Hello all,
Soo good news here the wife has told me I have something to look forward to on Saturday. Which is pretty much her list of what she will be ok with. Which I’m sure is gonna be pretty barren, but it’s super exciting. Especially when she said today it’s allot easier for her to process now so she can think allot clearer. I believe I e done a good job of staying cool and pretty much not bringing up anything about it unless she brought up a concern or question. It was hard let me tell you. But well worth it.
She also said she was gonna start going threw her cloths soon ( she is a hoarder of cloths) to revamp her style at which point I asked her to keep Danielle in mind which she responded already was. My my heart beat out my chest, felt good. She has randomly been calling me Danielle not much but in situations and man dose it feel good.
But at the same time all this excitement and good feelings I still am worried and scared.
I’m honestly scarred to dress in front of her. Even small bits. So I’m scarred one day she will say go get dressed Danielle and I’ll want to but I won’t because of being scared but then hurting her feelings somehow. I’ve come to realize most of my worries is her. Leaving looking down on me etc I just want her to accept me and know me. I think the guilt of holding all this in for so long has made me have a hard time accepting this myself which I’m still fighting.
One day I want absolutely nothing todo with dressing don’t care for it and feel as tho it’s in my past then the next I have a small urge to just paint my toes or wear high heels. Then the next day be fully into it and wanting to cruise the town.
Then add on top my bi couriouseness of it oh man all these emotions. I have come to accept this is apart of me but there are days that I just hate that I have these desires. But those are fewer and fewer and longer in between. Which feels great.
Dose anyone have any tips on how to control my urges ? I’m doing really well and been patient but I’m really wanting to dress, but I will not untill I have her word. And I don’t want to loose her trust . I know Saturday isn’t long but I’m preparing for a small list of things that are very little. Which is fine but I just don’t want to jeopardize my relationship for these urges.
Also how To even out these emotional whirlwinds. My heads racing and I feel I’m releasing so I will end it here
Thank all of you lovely people for being here and being supportive and sharing your stories and troubles,