Feminine / female feelings

[Stephanie47]

Time to get into the deep end of the pool. I can only attest to the feeling wearing women's clothing brings to me. It's a feeling of peace and tranquility. Maybe I am different. I do not sit around and gush over makeup and nail polish. I don't know any women who do sit around and gush. I do see women who IMHO waste too much time and money perfecting claws with all sorts of decorations on their finger tips. Is that feminine? My wife does not bother with nail polish. I've never in almost fifty years seen her put nail polish on her toenails. I cannot remember the last time she wore polish on her fingernails. Her use of makeup has been limited to lip gloss. Most of the time she has no lip gloss. Perhaps males ascribe attributes to femininity based on a male mindset. Dare to ask your wife or girlfriend how she feels when she is having her period? Feminine? Or when she goes through labor pains?

What is masculinity? Dragging knuckles along the ground and bashing a woman's head with a club and dragging her back to the cave? Thinking women are no more than sexual gratification objects? Over the years/decades I've done many things and probably more than others that are ascribed to be part of a masculine role. I do not recall feeling "like a man" when I did them.

The best I can relate to the OP question is I like to believe, if I was a woman, this is what I would wear and how I would appear. It has nothing to do with feeling feminine.

[laura.lapinski]

KrissyP You did a great job of articulating a point I can well agree with.

[Ressie]

When I said that it wasn't my original thought. There was a GG that pointed this out on this forum a few years ago. And it made my realize that what I was feeling was the way I imagined a woman would feel. I really doubt that women get the same feelings (that some of us do) from putting on a new dress or other article of clothing.

I could say I feel feminine in the figurative sense, but I can't say that I literally feel feminine. No one wants to say "I feel effeminate" which would be more accurate IMO.

[April Rose]

Ressie, I have been thinking about that a lot lately, and have been trying to "own" my effeminacy. Oddly enough, effeminacy has been no easier to pin down than femininity.

I haven't been working on the problem from this viewpoint long enough to have a fully informed opinion, but I am beginning to suspect this is all; part of a larger, sociological situation that everyone is having to deal with in their own way.

[Peggie Lee]

Being intersex I’ve learned that the some but not all feelings of men and women are hormonal driven, at 13 I was on Testosterone, it change how I would react to people and situations as typical male and when I was off HRT I would change back. I’m now on estrogen and feel more feminine than ever before.

[docrobbysherry]

I think we r getting somewhere now with these deeper posts.

They may explain why I find seeing an attractive woman in my mirror so important. And, why I go to so much effort to present as one. It's both sexual AND allows me to visualize myself as a woman with no male traces visible. Then, maybe fantasize I'm feeling like one, too?

[ReineD]

I grew up in the 60s and 70s, an era that was just coming out of the wide gender inequality of the late 40s and 50s, when men took their jobs back in manufacturing plants after WWII while women returned to the home, wore dresses and made the baby boomer generation. These remnant gender role attitudes were present in my youth and at that time, I would have said that "feeling feminine" meant feeling protected and taken care of by a man. I wouldn't have characterized "feeling feminine" based on what I was wearing, since I would have felt that way whether I was wearing a dress or blue jeans, wearing or not wearing makeup.

No more. lol

I've grown up since then, had a career, raised a family, and got a divorce. I learned how to live without a man's finances and physical protection. I dare say that modern young women (most of whom work even after having kids), also can survive well on their own compared to the women of the 1950s. The world has changed. The wide gender gap that existed in my youth is no longer there. So terms like "feeling feminine" and "feeling masculine" I think only come up on websites such as this one. Most people not members here just "feel as themselves".

I always feel the same, no matter what I wear. I do feel a gender difference mostly when I want to accomplish a physical task that is beyond my physical strength and need someone stronger (usually a male) to help me. But, I don't engage in these tasks often. And needing help does not make me feel more feminine, it just makes me feel as if I should work out more so I can do more for myself. lol

So I suspect that "feeling feminine" for many members here means feeling wonderful when wearing makeup and skirts, which I suspect crossdressers enjoy much more than GGs. I can guarantee that most GGs don't feel that way when they wear makeup or skirts. For us, wearing makeup and skirt is utilitarian and getting dressed up feels the same as any guy who gets dressed up for one occasion or another. Some people love looking magazine-worthy, while some people can't wait to get out of the constrained clothing (dresses & hose or suits and ties) and get back to their comfy clothes. Feeling feminine or masculine doesn't come into it.

[GretchenM]

Thank you Reine, that really helps a great deal. It is pretty much what my wife says and it is pretty much what my cisgender males say. And there in lies some of the problem. Those of us who are trans to some extent or other really cannot relate to what it feels like to have only one identity that is very much the same all the time. We can't because we aren't. Similarly, cisgender people can't feel what it is like to sometimes feel that you are totally, mostly, or partly a person of what society calls the opposite gender. There is no way for us to feel cisgender any more than it is possible for cisgender to know what it feels like for us.

As for the good feelings when you, if male, are expressing feminine/female that starts with the brain generating expectations that are not being met. Those portions that generate gender feelings transmit some gender reversed sense to the pre-frontal cortex (PFC) for implementation. They then switch to checking sensory input to see if the feedback meets expectations - checking up on the PFC to see if it is following instructions. If it doesn't detect confirmation then trouble starts and dysphoria sets in until the "gender control room" sees images and other sensory information coming in that shows that there is compliance with the expectation. When that is detected then the technician in the control room presses the endorphine button which floods the brain with feel good chemicals. You have produced a complete loop from control room to implementation to sensory confirmation and you are richly rewarded with feel good chemicals. Chocolate does the same thing in some people. Lots of things do that. But for us, putting on lipstick when the feeling arises creates good return feelings. Perfectly normal. Our motivation is just a bit different from other people. Why? Because there is something different about our brains, whether genetic, hormonal, learned, experiential, or any combination thereof and that is the way our brains work. The details still need to be worked out though and that is the job of science.

[Teresa]

Reine,
It's possibly a case of familiarity breeds contempt , I admit getting dressed for my social meetings doesn't give me the same buzz anymore not unless it's a special occasion , I now feel just as good wearing a skirt or jeans doing my gardening or slipping on a skirt and quick makeup to go down to the shops and supermarket . I do admit it is lovely to have the best of both Worlds if I really need to , I still have the physical strength and knowhow to do certain jobs but wearing old dirty male working clothes is done under sufferance , it's not a sexual thing , it just feels so alien .

Women did go through a strange period during and after WW2 . They had the mixed feelings of being freed from the kitchen sink to don overalls and take a man's place , they were then given the opportunity to resume the more natural role after the war , to have their man back and resume the role of being taken care of and allowed to dress more feminine . So which did they prefer ? Some possibly never did resume that role because so many men didn't return . I feel the truth is many women did miss the feminine side , the clamour for for more attractive clothes after the austerity years made that fairly clear but the seed was also sown for women to be more independant and take on the men for more of the top jobs . Does it beg the question modern man has become more feminised or at least have the genders become closer as the roles are more equally shared ?

[docrobbysherry]

Thank u, Reine, Gretchen, and Teresa for all your insightful, thot invoking posts!

Reine, I miss your input when u post the rare comment. Your fem insight and the way u clearly explain things r unique!
Thank u!

[fiona de wilde]

An interesting thread is this. My personal experience is that I absolutely feel different when I put female clothes on. A skirt, a bra, a dress, it does something to me. Not when I'm wearing a skirt in combination with my normal t-shirt, but when I complete the transformation. The lipstick and makeup is less important to me than the wig and the clothes. The real moment of the transformation, and the fulfillment of the desire, is the moment that I look into the mirror when I'm fully dressed. It seems that at that point I instantly change into Fiona, which means that I am more relaxed, more soft and more sensitive. I can't explain it, but it works for me this way.

[SaraLin]

SaraLin, That puts an interesting spin on this thread.

thanks, I try

Seriously though - while it's hard to explain - what convinced me it wasn't just imagination was the different mindset. Here's my best effort at describing that difference..

(keep in mind that these 'memories' are all from older days and attitudes have changed)
my "feminine" memories are best described as: <my> identity was defined through my relationship with others (boyfriend, children, husband, etc) They were my life.
My current lifetime seems best described this way: my identity is defined through my ability to contribute (provider, fix things, kill bugs, etc.)
Of course, my "gender issues" tend to skew things. For example - you'll notice that stereotypical traits like leadership or dominance aren't on my ID list.

[Jenny22]

The replies to my post have been most interesting. To me, feeling like a woman (female) or feeling girly in not the same as feeling feminine for a M2F CDer or trans person. Such feeling feminine instances come about, in my opinion, when something special occurs that gives a tingle, so to speak, that is rarely felt and is special at the time. For me, one such feeling occurred this past Monday when I had a manicure, and toe nails polished all in a beautiful red. Believe me, I felt truly feminine.

[Lindseynrva]

Feeling feminine to me is the Experience of dressing in my soft clothes, lingerie and enjoying the feeling of the materials and the shape of my body with the enhancement from my breast forms, those are very feminine feelings. Now I’ve also enjoyed a deeper dive at times having more of a full experience which includes all the above however adds a partner to the mix, male or female, and if you have ever gone down the sexual side of things with a partner then you can enjoy feeling much more feminine as I did in my role.

It’s all about the journey and the experiences we have. We are fortunate to have a forum in which we can safely share.

[Beverley Sims]

Just being dressed does it for me.

[Patience]

Being born must feel the same regardless of gender. Dying too.

Apart from the obvious sensations brought about by physiology, why should the others be so different? We’re the same biological species, after all.

[NancySue]

I’m not sure what defines “feminine feelings”, but the inner tingling/butterflies I experience is a definite sign that I need/want to dress, beginning with any form of nylon stockings. After slipping on my hose, the tingling increases and there’s no turning back. When dressed, I see myself in my full length mirror. I look for adjustments, if any...a smile completes the journey and I still can feel the butterflies. I’ve asked my wife if she feels any special feelings when dressing. She said..dressing daily...no, but when dressing for a special occasion and everything falls in place, she has positive feelings. I asked if she would describe her feelings as being feminine. She said....yes. My conclusion is...yes, because my feelings and hers seem to be similar, when I’m dressed, I’m experiencing my form of femininity....which is very enjoyable.

[Wendy me]

Ok I get it big time heels... boots female footwear omg my weakness for sure now heels sky high and sexy omg i get the shoe rush the right pair of heels my heart beats harder... faster ...looking at those come **ck me heels got to have them need to have them now over to shop for a outfit to go with them yar I feel it I get it ....

[Jodie_Lynn]

What are "feminine/female feelings"?
Can we get a list?

And, for shizz & giggles, what are "masculine/male feelings"?

[Jenny22]

Jodie, perhaps your question should have been "what gives YOU feminine feelings?" We're not female so we really can't express feelings a female might have.
Why don't you start, and we'll see what ensues.

[Rayleen]

The way I see it is that there is as many genders as there are people, so everyone are unique in their behavior and feelings.

[BTWimRobin]

My wife and I have been talking more openly lately and this came up in conversation yesterday. She said that if you truly want to feel feminine you need look inside yourself because it comes from the heart. It's the nurturing, loving, caring, all inclusive feelings that women have. Being feminine to her has nothing to do with what society and the media dictate femininity to be. It has nothing to do with the clothes, shoes and makeup.

She went on to say if my goal is to express my feminine side, I already do it because I express those internal characteristics in my normal everyday activities. The feelings experienced by crossdressing are completely different from really feeling feminine on the inside. To her clothes are just clothes while to me they represent an experience.

Just my YMMV

[Aunt Kelly]

This! While not every woman exhibits the traits your wife lists, and some genetic makes do, a combination of socialization and instinct, it's fair to call those common feminine feelings. It is even more noteworthy that these things have nothing to do with trappings.