in the closet. I've been in that same lonely, dark closet ever since. If I could do it all over again in the modern era -- OMG! I'd be out and myself from the very first day.

Best,
-- Susie