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Thread: Feminine / female feelings

  1. #1
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    Feminine / female feelings

    In response to the 'attraction feelings' post. Ressie commented, "I don't know what feminine feels like since I'm not a woman." Hmmmm. I propose that any type of M2F trans person CAN feel feminine due to the excitement of a special moment or that tingling feeling you get from something feminine that really pleased you.

    What might yours be?

    For me, my nails and first ever real shopping outing en femme yesterday made me feel very feminine... Very!

  2. #2
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I haven't a clue what women, cats, or whales feel like.

    But, I KNOW what women look like and I have mirrors! So, I usually go for appearance over feelings. I'm a man after all?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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    Your first outing is a milestone but don't read too much in to it.
    You are projecting what you think a woman feels like but there is no way you will ever know.
    You are free to enjoy being out and about I know I enjoy it.

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    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I bet if you asked a hundred different women what "feminine" feels like, you would get a hundred different answers.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

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    I have to go with Sherry on this. I have been a man for over 72 years now; and just because I like to
    wear Woman's clothes, does not make me a Woman. I just appear to look a little like one. I feel that
    by wearing Panties, Bra, a Dress, I can at least find out what it feels like to a woman to wear there
    clothes. I know that being in the closet does not give me much to go on, but I at can relate to does that
    do get all dressed up and go out. I just wish I could try it some day myself.
    Rader

  6. #6
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    By that same token, how could I truly say what a 'man' feels like? I can only say what *I* feel like.

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    A question as to feelings .. if a female loves the feeling of freshly applied lipstick, and a man does too, since the lipstick is for females, isn't the man experiencing a feminine feeling? This is the type of thing I was relating to.
    If a man fully en femme gets a warm hug from a man after a wonderful evening out, and she feels the warmth of the hug as a female would, isn't that a feminine feeling?

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    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    This gets... complicated. So what about women who DON’T like makeup? Wouldn’t that then make NOT wearing lipstick also a feminine feeling? The high heels and hose so many girls are fond of here we’re originally men’s clothes. Does that make wearing those things masculine feelings?

    The very heart of the problem is that you can never know what “women” feel, because every woman is different. Any time you say “women are...” “women do...” or “women have...” you’re creating a false narrative because you assume that there are things that are both fundamental and universal to being a woman and quite frankly this is NO universal truth about either gender.

    So to answer your questions, no. Those are feelings. They have no gender and they can be experienced by both sexes. The only things that make them “masculine” or “feminine” are old outdated societal standards of segregation.
    Last edited by Micki_Finn; 04-30-2019 at 06:05 PM.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    This is a very touchy subject here! I think a man can feel feminine but not female! Experiences such as pregnancy and child birth are beyond men as is that time of the month! I have felt that "tingling" feeling at times also! It has been as simple as a certain body position when I threw away a piece of trash or looking down at my polished toes! I asked my therapist about this! Her reaction was sure why not! She of course agrees that giving birth, etc are not something we can experience! Feeling feminine and feeling like a female are not the same thing! I know I will probably catch a lot of flack but so be it! That will not change my opinion! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
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    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    As genetic males, we can't ever 'exactly' know how it feels to be a women. The closest we can get, is reports from MTF transsexuals who start on hormone therapy. Many have written that they experience mood changes which seem to be unrelated to anything going on in their life, which is different from what they experienced as males. This corresponds to a lot of female youtube users videos which reflect the same phenomenon. Sudden episodes of sadness and crying for which they cannot determine the reasons.
    Most men never experience this. Sure, we get sad, even cry, but to us, the cause is always pretty obvious.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    A question as to feelings .. if a female loves the feeling of freshly applied lipstick, and a man does too, since the lipstick is for females, isn't the man experiencing a feminine feeling? This is the type of thing I was relating to.
    If a man fully en femme gets a warm hug from a man after a wonderful evening out, and she feels the warmth of the hug as a female would, isn't that a feminine feeling?
    We don't know. We can't know. Because we are not females; we don't have the brain which developed under different chemical and hormonal conditions, and we do not have the same of those conditions now, either, even if we have been taking female hormones. It's like asking if we can experience what it's like to be a fish, to live and breath underwater because we can wear a scuba apparatus and go underwater for long periods. It's different. Just ask the fish. Or, in this case, the woman. women's minds are set up differently due to all the years of development under a different set of physical, chemical and hormonal conditions. That's what makes them different.
    Women interpret the world differently. They use speech differently. And their relationships are different.

    Think for a moment. How may men would you think would find it perfectly normal to have sex, if he knew beforehand that he would not have an orgasm? Pretty much none. Yet, hundreds of millions of women do it every day. And for them, it's considered within the realm of something normal. Plenty of women don't come every time they have sex. Most men would go nuts if they didn't; in fact, even occasional non orgasmic episodes are usually extremely upsetting to men, and often the women they're having sex with, as well. Not coming is simply not 'manly' in our society.
    There are plenty of other things about women that seem foreign to men. Try one of the Pease' books such as https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Listen-W...s%2C124&sr=8-1

    to learn some of the differences which come about from growing up female.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 04-30-2019 at 06:23 PM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  11. #11
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    I have seen many MtF trans people say things like this because they think they have to.

  12. #12
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    I've heard it said on this site and previously that gender identity is a spectrum. We use the words 'feminine" and/or "masculine" to describe a whole set of mannerisms, gesticulations, actions, clothing, and all the internal and external stimuli that we associate with these terms, both inwardly, culturally, and perhaps even biologically.

    "Femininity" and "Masculinity" are not the sole domain of GGs nor GMs, if we're all in the spectrum, we all have the capacity to experience one, the other, both, or perhaps neither. We can use these imperfect words to describe these experiences and emotions, and might even come close to the mark even if we're separated by a 'common' language.

    Words, regardless of how intricately rendered, often fall short of conveying internal feelings and the best we cab do as human beings is open up our mutual empathy to one another and seek how someone else's words of their experiences translate for each of us within our own experiences.

    Yes, I do feel feminine. I suppose I could describe the hows and whys, and some would find commonality within that. Others would realize that at times we are like the blind men describing their encounter with an elephant.

    In the mean time, I'm glad to be here. Glad to share my experiences and bask in yours! Even if, at times, the GGs on the site are giggling at the blind men describing an elephant

    So here I am. Feeling feminine right now. Based on my internal associations and cultural conditioning. Is it wrong? I doubt it. It's for me and yet I'm glad to share it with you.

  13. #13
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macey View Post
    By that same token, how could I truly say what a 'man' feels like? I can only say what *I* feel like.
    I prefer this answer to your latter one, Macey. Because I truly DON'T know what men feel like! Just what I feel like!

    Do I feel masculine hitting the home run that wins the game? Defeating another wrestler? Having sex with a woman? Aren't those ALL things women can and do experience? I've experienced them but NEVER thot of them as masculine experiences!

    I often feel SEXY when I become Sherry. A lot more sexy than Robert ever did. But, do females feel the way I do when they feel sexy? I doubt it! They feel sexy as women. I feel sexy as a man looking like a woman.

    If u want to believe u, "feel like a woman"? Good for u!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    I doubt I'd know what feeling 'like a woman' is like. Only that I feel 'feminine' … and, of course, it's all very subjective!

  15. #15
    Member KrissyP's Avatar
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    Sometimes it seems we can all over-think things. "No one can know what anyone else is feeling because you are not that person" has little validity in my experience. Recently I lost my mom. We all feel grief and it falls on a spectrum, but we can relate to certain elements so much so that science and psychologists have developed a standard process of grief. Sure there are outliers, but we can have true empathy and share in the experience of others be they male or female.

    Over the last few months I have been able to grow my hair out for the first time. Recently I have been learning how to straighten my very curly hair and style it using blow dryers and curling irons. While I am not a woman, I now share the frustration and pleasure of getting my hair to do what I want it to do in ways that a man with short hair or a masculine style would not. So in this small way, I share in the experiences of many females. It doesn't make me a female, but if anyone wants to talk about how much it stings to burn your ear with a curling iron I can very much participate in the discussion! Just like I have a new appreciation for shoes and how good it sometimes feels to take them off at the end of the day. I certainly can feel some of the things a woman can even though it doesn't "make" me a woman. And those experiences broaden my understanding of the female perspective.

    Let's just relax and enjoy our shared experiences. Happy to be here and learn and participate with all of you.
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    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny22 View Post
    I propose that any type of M2F trans person CAN feel feminine due to the excitement of a special moment or that tingling feeling you get from something feminine that really pleased you.
    Women don't get feminine feelings from "things" or "moments". I don't dispute that many of us in the TG community get some kind of feeling from this or that stimulus, but it strikes me as more than a bit of a stretch to say that "That's what women feel like."
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
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    I agree Kelly To me its the old projection thing that CDs do sometimes.
    When I hear a CD say "this piece of clothing makes me feel girly" I think how would they know?
    Last edited by Tracii G; 04-30-2019 at 10:08 PM.

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    I spent twelve years, in total, as an interviewer. Or what used to be called an interrogator. Both in a law enforcement setting and a military one. I have interviewed women from North, South and Central America. Africa, Asia, and Europe. There are cultural differences; to be sure. However; women, typically, do think in different ways than your average man does. Occasionally you meet men whose thought patterns are feminine and vice versa. There is a reason that the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" sold so well.

    While there is a spectrum in the way that men and women think, there is also a recognized typical response. When going into an interview you will typically have one set of rules and responses for men and another for women. Yes; you have to adjust based on the individual. However; the vast majority of people fall into the male and female "thought patterns" categories.

    Can a man feel like a woman? Sure. I've seen in a professional capacity. I have had to shift my "patter" from what i would typically use with one sex to a person of the opposite sex. Not very often mind you, but enough to know it happens.

    Womens brains ARE different from mens; in a physical sense. Ask anybody with anatomy training. It is fair to assume that these physical difference have a bearing on how the brain functions. Where then are those people who are born male, yet have a female brain? And vice versa. I suspect that this is the foundation to those who identify as trans sexual. Rather than as a crossdresser. It may well be why most crossdressers don't understand most ts people.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Yes, Michelle. There is some clinical evidence (though far from conclusive or complete) that TS brains are more like those of their cis counterparts. It's an interesting avenue for research that will, I suspect, be largely unexplored because of the scarcity of sample subjects. Anyway, if we proceed with that assumption, that the TS subject already "feels feminine", innately. For us, it's not about the clothes, or the hair, or the makeup as a stimulus, the way it is for so many crossdressers. The responses in this thread would seem to indicate that, as a group, they do indeed respond to those stimuli, but I'd call it that response something other than "feeling like a girl".
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
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  20. #20
    Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    You are projecting what you think a woman feels like but there is no way you will ever know.
    I'd argue differently.

    I've had flashbacks to prior lives and quite clearly remember what it felt like. I've felt everything from the pain and desperation of losing children to disease, to the forbidden joy of making love (first time) on a hillside - on a gentle spring day. But though it seems rather mundane, one of the clearest "memories" was the excitement and simple joy of knowing that my new husband was coming home from work soon. It's hard to put into words, but it was definitely a "feminine" - or at least female feeling.

    Of course, feel free to discount my experiences and call them all fantasy, delusion, or whatever you like. It doesn't bother me.

  21. #21
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    SaraLin, That puts an interesting spin on this thread.
    Crissy

  22. #22
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
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    Females are assigned and taught to be feminine, and their feeling that it is natural for them and pleasure in it varies, just like the corresponding experiences of males taught to be men. So even though 'feminine' is often thought of as what females are and do, it is more accurate to define it as one pole of the human character spectrum. For example, receptive v assertive, listening compassionately vs exhorting , etc.

    CDs are enjoying what females often enjoy, and often go to lengths to conform our body appearance to that of females, as a way of heightening the experience of femininity. With or without that, we can experience a lot of what females experience, and have very similar feelings. That's a wonderful outcome. If we don't assume others are claiming to be exactly like a female, the need for these arguments goes away.

    Let's all enjoy our expressions of femininity!

    A lot of the things CDs like that females wear and do are things that are meant to frame the female body as sexually attractive, and that cause confuses the interpretation of our CDing in the minds of observers, and the rejection. It is only when they also separate feminine from female that the dilemma is resolved.
    Last edited by phili; 05-01-2019 at 06:47 AM.
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  23. #23
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Wow, what a wonderful thread. And such wonderful responses. The fact is nobody really knows what someone else feels. However, there is a basis for feeling masculine or feminine, but the foundation is very deep and subconscious. In neurology, it has been known for some time that our conscious minds only get the final results from calculations that occur in our subconscious mind. In effect, the prefrontal cortex is the implementer of what the rest of the brain figures out, but we are not aware of all that went on to make those decisions. Thus, they say there is no such thing as a conscious decision; there are only conscious actions that result from subconsciously created decisions.

    In behavior genetics, the first principle is that all behavior is ultimately rooted in genetics. But the rules of behavior that behavior are rooted in genetics are modified by experience and choices that create a behavior that is consistent with what the brain calculates is appropriate. If it is not appropriate we have a conscious feeling that we have done something wrong. You feel "dysphoric."

    Thus, the typical male and female brain is mostly the same, but has some critical structures that are quite different in typical males and females. Thus they function differently and apparently in a way that allows males and females to create cooperative relationships with different but somewhat overlapping roles. Those roles are the basis of gender behavior differences. However, that is only the foundation; the real important parts are adaptive to circumstances and experiences and memory of what worked before. Thus females, because of female structure in the brain, follow different role rules from those that males follow. Women have richer emotional experiences because their traditional, evolutionary roles were as care givers where emotional sensitivity was critical to survival favored that behavior pattern. Men developed in different pathways that served in their traditional, evolutionary roles as protectors and hunters of food. Those original role definitions are no doubt still present, but in the modern world they tend to be less important than they were in the not so distant past.

    However, with over 3,500 genes of the 20,000 or so genes that define us dedicated in some way to gender behavior (i.e. gender identity) errors, even tiny errors, can modify what comes out in the way of behavior. Thus, we see a vast diversity in gender behaviors that is the gender spectrum. A male brain can be configured to produce behaviors that are much like those that females exhibit. But such a brain is not a female brain. Therefore, it cannot produce the same "feelings" that a female brain can, and visa versa. But any deviation from the ideal structure for each sex can produce some feelings that are similar to those experienced by the opposite sex and their brains. So, although a male cannot fully experience what a female feels, a male is perfectly capable of feeling some of what a female feels.

    Once those feelings are sensed we adapt our behaviors to fit, to whatever extent produces consistent feedback from the subconscious brain, as to what those feelings expect. Thing is, CD and TG people probably don't experience the complete opposite gender behavior role package. It is mostly just bits and pieces and in some people it is larger bits and pieces than in others. So we get a sub-spectrum in the CD/TG world.

    Is all of this true? Well, probably not completely, but this is where the research seems to be headed. In the end it might be rather different as there is still a vast amount not known in detail about what creates gender behaviors that are so well defined between males and females and yet tend to cross-over a great deal in a lot of people. That cross-over process might be increasing in prevalence because there is so little pressure in the evolutionary process to keep roles very defined. Thus the modern world allows much more crossing over than was present in the past. In other words, the genetic behavior in humans is shifting toward a somewhat more psychologically androgynous pattern and away from a pattern that demanded more defined roles. Time will tell.

    So this is my contribution that has resulted from 6 1/2 years of reading and studying the scientific literature and fitting it together in a fashion that satisfies my biologist mind as well as my own gender role reconciliation. Your mileage may vary. It is the nature of the beast. The answers are coming, but it might be awhile, even quite awhile. Each little discovery though provides more clarity in where this behavior comes from.

  24. #24
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    There are some great responses here. Gretchen went above and beyond and I'm really intrigued by the past lives angle.

    That said, I think there is in fact a lot of projection that goes on. Heck, if a Shania Twain song can make one feel like a woman, then all bets are off. Thing is, I've been lucky to have experienced this holy grail. I call these "moments of being" and it has little to do with wearing a particular piece of clothing, makeup, etc. Instead, it is where the stars aligned in my presentation, time, place, weather, my own mental state, and gosh knows what else because it has been so long since I've felt such a moment. One thing I know for certain, the root of this feeling is peace above all else. Peace of mind. Alignment of mind, body and spirit.

    I've experienced this alone and also with friends. It is real and it is sublime. I only wish it were easier to recreate and sustain.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  25. #25
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    I get where the I feel like a woman or i feel feminine comes from. There is deffinatly a change in mood and feeling when I am dressed. As it has been said i know i am not a woman so i cant say i feel like a women. However i do think saying I feel more feminine fits.

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