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Thread: "Excuse me, but are you Trans?"

  1. #1
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    "Excuse me, but are you Trans?"

    This past Saturday I was meeting a friend for lunch, and when I arrived at our rendezvous spot, I got a text saying that he was running late so I decide to do a little shopping.

    I was en femme, as normal, in a knee length denim skirt, a very flowy, colorful blouse, and sandals. And, of course, wig, make-up, and boobs.

    While browsing the aisles, one of the staff passed by. She was in the store uniform, with shoulder length brown hair with blonde highlights, turquoise eye shadow, lipstick & nails. As we passed she looked at me and I smiled & nodded my head, (FYI: when en femme, I am ALWAYS smiling...) and continued on my way.

    A few aisles later, I heard a quiet voice ask, "Excuse me, but are you Trans?" I turned and it was the young SA. I nodded and replied "Yes, I am".

    She reacted like a puppy hearing her human's voice! She came up and grabbed my arm, and with a tremor in her voice, said "I am soooo happy to meet another transwoman!"

    We talked for about 15 minutes, she basically gave me her life history, in a rushed, breathless exposition. We exchanged contact info, and because of some of the details she related, as we parted, I asked her if she needed a hug. We embraced, and in a very emotional farewell, we went our separate ways.

    I met her and took her to lunch on Sunday, and quickly became friends, even though she is 20 years younger than my olde fossilized self.


    I'm posting this, as a response to some of the "Should-I-Make-Contact-When-I-Think-I-See-Another-CD/TG?" threads.

    When approached, I didn't feel in any way threatened, or 'made', I have no delusions that I "pass", but I do "blend"; I was actually happy that another transwoman felt comfortable enough to approach me and make contact. The poor girl admitted later that she was terrified that she might have misidentified me. In her words: "I was afraid of what might happen if you were a GG".

    So, the next time you think you see a sister, approach her. Gently, if you are in male mode. Or female mode for that matter, and see what happens.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

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  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Great story! I'm been thinking of getting some trans jewelry to wear.

  3. #3
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    It does depend on the situation I suppose.
    I wouldn't be too bothered if that happened to me.
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  4. #4
    I ♥ pink! AndreaCalifCD's Avatar
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    Nice! Glad it went so well!

  5. #5
    Member Becoming Brianna's Avatar
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    What a wonderful story! So glad that you were able to meet and help out a fellow sister! I know exactly how you feel. I'm pretty much always smiling the more feminine my presentation becomes!

  6. #6
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Jodie_Lynn, what a wonderful story. While it worked out for you, I still don't believe I would approach.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #7
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Sometimes you just have to take a chance and hope it works out.
    If not how will you progress and make new friends?
    If you are in the closet I can see not approaching people.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
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  8. #8
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    That is a great story and now you have a new friend!
    Crissy

  9. #9
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    While it may not suit everyone, the young lady and myself are both out.
    She is on HRT, and I was presenting as fully female.

    For myself, when out, I welcome interactions with cis-people as well as CD's, admirers, and transgendered people. As long as they are friendly, or truly inquisitive.

    I consider myself as an Ambassador (ambassadoress?) of the CD/TG community, and really enjoy mingling with, educating, and putting a personal face of trangenderism to the muggle community.

    And if, like I described above, I can help a sister, then it's all worth it.

    And if you see a person who you think might be 'one of us', try a somewhat neutral approach.
    Like: "Wow! You look wonderful!" Even if you are wrong, and she is a GG, she will love the compliment, and you will make her day.

    Just my 2 cents.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  10. #10
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Exactly.
    A compliment works in both cases so you are covered.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
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  11. #11
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Great story and a wonderful outcome. In the past the general advice was don't out someone by direct contact like that. My sense is that this advice is on a rapid decline, but it may still be offensive to a few. I think, if you use good judgement and don't make a bit of a scene by doing something stupid like asking in a group, most will accept it just fine and be equally curious. After all, finding new friends in the world we inhabit is not an easy task - we really aren't all that common. And I think it is pretty natural to want to reach out and connect when you see someone like yourself.

  12. #12
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    I love that you posted this! I have read quite a few times about issues with approaching other like us. I tend to be a bit more outgoing than most. I have met others like us in public and if the situation was proper I would greet and interact with them. I have always had a positive experience when doing so. When out dressed I have also had such encounters were others have approached me and asked questions. Also almost always positive. I had one bad experience, but I can tell that story in another post.
    Please someone help me so I can attach an avatar and photo!
    Love you all!

  13. #13
    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Sometimes you have to take a risk. Isn't it wonderful that your new friend did.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  14. #14
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    Jodie,
    A good story with a happy ending. I hope your new friendship blossoms and endures.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I'd be okay with someone asking. But I don't go out dressed so someone could tell I'm CD.
    Angie

  16. #16
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    After my (reported on) mani and pedi a couple of weeks ago, for the first time I spent the rest of the morning shopping by MYSELF! I was ready to talk to anyone who wished to talk to me, but nothing happened. It was an exhilerating experience.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Lovely Story.. thanks for sharing it with us Jodie, quite inspiring
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  18. #18
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    great story I always wondr if or how should we interact with another trans person. Personally I don't know if I have ever seen another trans person in public, Well I have but they were so obvious, super short skirt with super high heels at the mall at 3 PM, there was no need to interact. It was more fun watching all the other folks act as they passed the poor soul.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  19. #19
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Good for you.

    I have seen TG people a few times in public and a few times I have been approached. Both by MTF and FTM.

    I don’t mind, I’m out and I’m not hiding.

    I will not approach anyone. If I felt that they needed help I would.

    A couple come to mind like the guy that was helping his wife pick out mascara. I’m standing right next to them helping my friend. I thought it was odd that a guy would have any interest in make-up. That was till she said “now you can put this with your things”.

    Yesterday My boss had me stop at a wholesale parts supplier for a couple things I needed. There is a TG person there FTM. He has been there for a while now and is getting a little better. I would never say anything to him. He is just too serious for a guy working in a parts house, but like I said he is getting better. A few months ago I was there with a guy I was training. We had just walked outside and were talking. The trainee miss gendered him,(to me only) I stopped, and corrected him, he said sorry. He is from Vegas, so is no stranger to TG people. Yes he knows I'm TG.

    As others have said if you want to talk to someone, if they are representing as a women drop a complement accompanied with a smile or a comment on the weather.
    Last edited by Jean 103; 05-16-2019 at 09:20 AM.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Robbin_Sinclair's Avatar
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    A very nice story, nicely told. ❤️��〰

  21. #21
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Jodie, what a wonderful story. I glad that it all worked out.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Jodie I just try to read about you in your profile and I'm curious how is your life now.
    Still married? Transitioning, out? Etc.
    See my daily posts and pics on tumblr, just look for @sexyvane,
    At Instagram @nessatrans,

    Facebook, Vanessa Grandy from riverside, california.

  23. #23
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Devi, I am now divorced (2 1/2 years), in therapy for gender dysphoria, and hope to begin HRT before the years end. I'm not getting any younger...

    Due to my employment as a temp, I cannot be out at work, but at all other times, I am Jodie.

    I am out to my daughter, who fully accepts me, my friends, and my family who are struggling to accept the new paradigm.

    I can honestly say that I have never been happier with myself, once I stopped trying to be 'him', and embraced 'her'.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    If someone approached me like that I would certainly assist them, I would not do it myself as I consider I do not need help and support.

    The person that approached you did need help and support and I hope you were able to convey some love and assistance to her
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  25. #25
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    Jodie,
    Beautiful story and kudos to you for being an ambassadress for the community!

    Best wishes!

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