Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 35

Thread: Are you bros with your gal pals?

  1. #1
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,664

    Are you bros with your gal pals?

    As a rule, I am. While I adore being dolled up and out and about, my being is fundamentally male. I tire quickly when the conversation focuses on "girl things" e.g., fashion, chick flicks, and the like. Even with my gal pals, be they genetic males or females, if we aren't discussing things that appeal to my dude side I get fidgety in a hurry.

    As a case in point I bring you my Texas Bestie, Sandy Clifton. We love our gal pal adventures but we're also bros for sure. Last weekend we got together for a group run and covered our usual topics - pro sports, college sports, athletics, politics, family, travel, and so forth. I tallied it up, and we've run over 60 miles together in the last 2 years; that's a lot considering we live 150 miles apart. Sometimes we discuss gal pal stuff but it's predominantly bro stuff.

    After the run just the two of us snuck off for breakfast tacos and the girl talk kicked in. Perhaps a bit odd for two adult bearded men to be discussing wigs and cleavage, but nobody around us was listening and besides what would it matter if they were?

    So, are you bros with your gal pals? Share your thoughts! Hugs, Michelle

  2. #2
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    I have lots of friends some are gal pals (GG) and some are CD gal pals.
    Some are bro pals and oh its way too complicated to go into details how I make it all work but I do.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,630
    Women can’t discuss sports, politics, family, travel so forth? As evidenced by this forum, there are plenty of men who like to talk about heels and makeup and corsets. You need to stop thinking in traditional gender roles and binary language. Its new times and very few things are strictly “male” or “female” anymore.

  4. #4
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,702
    Michelle, I'm going to go with Micki on this one. For example my wife can hold her own on alternative rock, sports, etc. Yeah I still talk about brewing, home repair, camping, hiking, pig roasting etc more than fashion, but I talk more about girl stuff than 90 Percent of guys I know. But most women I know tend to have pretty diverse subjects too.

  5. #5
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    The OC, California
    Posts
    5,919
    I totally get what Michelle is saying. A dear friend of mine once said that friendship needs to transcend the trans thing and I have found this to be 100% true in the lasting friendships that I have been blessed with.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  6. #6
    Southern Belle Phoebe Reece's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    1,386
    I can relate. My closest gal pals are also my closest guy pals. Conversations between us cover the gamut of both traditional feminine and masculine topics.
    Phoebe

  7. #7
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,843
    Oh please! I was bored with typical male boasting, meaningless blathering, and childish jokes eons before I began dressing!

    Women talk is simply the other side of that! Also bores me quickly.

    On the other hand, I can chat with other dressers all nite!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,053
    Not exactly. But I am sisters with a former dress shop SA who has become a dear friend. Every so often, I take an afternoon off work so we can have lunch and then go clothes shopping. That's what happened today. We had a great, long conversation then bought matching trenchcoats. I credit a lot of my boost in self confidence to her. She was one of the first to tell me I was a beautiful person and not a freak, then she taught me how to pick out the right clothes and how to assemble them into a presentable outfit.

  9. #9
    Junior Member ReneeTD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    Upper Delmarva
    Posts
    56
    Don't really have close CD friends, so it's hard to say what I'd even talk about. I'd likely be as quiet in such a setting as I am in all settings.

    No quicker way to turn me off in conversation than to shift to pro sports, college sports or athletics. No talent or interest in it. Zero.

    I'm not really sure what "gal pals" would talk about other than people and relationships. I can do that to a degree, though I avoid gossip type conversations.
    Last edited by char GG; 04-09-2019 at 04:22 AM. Reason: Reference to weapons or politics is not allowed

  10. #10
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    937
    I've met only one forum friend in male mode. I've met several in girl mode, not to mention dozens of girls not related to this forum. I wouldn't run and hide if I were to run into any of them in male mode, but I kind of prefer to keep it separate from the girl side. Maybe because I never really connected much with the whole "bro" thing.
    That's just me, anyway.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    12,771
    Don't have any cd friends per se, but if I did, I would tend to keep the separate.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  12. #12
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    1,912
    Gal pals when in femme for me

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    Mine are separate also gal pals when dressed and bros when in drab.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    14,303
    Michelle brings up a good point. My friends tend to fall into interest categories. I have friends who share a common history. Or a common interest. I have a lot of casual acquaintances and they remain such because there is no commonality to the relationship; neighbors for instance. I often wonder if I was to find a fellow CDer, whether there would be anything to the relationship other than we liked to wear women's clothing. Would that alone create a basis for a friendship?

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    734
    Like ReneeTD, I have absolutely zero interest in pro sports. Well, maybe the Tour de France but only superficially. Most typical male conversation bores me but I do have male friends and our conversations can get deep and philosophical or spiritual, or be about common technical interests, or about odds and sods like car/house repairs, health, etc. I do like to talk about the two sports I indulge in though, mountain hiking/snowshoeing and cycling. All of the male friends I keep are in this category.

    I tend to identify well with women and can converse easily with them.

    I have no CD friends that I have met live. And it isn't high on my priority because when I'm en femme, I prefer to identify as a woman and not be reminded that I'm not. Best time I ever had was in drab, with 3 women who worked for a supplier back in my work days, and who took me out to lunch; I was about 50 or so at the time, they were up to about 40. It was surreal, they let me into their "world" as if I was one of their girlfriends, talked about all sorts of things women talk about: giving birth, raising children, sex with their husbands (in a general way), female health issues, you name it. I wasn't wearing a stitch of female clothing at the time, but I have rarely felt as feminine since. They did not know about my proclivities. I guess I didn't seem threatening to them. Lovely time!

  16. #16
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Michelle ,
    I can bore most people on a range of subjects ! No seriously in my photography profession I had to have a broad range of subjects I could talk to people about and also tried to be a good listener , it was all to get people to relax when having their portrait taken .

    I must admit I hate the feeling from people intentionally excluding you from a conversation . Both my brother in laws are farmers , I try and keep up with the overall picture but it's pretty obvious that I'm only there to listen and not contribute , I then felt just as awkward chatting to the ladies in male mode , in the end I just enjoyed the good wine on offer and watched the TV , my wife said I was very quite on the way home , I just replied I was being very sociable with the wine bottle !!
    Last edited by Teresa; 04-09-2019 at 10:20 AM.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Orlando, Fl
    Posts
    624
    This was one of my earliest desires as a CD. To have a friend/buddy to do guy stuff with while dressed in fem or drab. Fact is that my wife is encouraging me towards the same. I'm not gay or bi curious and she knows that and trusts me.

    I'm not certain how to make it happen so ...if it's in the cards to be then it will be.

  18. #18
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Posts
    7,212
    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    As evidenced by this forum, there are plenty of men who like to talk about heels and makeup and corsets.
    Ahhh, yes, but how many guys love to get into conversations about babies, the lives of other women's children, relationships, commitment, and especially the 'what do you think he means when he does/says this', type of discussion? How about decorating the house? Picking out curtains/towels/furniture styles/paint colors? After going over the 27,000 possible different shades of white paint for our ceilings with one lady, along with the variable qualities of flat, semi gloss, gloss, I thought I was going blind and my head would explode.

    Ugh, I'd rather drill screws through my toes.

    Don't get me wrong, I do care for the women that I am close to. But for the life of me, I cannot stand discussing the same things over and over for hours.

    There is a cure, though. Start wearing a hearing aid. Just never turn it on. I can also blame my lack of response to near deafness due to tinnitis, which by it's very nature, can vary in intensity so you may be able to hear just fine on one day, and be overcome by the ringing and be almost deaf the next.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  19. #19
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    The OC, California
    Posts
    5,919
    This whole thing cracks me up. We are human beings with varying interests. I have crossed paths with CDers who are singularly focused on such things related to their craft and I find myself bored silly, hoping never to cross paths with them again. It's like it seems as if a part is being played when one cannot express any interest in something that might be considered manly (i.e. - sports), lest someone think one is less feminine than they profess to be. Seriously, let's go see the Vegas Golden Knights playing my Ducks in girl mode...right on!

    Clearly, it seems like a case of thou dost protest too much, or something like that. Women like sports. Women like many of the things that guys think they hold sacred and guess what? These pages are littered with dudes who are more obsessive about sacred women stuff than most women could ever be.

    God, I have some amazing friends. It starts with point of view but even that is different.

    K. Probably my most like-minded friend. Family, career, staving off transition in favor of both yet she has the coolest photographic edge where she can indulge in a wonderful lust for expression and attention. She helped me to get through some dark years by reminding me to stay grounded with respect to what is most important. K can be a bro that I run with if I liked running more and if we lived a bit closer. K and I have been gal pals. We have been bros. And we have stood proudly with one another as one of each. K, as S, did the most wonderful thing by attending with me the funeral of dear friend C. I could never ask for a better friend in either presentation.

    E. Fabulously successful, witty and a wonderful conversationalist. Someone who I had sensed would have a lot in common with me, and apparently vice-versa. I can only hope that I have added a fraction of the enrichment to her life as she has to mine. Our families have a remarkable similarity and this, along with music often dominates conversation. Despite my being in a wilderness of sorts of late, she and I have gotten together, gal pal & bro, with the only difference being expression. E is the epitome of middle path and perhaps defined it in the first place, a CD with a significant social presence.

    A. I'm looking at you. The most interesting man in the world is one of the most amazing, fearless women I know. To know her is to love her, just ask all of our friends. She opens up her home and we get to experience moments of being, whatever that might mean to us. I have floated in her pool. We have made dinner and drank fine signature cocktails to near excess. A is for awesome and we are so blessed to have you in our lives. I can never hear "Your Song" without thinking of you.

    S. OMG, we can only live in your world to touch a corner of it. Have we ever had a conversation about what it is to be CD, TG, TS or whatever it is that defines that part of us? If so, not so extensive. But we have talked endlessly about family and navigation to the point where I can only hope that I have offered some help to you because when all is said and done, you are one amazing person.

    D. OK, I'm cheating. You are a GG for lack of a better descriptive term. I love it that when you first encountered me, you knew damn well I was T-whatever but you thought I would be interesting and as such, you reached out to me. You have no idea what it did for my self-esteem as our friendship progressed. As much as I love and adore each of my friends above, you have to understand how much you have touched my life and more importantly, each and every one of us. I'm now listening to "Your Song" for you as well. For all my friends, how wonderful life is while you're in the world. Yours is a heart of gold.

    H, I mean J, I mean the name you are going by now. Another OMG, a flame burning so bright. What an amazing short Vegas trip we had following a connection on the basis of understanding one another plus family. You are such a gal pal bro in that you never hesitate to call me if it has been too long since we have spoken. And of course, I remain in your debt when it came to the advice you gave me regarding a career change a couple years ago. You may or may not have helped me to seal the deal but regardless, it worked and I will never forget that. Just as I will never underestimate your friendship.

    This is what it comes down to, true friendship. Meeting a CD and talking about nothing but such things is not likely to go far. Friendship isn't playing a part while wearing a costume. It has to be real and what I have described ever so briefly above is nothing but the real thing of which I couldn't be more grateful.

    My friends, I love you all. I want to emerge from this wilderness with each of you at my side. Vegas 2020???

    This includes you M(ichelle). How does so many years go by without crossing paths IRL? You and your gal pal crew will fit in so well with mine. We will talk sports and Jimmy Choo, maybe some running and perhaps an Elton John concert before he hangs up his glasses. This better happen in Vegas. Spring 2020, will you be there?
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  20. #20
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Eugene, Oregon, USA
    Posts
    1,793
    I am living full time as a woman, and I am definitely “one of the girls” among my gal pals. Not a “bro” at all. Most of them are lesbians. Some are into sports, be it playing women’s softball themselves, or cheering for the local college’s women’s basketball team. I am the cheerleader for the women’s softball team. I go to women’s basketball games with some of them, when invited, but admit that while I like seeing our team win, I am mostly interested in seeing a lively competition. Otherwise, we mostly talk about “women’s stuff”. And that includes “feminine problems”, like getting hot flashes with menopause, or using gadgets that allow a woman to pee standing up, while camping. We talk a lot about music and dancing. Sometimes about pets, cooking, or family stuff. The dykes don’t talk much about fashion or makeup, but they appreciate my fashion sense and makeup skills. The femmes or straight/bi gals chat freely with me about clothes, makeup, shoes and other girl stuff. Sometimes it turns to politics and social activism. But not at all like the typical conversations I used to have with my male friends, as a male.

  21. #21
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    SW Michigan
    Posts
    3,762
    I agree with sometimes_miss. Girl talk gets into subjects that don't interest me. There are women in my life that I enjoy talking with very much. But when I find myself with a group of women topics come up that have me feeling left out.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  22. #22
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    1,574
    For me it is basically boils down to the topic, I feel there are equal amounts of girl and boy topics I do well with. At my first GNO with maybe a dozen CDers, it was weird realizing they as much as they talk about clothes and makeup, they also talk about sports and cars. People talk about what they know and are interested in.

  23. #23
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,756
    What you're reminding me of is that it is so rare for us to know each other as a whole person. For me anyway, it's almost unheard of for ANYBODY to know the whole me, on either side of the aisle. I think it is incredibly healthy that some of you can talk about bras and makeup while both of you are in total guy mode! With very few exceptions, the male and female aspects of my life are so far apart that one doesn't know the other exists. It is a quantum leap in understanding and acceptance to make those things ONE life and ONE person.

  24. #24
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    1,664
    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post

    God, I have some amazing friends.
    SJ, thanks soooo much for sharing your lovely homage to your besties, so uplifting! And, thanks for understanding so completely what I was trying to convey in this thread. You and I have been chatting since 2011 and have made so many plans to meet up that just fell a bit short, but Spring 2020 in Las Vegas for sure. Book it, Danno! Hugs, Michelle

  25. #25
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2019
    Posts
    42
    Sometimes_miss,always misogynist!

    If you find that the majority of the population are so boring and repetitive that you can’t pay attention to us, I think the fault is more likely to be with you as the real common denominator.

    Women can and do discuss the same range of topics as men. Perhaps with you they realise you aren’t up to in-depth discussion - or perhaps your beliefs about women mostly being gold-digging *****s (as expressed in the shorts pocket conversation) or happy relationships being a fiction leak out and women you speak to are deliberately trying to shut off a real conversation with you.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State