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Thread: First Therapy Appointment Scheduled

  1. #1
    Member Becoming Brianna's Avatar
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    First Therapy Appointment Scheduled

    I finally did it! I spoke to a gender therapist and scheduled an appointment. I go a week from today at 6PM! I was mostly excited and relieved when I got off the phone initially but now for some reason I feel more nerves creeping in. Is this normal?

  2. #2
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Greta and congratulations! Be honest, direct and cry if you need to. Also, if after a few sessions you do not feel comfortable with this one, take the time and decision to find another one. You should feel comfortable with your therapist. That does not mean that all sessions will be comfortable for you. Good luck. I believe that you are in the right place now to start .

  3. #3
    Senior Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Brianna,
    That's a great step.
    Some questions for you, is this a gender therapist? Did you talk with someone in health behavior in your health insurer? If you, they can refer you to a one and pay for the sessions.
    Usually the first session is more informative of the way how that therapist proceed and will do tons of questions to go building your profile, so don't have too high expectations.
    Please after tell us how was it.

    Thanks

    Devi
    See my daily posts and pics on tumblr, just look for @sexyvane

  4. #4
    Member Becoming Brianna's Avatar
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    Yes, she says that she is a gender specialist. She told me that she doesn't accept my insurance plan so I need to pay out of pocket which I have decided that I am willing to do. The need to find answers is very strong and a powerful motivator. I will pay for awhile until I find a better job with benefits that allows me to have my insurance cover the costs. I already asked her a little bit about her practice so I know the kind of person I was going to be meeting. She seems nice over the phone. I just hope she can help me. I don't know where to start on my history. She wants to talk about my history first. I'm wondering if I should start with the reasons why I feel I might need to transition or the reasons why I feel like I shouldn't. All I know is this: I either need to be a woman or I need to learn to be okay not going into a gender box because I really don't think I can do this "normal man" thing anymore. I will update you after the session assuming I go (my father seemed to be giving reasons why I shouldn't go and because I don't drive I am kind of at their mercy.)

    Update: In accordance with my father's wishes, I am going to wait until the school year ends at the end of the month. I will call and tell my soon to be therapist tomorrow.
    Last edited by Becoming Brianna; 05-07-2019 at 05:45 PM.

  5. #5
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Brianna -- First, yes it is normal to switch from elation to anxiety when you set up your first therapist appointment. I hope knowing that is one less thing to be anxious about.

    Second, renegotiate with your Dad. Avoiding coming out until after the end of the school year (different thread) is one thing, but putting off getting help for a psychological problem you are currently experiencing is not reasonable. Take the appointment. If you have to negotiate, make the offer that you won't tell anyone about it until The Day. But you have the problem now, you need the help now.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  6. #6
    Member Becoming Brianna's Avatar
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    Part of me says I've waited all these years what's another couple of weeks? The other part of me says I came out to (and lost) my girlfriend of three years who I still dearly love precisely because I got tired of waiting and yet here I am making a decision to wait again. Sometimes I really hate my propensity to put others happiness before my own...

  7. #7
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Take Uber or Lyft. Don't tell them if that helps for now. If you haven't told them a white lie yet, now is a good time to start. What they do not know will not hurt them, but it will surely help you. Please start sooner rather than later. Also while there see if you can negotiate a lower rate or if you can submit the bill later to your insurance carrier for a partial refund. Sometime, both will do that.

  8. #8
    Member Becoming Brianna's Avatar
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    I've made a deal: I will delay the therapy but I will receive in return the things I need to go out and start presenting as a woman. This way I will have experience to share and pictures to show my therapist when I actually do meet her. I think it's a fair deal and I think it will work out. I'm happy. In fact, I posted my first picture (no wig yet) with my makeup, my new night shirt and my new necklace in the picture thread if you'd like to see. I like to think that I turned this negative into a positive and made lemonade out of the lemon.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member grace7777's Avatar
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    Brianna, I hope the deal works out well for you. A therapist can be very helpful in dealing with gender identity issues.

  10. #10
    Member Becoming Brianna's Avatar
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    First therapy session booked (for real this time). I see my therapist finally on July 2nd just a few hours after I get home from Pride! I'm excited! I think I'm more or less at peace with where I identify I think I'm going to mostly focus these sessions on: 1. Making sure I'm not crazy 2. Making sure there isn't more to this for me (or less) 3. Accepting myself for who I am whoever that is and 4. Finding my voice to declare who I am and ask for and demand what I need to actualize my identity.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Great news Brianna.
    I hope you can see your desires and wishes fulfill soon, just be patience because time flies...
    See my daily posts and pics on tumblr, just look for @sexyvane

  12. #12
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Good for you! Hope you find the answers you seek! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  13. #13
    Senior Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    This is an important step in the right direction. Try not to go into therapy with an agenda. It will only get in the way. You are paying good money to have an expert guide you through the process of sorting things out. And it most certainly is a process.
    You already have a good idea what the issue is, and that's fine, but the most important thing for you to do is to answer questions with honesty and courage. Yes, there may be times when saying something out loud is hard, but that's often where the breakthroughs happen.

    Best of luck to you.

    Hugs,


    Kelly
    Well, somebody has to make up that base of the bell curve that defines "normal".
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  14. #14
    Silver Member
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    Good advice, Kelly.

    Brianna, be aware also that the first session or two with a therapist are “intake.” The exact nature of that will depend on the therapist, but she’ll likely be interested in exploring a number of themes which may or may not get any attention thereafter. Let her lead especially in the beginning. The most likely opening question is what you want to get out of the sessions, so you might be prepared for that.
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

  15. #15
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    I'll join the advice bandwagon... remember that your therapist is not a friend -- don't make any of your answers about keeping their friendship or gaining their esteem. Answer from your heart always. Say what you really think or really fear or really wish. It's a waste of your and their time to answer "for effect."

    Remember that the therapist isn't there to give answers -- they're there to ask questions. You give the answers and in answering, you find your path.

    And, probably the most important, if you feel this therapist is not a good match to you, get another. This is one of the few places in life where it IS all about you.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    I'm repeating it again, so much wisdom in this web (more in the trans section).
    Yeah, they say right. In own experience the main purpose was trying to receive answers, a cure for crossdressing.
    I never received the answer but with the more questions she was doing I could rebuilt my hidden past cding. The other important aspect for me was to have a person to openly talk about my "secret".
    She was a family therapist with some experience in crossdressers, finally she wouldn't have the experience to help me in a trans life. I was lucky and found a gender therapist trasgender himself.
    As a conclusion, the sessions were for me a releasing activity. She helped me to build an strategy to work with my wife, so the results, we jeep married, both learning to live with a trans person and moving forward in life with mo hidden things and love.
    See my daily posts and pics on tumblr, just look for @sexyvane

  17. #17
    Member Lisa Lee's Avatar
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    Brianna

    Congradulations, it might feel like a big step in time now, in time it will feel better to have taken this important step.

  18. #18
    Silver Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pat View Post
    Remember that the therapist isn't there to give answers -- they're there to ask questions.
    Yes and no. A decent therapist wonít answer questions about identity, preference, transition (or not) and similar questions, at least with a normal trans client. You ultimately determine those. They DO diagnose, however, which in its own way is another form of answering at least some questions. Finally, therapists are also trained to diagnose co-morbid conditions and conditions that can manifest as gender issues when, in fact, they are symptoms and the client actually isnít trans. Itís common for a therapist to work through non-gender conditions before addressing gender when those conditions obscure the gender question. Examples are depression, anxiety, social aversion, borderline personality, etc.
    I am older than I once was,
    And younger than I'll be. ...
    After changes upon changes
    We are more or less the same;
    After changes we are more or less the same.

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