Being realistic !

[GretchenM]

Thanks Teresa. Not so sure such a conversation and interchange like you had with the SAs would happen so easily over on this side of the pond. In some communities I can imagine it happening, but I suspect in most the reactions would not be so friendly.

I have never been to Europe, but my sense is that in much of Europe (not all) people are more accepting of differences, but with limitations and boundaries, than is the case here. Hard not to be when everyone is exposed to so many different kinds of people from so many small countries with widely varying histories and sub-cultures. We have plenty of sub-cultures here, but usually they cover rather large geographic areas and interaction is often more around the fringes than deep into the sub-culture community. We have a large valley here in Colorado that has a Hispanic history that pre-dates the Pilgrims and that valley is larger than some European countries. Spanish is the primary language there.

So, I conclude that if you do make some inquiries of SAs I would love to hear about their reactions. As to whether it is rude or not, I will leave that to your judgement. Over here, in my area anyway, I don't think it would be viewed as being polite. But here is not there.

[Teresa]

Gretchen,
I feel you've made the point well , there are differences possibly down to the isolation factor .
As you can read from my last reply the SAs appear to meeting me on this issue possibly because of the TG situation having more publicity . Maybe it's also down to my personality , openly chatting and having a laugh with them does open the door far more , I've possibly been suppressed far too long .

[Beverley Sims]

Teresa,
You have come up with some good ideas, this one I consider is fairly low on the scale. :-)

Have a little think about it.

I don't like telephone pollsters at election time.

It wastes mine. :-)

[t-girlxsophie]

As a shop worker last thing I want is to answer a time consuming questionnaire,just get on with your shop and help towards paying my wages

As for passing I don't ,I'm under no illusions about that.But I believe most SA's these days are so well versed in diversity training they feel no difference between serving me or any other shopper

[Starling]

Like so many here, I can pass pretty well in photos, but real life is something else. Nonetheless, I find being myself to be empowering, and when I am in public I think my confidence and good cheer win me "normal" treatment. That's now, when I know who I really am and have a number of friends who have spent time with me.

But when I first began shopping regularly for the clothes I really like, about ten years ago, I would order them online from Penney's, and pick them up, in drab, at the store. That way I avoided passing worries and shipping costs, and kept my non-supportive wife from seeing my purchases. As it happened, the staff at my local Penney's tended to be elderly European ladies dressed all in black, who were all extremely pleasant. They were so nice, in fact, that I even brought them little gifts, like chocolates, and they called me by my first name. In retrospect, I'm sure I would have had no problem being myself with them.

These nice old ladies gradually left, however, and one day there was an obvious emergency draftee from the management side at the counter. She was quite good-looking, in her early thirties, and wore a very stylish and colorful dress. She also felt a need to loudly announce to the others in line that I was picking up a pair of women's shoes and a dress. I smiled, because what am I supposed to say to that? And as she handed me my bags, she said, "Here's your goodies," with a sneer. No one in line blinked an eye; I'm sure they were as embarrassed by her rude behavior as she hoped I would be.

Penney's lost a loyal customer that day. I suppose I could have gotten her in trouble--especially since the company was quietly pro-LGBTQ--but I had no desire to punish her. God, I wish I had her lovely body, but I felt sorry for her emotional need to belittle me; and maybe my self-possession caused her to rethink. Dream on?

Lallie

[Patience]

The two SAs in the curtain department approached the subject today by telling me how wonderful it was that I was putting my home together , obviously the implication being it's not what most men are capable of.

Well, that’s a sexist argument for a start, not to mention a gross generalization.

I’m glad you abandoned the polling idea. Even if you went through with it, the results would only be representative of the polled individuals because of the small number of people involved, assuming the answers were truthful in the first place.

Glad your home is coming together.

[Teresa]

Patience,
I gave up with my wife years ago when we'd argue over colour schemes and furnishings around the home , her comment was always , " What do men know about such things !"

It's great now I can do my own thing , yes I'm enjoying putting my new home together , naturally it will have a mix of male and female choices .

[t-girlxsophie]

At least the SA's in the Curtain dept didn't tell you to pull yourself together