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Thread: Becoming more comfortable.

  1. #1
    Member KymG's Avatar
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    Becoming more comfortable.

    I occasionally go for a short drive dressed.
    Tonight i found that when i walked to the car i didnt really care if the neighbours saw me.
    I often do the post a letter thing, and i also found that when i parked up and got out, i normally think "what if someone comes", but i just didnt really care. I would maybe pass in the dark. I hope.
    Certainly from a distance.
    The only thing that i do worry about is having a car that people would recognise but hey.

    Oh well, I enjoy it and it doesnt harm anyone.
    Its just clothes and make up right?

  2. #2
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Exactly. You’re not hurting anyone, and the worst you can usually expect is a funny look or a chuckle behind your back. Just remember, you’re not doing anything wrong.

  3. #3
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    I"m slowly getting better at that myself. Started offset daring to go out the door dressed. Gradually, I started walking to the car in the driveway but only at night.; usually after standing in the doorway for twenty minutes or so trying to work up my courage. But I'm getting to the point.not quite there yet...where I just walk out and get in the car and drive away. I still always check to see if the neighbors are home...fi they're not, I'm pretty brave. if they are...then not so much

  4. #4
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    From these little steps you will hopefully progress one day to feeling confident to go out in public and mix in mainstream society if that’s what you want. It may not be.it gets easier all the time especially if you blend in and look good. I wouldn’t be happy to be sniggered at. People do when they see someone who isn’t convincing.Neighbours can be a problem.

  5. #5
    Member Richelle423's Avatar
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    Hey here in the north east USA it’s early to mid spring I’ve been going into my back yard wearing athletic capris with no one around till today when I went outside I saw a couple of neighbors sitting outside. They didn’t seem to care.they’re in their early 20’s from what I can guess. They seemed to be more interested with their phones than anything.i started working in my backyard with my SO no problem so far.

  6. #6
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Careful Kym, that "I didn't really care if the neighbors saw me" thinking will have you out and about in the daylight and in full view for all to see. I don't really care is the mind set of a confident person and that will have you interacting with the muggles as your femme self.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  7. #7
    Seamstress of Skirts Asew's Avatar
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    My mama used to say: "Practice makes perfect."

  8. #8
    Junior Member
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    At that stage as well. Dressing is part of who I am. I am hardly passable but to make an effort.

  9. #9
    Señora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    It gets easier every time. Once you stop caring about what those other people think. You will find everything you do that much more enjoyable.

  10. #10
    Member KrissyP's Avatar
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    Many of us have experienced something similar as we started to get "out." I too used to go stand on my porch in the dark or make a brave walk out to the curb at night making sure no one else was about. I can remember being really brave and walking all the way around the house at one point. Still remember vividly getting a cheap wig and one evening climbing into my car and going to the local grocery store. Sat in the parking space for about 5 minutes and then walked inside.

    I was amazed at how little people noticed, and though I didn't stay long, it was a seminal moment for me. Once home, I stared at myself in the mirror and took a picture to memorialize my first time out. What a thrill, and I couldn't get the smile off my face.

    Keep taking small steps KymG and love the sharing. It helps us all to know we are not alone in the process. Cheers.
    WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies , projects or any other reasons You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum posts both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal action.

  11. #11
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Kym,

    How often has it been written that the more you go out the easier, and enjoyable, it gets.

    The heart rate slows, we get control of our breathing, sure there's still that little bit of adrenaline but that's good to.

    Take it steady, your confidence will grow and that helps enormously as you become more relaxed you blend in more. No longer furtively scurrying about but walking as someone who has a right to be there. Owning the situation.

    Carry on, stay calm and things will go from strength to strength.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Having not (yet) ventured out en femme I used to consider these threads hypothetical and filed them under 'good advice for whenever the day'. But it occurred to me that there was a time that I was paranoid about someone discovering I was wearing knickers (long before I started dressing more fully). There was the fission of the taboo about it along with the fear sure. But it's just normal now. So I guess in some small measure I do relate.
    Good for you, Kym

  13. #13
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    Getting ready to turn 73, dont know where the time has gone. I do most of the cooking and shopping in our house. My daily wear now is panties, sometimes bralette under fem tshirt, fem skinny jeans, black kneehigh fem socks with plain black matte finish ballet flats. No makeup or wig and a mustache for as long as I can remember. Obviously I'm not trying to pass, just being me. I live in redneck deep south Mississippi and people DO notice. So far after years of dressing this way I have not had a single negative reaction. Ya, some guys will avoid eye contact but the woman mostly smile, say hello or compliment me on an item of clothing I'm wearing. I may vary footwear with womens colored tennis shoes. I dress conservative/nutral and enjoy myself. But I believe people notice. I really dont care anymore. Now the wife, another story but she puts up with me. LOL. Love that woman to death.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    That's great Kym. You're chipping away at those fears bit by bit. I live in an apartment building and I still remember the first time I pushed myself to open my door without checking the corridor through the spyhole first. My blood pressure was off the charts. Now I don't think twice about it.
    Last edited by Eemz; 05-09-2019 at 05:54 PM.

  15. #15
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    Right on, Sidney. Life is too short to go through it in clothes that don't make you happy. I'm glad to know you're not facing any really negative reactions in Mississippi.

  16. #16
    Member KymG's Avatar
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    It certainly doesnt scare me as much as it used to.
    On the other hand I dont get quite the same thrill from it either.

  17. #17
    Junior Member Michaela Jane's Avatar
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    I have only ever left the house dressed and ventured into my back yard. Then, I was wearing a denim skirt and a cami top. I would dearly love to put on one of my dresses and wig and go for a drive. I would probably be ok, after all, when we are driving, we are watching traffic and not people (unless they are walking in the road). I would be mindful that, although we are not hurting anyone, there are plenty of angry people out there who could, and might well, hurt us.
    https://www.wral.com/two-women-charg...-bar/18110722/

  18. #18
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    That will happen Kym. The more frequent it becomes, the more routine it can become too. Not for all, but for some. If you feel comfortable being you, that is wonderful. Sharing it with others is even better, especially when they are friendly strangers. That is something that has always made my more than frequent (now daily) outings enjoyable. I love people and conversations, and the best way to enjoy that is out and about. Good luck in the future.

  19. #19
    Member Ozark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sidney View Post
    Getting ready to turn 73, dont know where the time has gone... Now the wife, another story but she puts up with me. LOL. Love that woman to death.
    Just turned 70 here, I usually wear chic elastic waist shorts, or basic edition, panties and a fishing shirt. I got the same kind of wife.

  20. #20
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    When I first started going out, it was usually under cover of darkness. I would drive to the cliffs or to another part of the city and go for a walk. At first, I was really self-conscious about it, and if I saw somebody coming the other way, I would cross the road, or step into the shadows of some trees, or turn back.
    After a few outings, I realised that if I had been noticed lurking in the shadows or behaving erratically, I was attracting more attention to myself than if I just walked on by.
    So after that, I decided to be more confident about it, and it made a huge difference. Only on one or two occasions has anybody stopped and stared. Most people just carried on without (apparently) noticing.
    So that's the key. Look confident and nobody will notice. Look tense or behave strangely and you'll be noticed.
    In fact, behaving erratically during the hours of darkness might result in an unwelcome visit by your local constabulary.

    After many further outings, nobody really notices me. In fact on one occasion, I was walking down a street to my car, when one of two women on the other side of the street, called "Hey Sarah", as she had mistaken me for somebody she knew. I simply turned and said "Sorry, I'm not Sarah". The woman apologised and walked on. I think her mistake might have been fuelled by alcohol, but I still got a buzz from not only being mistaken for a woman, but one she thought she knew.
    I continued walking with an extra spring in my step.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I think you get to a stage where you just go out whichever way you present.

    The only thing with me, I do have to shave sometimes before I touch up my makeup. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  22. #22
    Twisted Sister Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KymG View Post
    I normally think "what if someone comes", but i just didnt really care.
    I think that too from time to time.

    I guess it’s flattering in a way, but I’d rather they didn’t do it near me.
    When all else fails, lower your standards.

  23. #23
    New Member SugarLinda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KymG View Post
    I occasionally go for a short drive dressed.
    Tonight i found that when i walked to the car i didnt really care if the neighbours saw me.
    I often do the post a letter thing, and i also found that when i parked up and got out, i normally think "what if someone comes", but i just didnt really care. I would maybe pass in the dark. I hope.
    Certainly from a distance.
    The only thing that i do worry about is having a car that people would recognise but hey.

    Oh well, I enjoy it and it doesnt harm anyone.
    Its just clothes and make up right?
    Getting out as woman is one of my wishes.i think your looks is nobody s business.if I encountered an incident like this Probably I couldnt care .i could walk to my way with a little smile . Although
    my choice would probably be remote places

  24. #24
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Patience, You have me in stitches

  25. #25
    Member KymG's Avatar
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    I meant what if somebody comes along!
    As in when im out of the car!

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