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Thread: HT and changes!

  1. #1
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    HT and changes!

    This thread is for those with over a year of H(R)T!
    After your first year, did there continue to be noticeable changes, physical, mental, or/and emotional? would you be willing to share them?
    Thanks! Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    Hey Lana Mae,

    The second year, maybe some more breast growth but don't expect much. The changes to the skin and fat distribution, if any, will take years, actually. I know that people start reporting changes right away but they are also taking better care of their face for the first time with a skin care regimen and watching their weight and, maybe exercising. HRT will not reverse the effects of testosterone, merely ameliorate them some. A male skull will remain a male skull unless modified by surgery. The same with the body except for minor changes. I am fortunate that My body is a nice shape after 15 years. Many trans women are not so fortunate and will always have narrow hips and broad shoulders. My hands and feet are large and I am 5'-11". That used to bother me but it doesn't anymore.

    I personally don't know of any transwomen who ultimately were satisfied with their breast growth as a result of HRT. It is still a worthy pursuit, however. You never know what you may get. You must keep in mind that even if you were born a ciswoman, your body would only respond in it's unique way based on your genetic programming. There are many flat chested women. They are the bread and butter for plastic surgeons. To think that a cismale body can develop better than a ciswomen who has not been poisoned by Testosterone is folly.

    That being said, the goal should be a proper hormone balance for optimum health. There definitely will be welcome changes but they are subtle and long in coming. Even if all you get are small breast, they will be yours. And, the extra tissue is very important if you opt for breast augmentation later. I have been around for a while now and I can assure you that there have been dozens, maybe hundreds of girls who thought they were on track to set new records of breast growth. Two or three years down the road reality sets in.

    Mentally? There is evidence that years on HRT can change brain structure and/or function, or something like that. Undoubtedly there will be someone who will respond to this in way more detail than necessary but eventually the hormones will cause your brain to function somewhat differently.

    The whole emotion thing I think is a bunch of bullshit, in my opinion. The threads about sudden outburst of crying that pop up occasionally are riding the wave of myths. Or, perhaps the person posting is just trying to get attention. The tendency to be more emotional for some is more a result of letting go of the male persona and allowing yourself to react and display emotions. Someone recently mentioned that very thing in another post. Think about it, ciswomen with a typical hormone profile are not emotional wrecks simply because their body produces Estrogen. Fluctuations in hormone levels do affect some, but it is not a given.

    One affect that I think is noteworthy is hot flashes/ night sweats. OMG! I occasionally wake up with my wet head lying on a wet pillow.

    Another is lack of aggression due to lower Testosterone levels. This is why, I think, some report being more sensitive. It is hard to be sensitive if aggression is in the way.

    Just take the pills, or stick on the patches, I can't remember which for you, and go with it. We will talk at length about such things when you come to Houston next month. At the TTNS conference there will be quite a few transwomen who have transitioned long ago. I will introduce them to you and you can pick their brains.
    Last edited by Jeri Ann; 05-06-2019 at 05:34 AM.

  3. #3
    Member Dorit's Avatar
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    Lana Mae!

    I am on HRT for 18 months now. My physical changes fit into the general results of scientific studies that are just beginning to be published, in the US and in Europe. Most of the changes will occur in two years. I had significant breast growth at 6 months that has now stopped at what I would call an A+, I have had fat redistribution and skin softening that is continuing and adds to my female figure and face. My surprise is that I began all this at 70 years old and am having all the results! It has been one of my delights on HRT.

    The mental/and or emotional changes are much harder quantitatively measure. To separate one possible causal factor like HRT from all the others (such as therapy, diet changes,increased self acceptance,etc) is very difficult, I do not know of any such studies. Through this forum and others like it there is much anecdotal evidence of profound emotional changes that occur to some trans women during the period of HRT. I am one of them. But keep in mind also that there is no way to really know how much this is a result of HRT and how much comes from other causes, like the intense therapy I have been having simultaneously. The emotional changes are likely a combination of many causes, and it seems obvious to me that something as powerful as human sex hormones effects our emotions! Ask any CIS women during her period or menopause.

    I have always been a highly emotional person from early childhood. I believe HRT has even intensified my emotions of well being, empathy, patience, etc. and decreased my uncontrolled anger. A very positive outcome! No testosterone and more estrogen? I also cried easily as a child, and like any boy was required to repress it. Since HRT I have become one of those emotional, crying women! I love it, it gave me back my true self. Crying is so healthy. Also, twice in the last year I had to stop HRT for surgery; FFS and HRT. I did not stop therapy. I went through very intense emotional changes both times that seemed to be similar to what woman go through in menopause. Coincidently my 46 old daughter began experiencing some pre-menopause symptoms at the same time. Emotional swings and night time sweating, which was exactly what I was experiencing upon stopping HRT! In the end her doctor did not see that she was actually starting menopause, but she did have a low estrogen level that needed to be addressed. I share this detail because there is a link between hormone levels and emotions and it would likely be manifested in such a radical hormone change as HRT.

    Once again, this is only my personal experience to share with you all. For me it was so positive it lead me on to full transition. Lana Mae, you too will have a unique experience to share!

  4. #4
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    Hi Lana Mae,

    I am 18 months on HT if starting to count the day I went on estrogen (I never took spiro but started with dutasteride 6 months prior). In regard to physical changes, I would say the body hair has continued to thin out for a while longer. The breast growth almost leveled off by the end of the first year. At 15 month mark, I started on micronized progesterone and it really shifted the breast growth into a new gear. The sensitivity came back and it has been 2.5 months on progesterone, it is still sensitive. The breast got larger, especially the upper part has filled. Prior to that. most of the mass was in the lower part around the nipple. Now it looks fuller and more natural (I really love the look). If I wear tight shirt, even without padding in the bra, it is very noticeable. If I wear something loose, it is less noticeable. I think I am somewhere between A and B cup. I measure 36" / 40" for bend and bust respectively but I still have quite wide back from all those years in the gym, so it is throws off the common measuring off. I am not a D size cup for sure. Most of the body hair became thin and light. Legs are still less so. I am pretty fit and don't have much fat, so I see little in a way of fat distribution. However, I think my face becomes more softer and slightly more feminine as I can see some fat under the skin finally moves around. With keeping up the maintenance of eye brows, it does look more and more the way I want it but it is very gradual. I think the hair continues to fill the head in places where it retreated from. So that's all for physical changes.

    Emotionally - well, let me just say that I have been emotionally stable all my life. I haven't showed / suppressed any dramatic feelings. I think the last time I was crying happened at age 12, and I don't recall suppressing myself much since. AT the same time, I can also say that few weeks ago, my daughter's pet rat has died (the second one. The first died almost a year ago). So I was chocking up thinking about this poor thing all day long. A year ago, I wasn't when the first one died. The worst part, I didn't even cry or chocked as much when people whom I loved dearly passed away and I attended their funerals in prior years. I was deeply saddened but didn't have emotions hard enough to cry or chock up. So take it for what it is.

  5. #5
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Hi Lana Mae -- My personal experience was that the first year I found out the things that HT would change for me and the second year was just more of the same. So my first year I had changes in skin, hair, complexion (oh boy, another round of acne,) breast growth, and oddly, my sense of smell.

    The second year those things just continued to refine themselves. I did pick up an extra 20 pounds that year. When I mentioned it to a nurse at the endo's office, she just smiled and said, "Welcome to estrogen, honey." So you may have that to look forward to.

    Same ol' same ol' to present (2yrs, 9mo) except some things ground to a halt (breast growth, for example.) Fat distribution has been subtle over time. My endo, who only sees me twice a year, says she can see the changes in my face, and my clothes tell me that my hips have changed but there was no sudden onset in either. That feels like a 5 year voyage of discovery. I've got time.

    As Jeri Ann says, focus on achieving hormonal balance for optimal health. All the rest of it just happens.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Jeri Ann: As I have said elsewhere, no expectations! This is a what will be will be type thing but I just wanted to know how others have been affected with continued HT! I know some cis-women who have hips narrower than their shoulders and many with small breasts! Emotionally, I have not had stimulus to invoke crying since starting hormones,so do not know! I know about the night sweats! I will just take my HT and see what I get and thank God for it!
    Dorit: Yeah, my daughter often relates how she feels when she is having her period! "You are green, I hate you grass!" is just one example! Thanks so much for sharing!
    Katya: I also do not cry that much when someone close to me dies! I attended my mother's funeral and did not cry until my friend hugged me and then so strange I cried because he would not ever again eat any of my mother's cookies! Very strange! I cried for quite a while when Jimi Hendrix died - not for myself but for the world's loss of a great! So do not feel bad about all that!
    Pat: I have noticed many changes! Almost A cup left breast, the right has grown but the left is larger! Skin tends to be drier! Gained a whole 1/4" in the hips! Face seems to be changing but ever so slowly and subtly! Everything mentioned has been over time and I suspect will continue for now!
    Thanks ladies for your answers!
    Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  7. #7
    . Aprilrain's Avatar
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    I didn't notice much until about a year or so except my breasts being tender within a few months.
    I'm naturally skinny so I wasn't going to wait around for them to magically sprout, I think I got the BA about 3-4 years in.
    The most dramatic and surprising changes have taken place POST-OP and most of those not until this last couple years.

    Regarding emotions,
    It seems to me that guys tend to angry about things they find upsetting, where as women have a greater tendency to become sad about upsetting things. Anecdotally, I have definitely noticed this change in myself. I remember not crying for years, even if I'd really hurt myself I'd be cussing and shouting, getting pissed off. If I had to deal with a wound I'd be really annoyed because I'd have to stop what I was doing, wash the blood off if soap and water were even available then duct tape and paper towels.
    Now I'm like "I washed my hair last night and had my nails done like 2 days ago and you want me to do what?"
    I know this sounds vain and shallow but If you do not have a full head of mid-back length long hair then you have no idea how much work goes into keeping it looking clean let alone actually have body and style! And how fickle is it not to want to throw $35 (low end) and at least 30 minutes more like an hour of your life down the drain screwing up a manicure doing something silly that I could easily get "a guy" (ie my husband) to do it.
    That's just pragmatic.

    For what its worth I've been on HRT going on 9 years, so I've been around the block.....more like roller coster.....more than a few times now. I've taken pills patches and now injectable E, I ONLY get hot flashes and night sweats when, I'm sick (rare) or my estrogen is low (less rare), like really low....
    just sayin, that shit ain't normal unless you are cis and menopausal, there is no reason for anyone on HRT to have to suffer through that shit!
    Seriously, for awhile my hormones were whacked and I didn't know thats what it was besides I was on as much transdermal E the Kaiser Quack would give me. Thankfully I had my husband to advocate for me because I was not in a good place. Being chronically low on E made me feel like I was dying, literally I felt like I was 100 years old! The hot flashes and night sweats made me wish I was dead!

  8. #8
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    On the topic of emotions and hormones, I just saw this today: https://www.scientificamerican.com/a...-satisfaction/ which implies a causative connection with hormones in natal women, so... maybe? Sounds like we should all go on the pill.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  9. #9
    Senior Member JaytoJillian's Avatar
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    Hi, I am at 19 months and a few days. Change in mood and was evident by the end of the first month. I became calmer and much more patient even though Testosterone must have kicked into high gear, as I suddenly had the sex drive of a teen-aged boy. Seriously, I had to have an "O" several times a day. I was also hungry constantly--like I was in my teens as well. And I got super lean. By month three, the T was getting beaten back. Body hair re-growth really slowed and a month or so later, I got the tell tale tingling associated with developing breast tissue. I also lost a lot of stamina in the gym--every part of my workout became noticeably more difficult. By month six, people began commenting on my face--clear skin, younger-looking, smooth, etc. Super sore nipples at this point, but still flat. Lower back pain coincided with the start of HR. Not sure if it's related or a coincidence. The first year saw thicker thighs and a bigger butt--I know because my suit trousers are very tight--I have busted out of two pair--ugh. Into year one, I also noticed how much easier and faster it is to apply makeup. It's now no more than a 15-20 minute job and I use much much less product. Boobs really popped at the year and a half mark--as I still present as male on a daily basis--compression tees are this girl's best friend, LoL. I am totally getting double takes in the locker room at my gym, but I just conduct myself like one of the guys--no one would dare engage me in that space about my boobs, but I may be the subject of dinner conversation, ha ha. I have found it hard to drop weight in spite of hitting the gym daily--guess the old adage that one loses weight in kitchen, NOT the gym holds true. I have seen how dropping carbs can help cut weight. I just need to buckle down. My endo is awesome! Saw her yesterday to check levels and just chat about how things are going. She wrote me a new script for a very nice re-supply of E. I won't need to visit Walgreens for refill purposes for quite a while. Overall I am very happy with the changes and their pace. Recent pics are up on my flickr site if anyone is interested. http://www.flickr.com/photos/jaytojillian/
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  10. #10
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    It will be 7 years in August. I’m getting fuzzier on the timeline details. Nonetheless, physical changes progressed pretty steadily for at least 3 years and more slowly after. Slight continued breast growth and maturity. I still have sensitivity on occasion - a focused spike recently resulted in a mammogram and ultrasound. Body hair is essentially gone and that took many years. Muscle mass & strength continued to diminish very slowly.

    Sometimes I think emotions are no different, just closer to the surface. I’m more stable. I recover quickly from emotional trauma, which is a major change for me. I’m still socially averse and still as introverted as ever. Between anti-depressants and HRT, I’ve gone from crazy manic and suicidal depression to profound sadness with only the occasional bout of wanting to cut my wrists ... a pretty good improvement!

    I think of estrogen’s effects as a general influence on psychological state rather than emotion specifically. Like April (long time no “see”!) I’ve run out or had problems occasionally. I start losing my sense of myself for lack of a better way of putting it. That’s different from from running out of ADs ... with those, after about 4-5 days things just start getting weird as discontinuation symptoms kick in. I no longer notice any change with Spiro availability. I can only assume the T factories have closed up shop. I proposed cutting the Spiro dosage way back to my PCP recently. She thought it better to leave well enough alone for now, though.

    I remember how I anticipated starting HRT - a combination of excitement, a bit of fear of the unknown, and newness. Now I’m sick to death of taking the stuff. But I do because I need it and it’s become rote. The last time I (temporarily) stopped in a fit of pique was at least 2-3 years ago.

    My body fits me better. My head is on straighter. Dysphoria way down. Major drama gone. But it really did take years to get to a steady state. YMMV.
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

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