So..after 50 years of occasional crossdressing, including 30 years with my ex-wife..I finally slipped up and was discovered by my SO. I imagined that if this ever happened, I would lose everything and not want to live..but I kept taking the risk (about once a year) anyway, despite my general disgust for my habit, which I've always viewed as an affliction, and hoped to take to my grave as my only secret.
I was mortified to learn that she now knew(she found pics on my phone I had forgotten to delete): shame, embarrassment, anguish, regret, all washed over me..I fully expected to lose everything..but so far I'm shocked to learn that she feels that it does not affect our lives (I told her everything)..she was empathetic, and said that besides my keeping it from her(I was afraid to lose her over this), what bothered her the most is that I have had to bear this burden alone for my whole life..I've never told a soul. This was 4 days ago. Unless she has a sudden reversal..she said she is glad that the reveal is behind us, and that things will be better than ever. I told her truthfully that I have always hated this about myself, have never wanted or needed acceptance, only did it about once a year, and saw the fact that she knows (I hate the thought that she saw those pictures of me..and hope they fade from her memory)as remewed motivation to finally bury Julie for good. I know the percentages..I have gone up to 4 years without dressing, and not missed it..but it has always come back. So I expect the urge will return (I have none now)..but..I am determined to resist when it does..so although I may visit here from time to time to help process things..I sincerely hope that the photos I just posted of my last outing are just that..my last.
I wish you all the best on whatever path your journey leads you.
