Crossdressers Saved my Life.... Maybe.

[abbiedrake]

Firstly sorry for the melodrama of the title.
Those that know me, that have followed or contributed to my threads both here and in the GM sub will likely know my circumstances are far from ideal.
As a consequence of talks with my wife I've been in a reflective mood. Just over 5 months ago was when I took the name Abigail. 5 months to the day since I joined this site. I had to check that because for some reason I was thinking that Abbie's 'birthday' was the 12th of the 12th. But no, it's in Abbie's calendar. The 5th.
So that means.... The 12th is still important to me. It was the last time I drank alcohol.

Let me explain. I started drinking at 17. That's late for a Brit! And in 30 years my longest abstinence was 8 weeks in the summer of 08.Two months in three decades. Two months where I claimed 'see? I can quit. No problem.' I'd had a breakdown the previous year lapping into 08. I became violent. Alcohol was a factor, naturally. And two months was the best I could do?! Fool!

Oct 2017 is when I first wore a dress and genuinely felt pleasure from it. I've mentioned elsewhere about dressing as a hooker for a party and wearing my ex's wedding dress to work (plastic bags of sugar for boobs, not bad for a 1st attempt. Lol). But those times didn't stick. Only my current marriage had the trust and security I clearly needed.
6 months later (Apr 2017) our fire department fitted some free smoke alarms (cool. She put 2 in the library!) and she offered to take my blood pressure (diversification!). 185/130. 3 times and the systolic and diastolic proved right. My wife, a former trauma nurse-practitioner) ejaculated an expletive and took the sphygmomanometer from the young woman, adjusted the cuff, tried herself. No dice. Same results. I was a walking miocardial infarction in waiting.
The GP wanted me in hospital. I refused. Wife needs me. So, meds. 4 times my GPs tried to hospitalise me. More meds, increased dosages. I cut my salt intake then learned that did next to nothing. But... I didn't quit drinking. By then I was drinking more than the UK government recommends as a maximum per week almost every night. AT THE SAME TIME AS THE DAMN MEDS!

A year into dressing I'd largely got through 'condensed girl adolescence' and found my groove (some of those early outfits, sheesh). But I wanted a home. I found this site but needed a name. And so on the 5th of December I stumbled on Abigail. 3 days later I was ready to make your lives miserable with inanity, ill-judged comments, stupid humour and my tales of woe.

I was home.

One week to the day after I chose Abigail I quit drinking. Cold. Didn't plan it. Wasn't thinking 'early start in Dry January'. Just STOPPED. There was no need. No desire. No pangs. Well a brief one on my birthday in March. The next day wasn't my birthday and I was still fine. And sober.
I don't describe myself as an alcoholic but I behave as though I am in recovery. I feel pretty sure that I could control it if I chose to drink. But I don't feel the need to prove that. I simply abstain. Like a recovering alcoholic.

So, I broke what had been a three decade constant in my life overnight.

My BP is now averaging about 115/80. Still high but OK. Liver damage was less severe than I expected and it's on the mend. I've lost 4 inches off my waist. (my dresses from last year are too big 😫.)
And I couldn't explain the reason I went cold turkey. Until I checked those dates and realised that Abbie and you lot came BEFORE not after I quit.

Thanks for saving me from myself. You may have all saved my beloved from widowhood.

And thanks for getting this far.
Going go cry now.
Abbie.