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Thread: Funny problem with DADT

  1. #1
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nation's Capital

    Funny problem with DADT

    I was going to Costco and my wife asked me to return a couple of things for her, one of which was a pair of Amanda jeans.

    She also wanted me to look for Amanda jeans in size 8 short. Then she went on and on explaining to me what they looked like, and that they were Gloria Vanderbilt.

    What she doesn't know is that I know exactly what Amanda jeans looked like, because I have at least a couple of pair in various colors. in accordance, with DADT, I couldn't tell her.

    It was just funny to me.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.


  2. #2
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    That is funny. It's also a damn shame. You have my sympathies. I have no idea what form my dressing might take in future as a result of my wife having joined this site, but I have learned not to take for granted that we do at least talk about it. Even go so far as looking at catalogues together. Don't get me wrong it's been pretty damn fraught at times but I still know I'm lucky.
    Still at least you can share a wry smile on the side with us here.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Wherever there is a Sale or Macys, but mostly Baltimore MD
    Because of my nature and wicked sense of humor, I would have poked the dragon and said "Oh, you mean like the ones I have ?" technically she broke the DADT by bringing up the subject of jeans you already have.

    That's the leagle splitting of hairs, but you can always be overruled by the judge. LOL
    Kelly DeWinter
    Find Kelly at:
    Kelly's Blog

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    In accordance, with DADT, I couldn't tell her.
    I know exactly what you mean. My wife just had abdominal surgery. Very rarely does she wear a dress. Because of the surgery she went out and bought several dresses. She also mentioned she could use a slip because one of the dresses was a little too sheer in the sunlight. With DADT I had to keep my mouth shut. I guess I could have ventured into uncharted territory, but, I didn't.

    I suspect the situation will become more difficult as she has been telling her coworkers she is formally fully retiring at the end of this school year. I'll see how that goes. I had become use to summer school vacations interrupting the ability to be en femme. Now? The situation looks bleak.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Well yes, I get that. My own situation is a modified DADT. Sometimes my wife starts a conversation about certain subjects concerning beauty, fashion or medical. I sometimes respond. Sometimes it's fine, other times she will ask in an accusatory way, "How do you know about....Have you....."

    Not being sure how far down the rabbit hole the conversation is going, I am on guard to limit it as needed. Sometimes you need to bite your tounge.

    On the other hand, sometimes, when she is in a better mood, this can be an opening for a gentle conversation. You play it by ear. Some days it works, other days you crash and burn.
    Put on a Happy Face.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    I have slowly crawled out of the DADT situation, but not completely out. My wife has cautioned me a couple times when women are talking fashion and I add to the conversation. She tells me it might no be a good idea to let on that I know more about women's fashion than most men, and perhaps, most women!

  7. #7
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    I agree with Kelly. That's breaking the DADT rules! My adult, live in daughter would NEVER ask me to return any of her clothing items. Nor I, her!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
    stone free mykell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    jer-sea shore
    well i dont know about the DC area stores but up here at the shore my wife had to buy short size online, they only carried avg. i bought them while i was shoping during a break in my work day, also picked up some undies for myself, had to return them too.....the ones i got were bigger than what i had in the closet already not in a DADT anymore but it worked as a starting point......your wife knows you go to your T-events yes ? maybe you could open up a new discussion about it
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that those who deny freedom deserve it not for themselves
    NOBODY gets a pass to blow out someone else's candle in order to make theyre's shine brighter

  9. #9
    🌹🙈🌹🙉🌹🙊🌹 Patience's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    I don't think you'd be giving anything away by saying you knew which pants she meant...I mean, she wears 'em and you notice her clothes generally.
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Hi Steffi , So close YET so far. >Orchid ...+..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    For me not being able to share that would sadden me.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  12. #12
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    My wife was glad that I knew the difference in Woman's clothes.
    She would often ask me to pick up Hose for her, knowing that I knew what she liked and wanted.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member WandaRae2009's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    I am in A DADT as well. She is tolerant, but doesn't want to see it or hear about it. My wife recently had hip surgery. We were attending a funeral and she wanted to wear black tights. I went out and bought several different sizes. As we all know the sizes can vary greatly between brands. The first two we tried on were identified as a larger sized, but they were control top. I told her that the ones that appeared to be a smaller size but not control top would be better. After trying on both of the control top ones, that were uncomfortable on her hip, she finally tried the pair I told her to try in the first place. She then made a comment, "I should have listened to you since you wear them more than me". Not an angry tone, so maybe she is warming up slowly and taking advantage of what her crossdressing husband can offer.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    just west of syracuse n.y.
    That is a funny Steffi.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Western North Carolina
    My wife would have given me the same lecture about the jeans. Not because she thought I didn't understand be because she knew I would likely forget before I got out the door if it wasn't beat into my head.
    My wife also breaks the DADT rule at times, to her advantage. I always take that as a bit of acceptance.

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