I want to share with you ladies the happiness I feel to had arrive to this date.
I have to thanks so many here that had been an important support, the list is long but I would say that in first place is Jeri Ann that had no problem on sharing very intimate and personal thing that helped me a lot to take the right decisions, thanks Jeri, I love you.
I attached pics from a year ago, from now and from 2016. What a difference!
On April 30th I completed one year. I'd been so busy with no time to write this thread so forgive me for the delay.
What has mean for me:
physical changes:
one of the main external and more visible is my breast is cup between B and C could be BB?
Last two months I start to see some changes on the fat redistribution.
For years was really easy for me to achieve loosing weight on Keto but since hormones it was more difficult. I confess that I gave up and let the things go natural. I gained some weight, like 10 lbs. Before HRT the weight was usually on my belly but now that belly is disappearing and getting a more feminine waist and at the same time some external tights (this is something that always help to the dysphoria since that is one of the evident visual elements in the females. I don't know about some more fat in the butt since I always had it very rounded, so I don't see differences.
Hair: I was loosing some hair on the top of the head but that is reversing. It was another thing for dysphoria to see some baldness from behind, no more.
I had been using and HLP silk'n bellaglide for around a year and a half and help a lot to reduce hair in general, Now with hormones they are minimum, less than my wife and she is no hairy. One part that no more hair and makes me happy is a line I had from the low pelvis to the belly button and some going up on the chest and breast, no more. I don't need to shave.
Now I shave just the genitals.
Arms, hair is really thin and shaving monthly is really easy. I had hair growing on my hands, no more.
Face, people says that I look younger and in other thread I mention that my mother in law saw me by video conference and asked me what I was doing to look so "pretty", she didn't use the word "handsome". I have to say the she has a special gift with just watch the face or eyes or someone, even and unknown person, she can say personal things about her and told me"you look so happy" of course I don't have the intention to tell about me because she is 90 years old and live overseas, probably I'll see her on person on February next year.
I use a lot of moisturizing creams for face, hands and body, I thin k that helps too.
Emotional changes:
For me these had been the more important.
As I post in another thread, now my three sons and their wives (except one) know so after them there nobody more important that I could feel afraid could know, so now the world is open for me.
I'd been driving for around a month or more for Uber and that helped me a lot to loose the fear to face people, even thought I normally don;'t wear more make up than eyeliner, mascara, brows and lipstick so the grayish/blueish of shaved beard and mustache is, for me, very clear and evident so I learn to no give explanations to anybody because nobody is really interest on it and they need to learn what a transgender in transition is. No all will be pretty girls, some will be old ladies as me but nobody is perfect but a person.
When I go to restrooms always use women's restroom and never had an issue. Now is very disappointing when I had to use men's restrooms because men are really dirt.
When interact with people on restaurants or wherever I need as paying something, Costco, pharmacies, groceries store or whatever situation, never had an issue. and most of the time I receive smiles.
I'd like to have those kind of rear mirror as cars to se faces of men after I pass in front of them because some look at me (Men have an special radar to women) and when look again my face, of course they realize I'm a dressed man (that's what I think they think) so they look again but I just pass and ignore them.
Women never put attention on me.
Now I enjoy of freedom and peace as never before. All fears are dissipated. I'm planning on bottom surgeries.
I'm waiting on approval from health insurance for electrolysis, Two times endocrinologist has submitted it when some missing documents. Nurses and case manager on health insurer are always nice and want to help me on anything when I call for that issue.
My name was as a cross-dresser Vanessa. That name had a very sexual meaning for me but as one of the biggest changes in the first three months of hormones, my sexuality shifted and no more interest on men and that name bring bad memories that I want to erase.
My wife always called me Devi as a short of Devito, that at the same time is a diminish of David, so when I heard that name is more personal and familiar for me so I choose Debbie but driving an amazing passenger lady from India asked me about Debbie os Devi, I answer Debbie and she answers, oh! because Devi in Hindu religion is a name for a goddess, the main one, the mother of all other gods, so I decide to keep that name, because that is my name.
Please ask whatever you need to know. I have a debt of gratitude to many here even some people that had been negative because had been important part of my life too.
