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Thread: Coming back to things

  1. #1
    Crossdressing Pilgrim KellyGCD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2018

    Coming back to things

    Hi everyone,

    It's been a while since I've last posted but it's definitely been a journey since then. Shortly after I last posted, I revealed to my wife this other side of me. At first she was hurt that I kept it a secret from her, but over time she has come to accept this side of me more and more. It's still a long journey and it's certainly still something we are working through but at least there's more acceptance than before.

    Needless to say, because of our conversations I haven't been dressing up almost at all, due to feeling guilt and shame that all of these conversations have stirred within me, but I am slowly getting back into things. My wife has certainly more understanding and has been empathetic with what I've been going through.

    Today was the first day in a long while that I wore panties, and I'm slowly making my way towards fully dressing up again. I'm hopefully going to be doing a little shopping with a close friend of mine (who knows about this side and is my fashion expert) next week that hopefully will result in some cute new outfits.

    I'm slowly getting back into things but it's still a long road ahead. I hope to one day be like a lot of you and feel confident in this side of me to go out dressed in public, but I'm not quite there yet. Any advice and support is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Southern California
    Confidence to go out comes from confidence in your appearance, and that comes from practice practice practice. Also, never stop learning new techniques and skills. Good luck

  3. #3
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    New England
    Hi Kelly,

    I'm glad to hear that your wife is becoming more accepting. My wife found out about my dressing about two and a half rats ago and it had been a long slope process for us too. I wish you the best of luck.

    It's just the clothes... isn't it?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Kelly, it is good that you have come clean with your wife, the lack of interest comes from new activities and freedom of mind you now have.

    It will all come back again I assure you.

    All the best with your new found relationship. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK

    The forum is packed with posts similar to yours were members express their feelings of guilt. This is totally understandable. Society has imposed a set of norms that we've dared to stray beyond.

    One good thing is it shows empathy with how your SO is feeling but as you say she's coming to terms with it, now showing her empathy for your situation.

    No doubt you've read this so many times but baby steps are the way forward. Your desire and being comfortable with it are likely to return quicker than your SO's ability to process it. Hence take things slowly. Seek her opinion and definitely keep her in the loop.

    If you're going to start buying things then make sure your SO is okay with it. If your income is sufficient to facilitate that without putting a strain on the household finances then all's good. If money is tight then arguments over spending have proven to be a big factor in divorces.

    As for your style guide, have you considered that you might be married to one? Including your SO in your buying choices could be one way of building that trust once more. A couple that shops together.........

  6. #6
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Texas Hill Country
    I agree Hellen, take it very slow / baby steps. Talk to the wife, proceed with her, too fast will typically make a bad situation. I have been wanting to be female for about 58 years now 63 years old so do no consider me to be a cross dresser. But been with my wife for 40 years, and will say it still works. As myself and wife age, I lost weight due to health issues, my wife due to health issues has gained weight, thus going out I do not want to over dress. Blending is th key, she does make comments on how I good I look. Especially how my butt looks.
    Last edited by Michelle1955; 04-13-2019 at 06:39 AM.

  7. #7
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    Kelly, I'm glad your wife is accepting. Just move slowly.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  8. #8
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    San Francisco Peninsula
    Kelly- It might help to realize that shaming, and the consequent internalization as guilt, are tools used by parents and teachers and other authorities to enforce gender performance on children. They are very damaging and emotionally violent, which ironically only indicates the frustration the enforcers feel. The urge for gender non conformity keeps popping up despite telling kids what is expected of them.

    When we look back we can see how many times we or our friends may have wanted cross gender privileges- only to be met with scorn and threats- and why??? The enforcers didn't have a case- so they just threatened instead.
    We are all beautiful...!

  9. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Hi Kelly , Now that the Ball is in yourWife's Court, Go slowly and don't overwhelm her with your Crossdressing.

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid ...+..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

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