Hi Victoria, I have to go with Teresa "My counsellor was astounded how I lived with the suppression for so long , to me it was like a cork in a bottle, at some point I knew something needed to happen . While others advise being careful who you tell sometimes you feel your mind is going to explode if you don't tell someone ." I was talking to a long time friend and it came tumbling out. He was brilliant, even asking what all the fuss was about! But I would also take Teresa's advice. "To tell a wife or partner needs careful planning , I decided to write it all down , it not only helped explain it to me but also offered a clearer picture , to blurt it out unprepared and then shrug your shoulders with a series of don't knows isn't the right way ." (Clever girl!! ) Feeling so relieved by the reception by my friend I told my partner of 16 years that evening (I hadn't read Teresa's advice then) and everything I was going to say in my mind disappeared - I went blank - so write it down!
That was only a couple of weeks ago so we're still dealing with the fall out. I had known my partner for nearly 40 years and it completely changed her perception of me, macho ex squaddie now running around in women's clothes, takes a bit to get your head round. What it has meant is that we started to talk, really talk, maybe we should have talked more in the past. My counsellor was surprised and pleased as she thought I was getting suicidal - no it hadn't crossed my mind.
I'm not sure how our relationship will end up but as Teresa said (again - copy right?) "the bottom line is we cannot live with the issue indefinitely , it's mentally destructive . We have to shake off the male straightjacket and accept part of us is female , it is a very strong driving force , and it will never go away ." I know I have a lot of self discovery to do and the denial is still a problem. Watch this space! Good luck!