Results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: Post Op Transition

  1. #1
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Virginia Beach, Va.
    Posts
    1,657

    Post Op Transition

    Tell us how you do it. For those that have transitioned and of course are living full time as a woman. Maybe you've had breast implants and other surgeries but the male plumbing is still there. Maybe you can't afford abdominal transitional surgery or you like and prefer what you were born with. It has been said up close face and voice that all of us can be outed even those that have achieved a great female appearance. What is your mindset and self confidence level when you go to the dentist and that is as up close as you can get, both your face and voice. What about laying in the chair wearing tight girl shorts, the doc and assistant have a very close view. Are you worried about girl gossip in the office? Talking with others up close in your daily life. Finding a job as a woman verses your previous job as a blue collar man. Being around other women that know women and have a keen eye and sense of something is a little different. Do you all ways have an inner fear of being outed as trans or trying to pass as being a natural GG? I think all members would like to know; how do you handle being a full time transgindered woman?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Eugene, Oregon, USA
    Posts
    1,793
    Interested to see the responses. I could reply to a lot of this, as someone who has already legally transitioned and been on HRT and living full time female for 7 months. I was close to full time female for 4 years before that. But my first surgeries are still a year out. So aside from saying I am passing just fine in most cases, I will sit back and watch this topic, unless you invite me to reply in depth.
    Last edited by Ceera; 04-04-2019 at 01:11 PM.

  3. #3
    Member Sara Olivia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Victoria, British Columbia
    Posts
    142
    I started living fulltime as Sara in September of 2017. I am awaiting both surgeries mentioned but you do not need to be post op in order to be able to answer your questions. My dentist and family doctor are the same as they were before I started living fulltime as Sara. So they know that I am not biologically female. My family doctor is also the one helping with referrals to see specialists and surgeons. So no secrets with either and both are comfortable with my changes and seeing me as Sara. In other words no issues with being outed. In my job I am Sara. Most of my colleagues I've known since before transition, others only know me as Sara who were hired after my transition. There have been no issues, the subject has never come up. I still regularly travel in my job, both to Europe and the US and there have never been issues with anyone, not at the border and not with any of the people I'm there to meet with. Female colleagues at work have accepted me as one of them and I have been invited several times to women only social events by the organizers of them. I attended and all the women present also accepted me as one of them and while I was nervous at first, their friendliness and friendship soon made me forget my anxieties and fears. My female colleagues have become good friends and literally taken me under their wing. I used to worry about getting outed and harassed but in a year and a half that has not happened even once and that includes a month spent in Italy and Greece where the men behave very macho. These days my life is pretty normal and uneventful. So what I am trying to say is that I had all the same worries that you pointed out in your post above. They have all dissipated now and I get up every day like every other woman, get dressed for the day in whatever clothes feel appropriate that day, put on my make up and go about my life. I have stopped thinking about all these little worries and concerns that were so large on my radar prior to transition.

    One last thing that I would like to add. Getting by as a woman is less about how you look and how you dress than it is about how you behave. Forget the mannerisms and male behaviors you learned all these years living as a man. Nothing will give you away as quickly as ejecting a gob of spit out of your mouth. Pay attention to the behaviors of the women around you and learn to behave in similar ways. Also accept that men treat women differently than they do other men. So don't be surprised or offended when they treat you as a woman. During a recent cold spell, where I live, I was at the hardware store to buy some road salt. They sold the salt in 50 lb bags that they kept in the back of the store. A male employee went and brought a bag for me to the till where I paid for it. When I then attempted to pick up the bag to carry it to my vehicle I was harshly rebuked with a comment that momentarily stunned me with the same male employee saying in a authoritative voice to me "I don't think so". I looked at him surprised - I am almost 6 feet tall and don't appear frail. He grabbed the bag and insisted he would walk it out to my car telling me that its quite heavy and would be too heavy for me to carry myself. I just smiled and thanked him and let it go.
    Last edited by Sara Olivia; 04-04-2019 at 05:32 PM.

  4. #4
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    SW England
    Posts
    2,925
    Echoing Sara Olivia, in the daily life one does not even think of it. Most folks round here want to avoid upsetting anyone, so even if they seem uncomfortable they will say nothing. Getting "sir'd" happens sometimes, just don't let it annoy. Passing is not really the concern that it is to a CD.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  5. #5
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Banning, east of Los Angeles.
    Posts
    2,571
    Debra, I'm not in full time yet because I've been taking things slowly. I always was a person that achieve thing pretty soon but this is not about achieving things but love as you're mean to live.
    I agree with Sara and Pamela, that I had those concerns when I was a crossdresser because everything was.about passing.
    Today even to dress sexy or too female is not a high priority. I almost don't wear any male clothe so may be 50% of the time I'm kind in androgens way.
    I noticed that mostly guys double look ay me but I learn no to read minds ar listen gossips.
    I'm self employed and my customers now know me as a trasgender for who ask or a woman for who.dont.
    I can go.to the beach in bikini, my tuck works perfect since the friends down there had reduced their size so easy to accommodate. I have B cup boobs that is a normal size for any woman. My voice is the same, people don't open eyes when I talk. I don't exaggerate mannerisms because people.must learn that I'm a trasgender. A psychologist friend told me few time ago, you don't need to act as a woman because you're one...
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
    Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
    Breast augmentation surgery 012022
    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  6. #6
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    2,749
    Quote Originally Posted by deebra View Post
    What is your mindset and self confidence level when you go to the dentist and that is as up close as you can get, both your face and voice.

    What about laying in the chair wearing tight girl shorts, the doc and assistant have a very close view.

    Being around other women that know women and have a keen eye and sense of something is a little different.

    Do you all ways have an inner fear of being outed as trans or trying to pass as being a natural GG?

    I think all members would like to know; how do you handle being a full time transgindered woman?


    1. I was at the dentist office today in fact. I'm going to guess that by, "My confidence level"
    you're not referring to my faith in the Doctors abilities?

    Todays visit was otherwise routine and un-note-worthy. If you've ever been to the dentist, I'm sure you've got the idea!
    I will say, Dr. B and staff were, as always, very warm and pleasant.

    Well... as warm and pleasant as, masked silhouettes only dimly shielding the 10,000,000 lumen retina melting interrogation beam while they sinisterly hover inches from your face, cold hard metallic tasting implements grinding, scraping, high speed sonic-picking and polishing off the accumulated sin and detritus of the last 6 months of oral misdeeds,
    can be, that is.

    I was wearing black fleece capris leggings by Wish, a long sweater jacket by Prairie Underground in periwinkle over a lavender cami and sock-less shoes by Merrill
    (they're meant to be worn.... you guessed it! barefoot!).

    I can't think of any adults I know, male or female, who would wear, "tight girl shorts," to a dentist appointment. Just sayin.

    I've known people, for over a year, both male and female, who said they would never have known if I hadn't told them. I"ve also been, "clocked," as they say. It has only happened a few times where people (all men) actually said something to me, usually rudely.
    One night in a bar a guy who's friend fancied me and had bought me a beer said "your a man aren't you?" I was incredulous, and stupidly said, "excuse me?" so he said with more conviction "your a dude stay away from my friends or I'll kick your ass!" I said, **** you asshole! resisted the urge to dump my beer on him because it would have been a waste of perfectly good beer! and went to the outdoor seating area where his friend who bought me the beer came and said "don't listen to him he's an ass when he's drunk"
    My interest in him had cooled however so I struck up a conversation with a women and her boyfriend....
    and that's a story best left to the imagination.
    As far as what others might be thinking! Don't worry about it. TRUST ME, In all likelihood its not you!

    When I started transitioning like 9? years ago, I was obsessed with passing. A lot of it was unhealthy because I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity for far too long but it did motivate me to make physical changes like electrolysis and laser, to learn how to do makeup (like chess, minutes to learn, a lifetime to master!), and four major surgeries (one of which was 12 hours under general anesthesia)
    It also motivated me to work on my voice which has paid off.
    It's what drove me to spend hours trying on loads of clothes none of which ever seemed to fit right only to find one dress or top.

    Transition has turned out to be the best thing I've ever done for myself but it has come at a very high cost, mentally, emotionally, physically, monetarily but Totally worth it.

    How do I handle being a transgender woman? Somedays not so great to be honest. I can still get caught up in self-pity and wishing for a life that can never be (born female) instead of living the life I have which is a pretty awesome life really!

    While there will always be things about myself I'll want to improve I finally feel like... Me.
    Last edited by Aprilrain; 04-05-2019 at 05:10 AM.

  7. #7
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Deebra,
    The first point is the majority of people do not know what level of transition you have reached unless you chosse to tell them but why would want to or need to ?
    The next point is it isn't for fetish or erotic reasons it is more to do with dealing with inner needs .

    OK I admit I'm not on hormones but I decided to go full time when I separated from my wife which meant in my new home town nothing was off limits I was out as Teresa . I have donated blood , had my hearing tested and hearing aids fitted , I have been to the optician's for my eye test and choose new glasses . No retail outlet has been a problem , I thought a builder's merchant might have been but no it wasn't , I've had tradesmen call at my home to carry out work .

    I've also helped out with students during their pride week and talked about my experiences with the NHS in front of a full lecture theatre of NHS delegates .

    I don't have any inner fears , what people see me as I can't honestly say but what ever it is everyone has been totally accepting , I don't have a problem so they don't , it's as simple as that !

    How do I handle it ? Well the simple answer is I just do it why should there be a problem ? What is the fear of being outed as ? I don't really use labels anymore so there is nothing to relate being outed to . If you present well enough using common sense, I find I come over female enough to be accepted , what they see usually overrides what they hear if the voice isn't quite right but I really don't worry about it . If you don't look for a bad reaction you won't normally receive one .

    I had to smile at Sara's comment at not being allowed to pick up the salt bags , I've experienced this situation several times , from buying a new printer for my computer to set of patio furniture . I'm not letting on what this little guy use to shift .

    On the other side of the coin I bought a folding picnic chair with a side table , I set it up fine but couldn't work out how it folded down the female SA picked it up in one hand and without blinking an eye almost crushed it with the other, she just smiled and said , " It needed a bit of gentle persuation !" That's the sort of Gal you need to take on camping trips with you !
    Last edited by Teresa; 04-06-2019 at 06:59 AM.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Richelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Orange County, CA, USA
    Posts
    500
    My experience in transition is basically the same as others have already stated. Since I work remotely, I was able to start transition at home and socially before transition at work. All this before starting estrogen. I have now transitioned at work and legally changed by name and gender marker.

    Since the transition was over a longer period (2 plus years) I had time to mentally adjust and accept how people may react. I am now very comfortable being up-close with people that knew before and with people who never meet me as a male. This includes, doctors, eye care professionals, hair stylists, and of course customers I have met face to face over the last year.

    I have never experienced any issues, but I consider myself lucky. As my therapist says, I do not have a lot of strong male characteristics, like broad shoulders or a large Adam’s apple, so I do not stand out.

    Richlle

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Dorit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Israel
    Posts
    542
    I began my public transition a year and a half ago when I began HRT. I was out as Dorit in the small town I had lived in for the last thirty five years. I felt I had no choice and because of my age I could not wait any longer. Somehow I found the courage, even though I lacked a lot of self confidence. My self confidence went way up after FFS and SRS. For me it was a game changer, this is who I am. I still can have episodes of doubt and depression, but they are less and less frequent, I am determined that such episodes do not rule me.

    I was a transgender child before it was "cool." It almost destroyed me. Today I am living my childhood dream. It is awesome!

  10. #10
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    2,048
    I used to be very stressed about how people saw me and being outed.

    The last couple years though after moving to more urban area away from my home town where everyone knew (it used to feel like such a weight on me), it is not really an issue or something I think about much. I don't really try to "pass" or worry about being found out. I seldom wear makeup and very often just wear jeans and t. Sometimes I think I should try more, I don't know. If I was being misgendered or experiencing other negatives in life I probably would, but that stuff very seldom happens since moving here. I have secure job where I am sure most my co workers know but it is a non issue there and it is alright with me that they know. I have not had any problems in this community, with doctors or dentists or anyone. I don't volunteer that info about myself to anyone unless it is necessary. It is by a large a non issue in my life these days.

  11. #11
    GerriJerry Gerrijerry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,150
    Been to the dentist many times. The only problem there, is paying the bill. As to what I wear, last time it was jeans and a blouse. Oh Yes I almost forgot, I might have been dreaming, but I believe the dentist looked down the top of my blouse. Not that I care really. The ladies and there right where they are supposed to be. LOL
    TO OVER WEIGHT TO POST A PHOTO, MY wife tells me I look like I am pregnant

  12. #12
    Member Jeninus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    East Central PA
    Posts
    142
    I have been living full-time for 2 1/2 years, have been on HRT, had therapy, facial and genital electrolysis and BA. I'm scheduled for bottom surgery at the end of June. The biggest concern I had was in April 2017 when my wife was stricken with Guillainé-Barré Syndrome and was in the ICU for 6 weeks before being shipped out to other hospitals. I wanted to come in as Jennifer, but was concerned that the nurses and doctors would not give my wife proper care if I did. One of the night nurses told us that she had been working with transgender people in another area, and I told her outside the room about my situation. The next morning the attending physician took me aside and told me I should come in as Jennifer and that he had spoken to the other doctors and nurses and that they would never give my wife less than excellent care. So I did, and the nurses and doctors were wonderful. The nurses started giving me tips about makeup and we had a wonderful relationship. When my wife was transferred to another hospital to be weaned from the tracheostomy they called ahead to the nurses there, and when we came in the nurses greeted me as Jennifer.

    I am lucky and blessed that I have had hardly any issues at all living and interacting with "normal" people. All my friends are fully supportive. I am now so used to living as Jennifer that I hardly even think about it anymore. A few years ago I would enter the bra or panty section with a sense of dread and embarrassment. Now it's nothing, and I've asked to be measured for bras and no one has blinked an eye. After a while, you start to almost feel as though you're just living normally and the world of transgender seems to be getting more and more remote. I would never wear a t-shirt that says: "This is what transgender looks like" and I can't picture myself walking in a Pride Parade either.

    Two weeks ago I had my first appointment with my gynecologist and she's looking forward to examining me in late August, to make sure everything's OK, and since I'm her first trans patient, to see the results of Dr. Bluebond-Langner's artistry. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step as the Chinese would say. That first step is what requires courage, and coming out to people for the first time. After that, you're just living the life you were meant to live.
    Last edited by Jeninus; 04-21-2019 at 08:25 PM.
    Shame on those who think ill of us -- Translated and paraphrased from the motto of the United Kingdom's Most Noble Order of the Garter

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State