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Thread: How do you identify? And can you explain why?

  1. #51
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Quote Originally Posted by suzy1 View Post
    My daughter tells me that a woman and mans brains show no differences and its only upbringing and pressure from society that moulds us into acting male or female as we grow up.
    personally I am unconvinced, but seeing as I am a moron and she is a senior research scientist one has to wonder?
    Suzy, let her read this:

    Or this:

    and this:

  2. #52
    Aspiring Member
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    Mar 2012
    Quote Originally Posted by MarinaTwelve200 View Post

    On the surface, looking at the posts, I might seem to be the odd exception to the rule, but there are a LOT of guys out there that are like me---We just are not as "vocal" or inclined to write as much as those who have more "complex" identity issues.
    Marina, I would say, without doing the math, 80% of the replies state they identify as male. I knew starting the thread that those of us who aren't fully transitioned but are women were in the minority.

  3. #53
    Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Jun 2017
    Central Fla.
    umm-m-m. Conflicted / defeated??

    I've always known (as far back as I can remember) that I was supposed to have been born a girl. I even began counselling / HRT in my 40's to 'make the switch'.

    But I'm also a realist, and the mirror isn't a friend. At a point on the way, my reflection reminded me that I'd "never fit in" if I continued on that course.

    That - and the potential cost (financial, familial, social, etc.) of transitioning stopped me. I guess that my need isn't so strong that I had to say "damn the torpedos"

    I live - uncomfortably- somewhere in the middle... male to the outside world, dressed feminine (a bit) at home, wishing I had more but knowing that understanding that I'm in an OK spot. It's a compromise, but it works. Other than this unsatisfied longing/desire/not-quite-need, I have a good life and don't want to do anything to mess it up.

    How does that phrase go - something about living lives of "quiet desperation"?

  4. #54
    Multi-Blogger Barbara Black's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Northeast Wisconsin
    Born male, but was lousy at it. it took about 50 years for me to discover why. Crossdressing had always been just a fetishy thing for me until I began to understand myself after a long long time.

  5. #55
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Dec 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by Bea_ View Post
    I identify as totally male and see my taste in clothes from the other side of the aisle as an expansion of my masculine prerogative rather than as a turn to femininity. I see much of what's considered to be masculine/feminine as just arbitrary distinctions.
    As a MIAD I have to agree with that pronouncement. I am a man but spend most of my time in skirts and lingerie which I no longer consider as strictly women's clothing. I never considered myself to be a female; always a man. Look at the spectrum of clothes that people wear. Is there are a clearly defined demarcation line? On this side female on that male. What I wear all the day long is what I like, what is comfortable to wear. I no longer think of myself as crossdressing, just wearing my clothes.
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  6. #56
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    North East USA
    Quote Originally Posted by KimberlyJean View Post question and hopes for cordial answers is how do you identify and can you explain why you feel that way?
    Hi Kimberly,

    I've been thinking a lot about this.
    By "how you identify", I presume you mean male, female, NB, etc, etc? After all, that's what this whole site is about!

    But after pondering it for a while, I have to say "none of the above".
    If I had to answer ... it would be parent, grandparent, scientist. Those are the big identities.

    M/F, etc, are all secondary. If some magic were to happen and I woke up as a genetic female tomorrow, I'd be "whatever". I'd probably wear dresses a lot, and occasionally "cross dress" in 3-piece men's suits or the like. But I'd still identify as those other things.

    If I had to answer something in the gender space, it would be either "male with a little bit of femaleness" or "a little bit of female with a lot of maleness". That all leads to the question of "why am I here?" - well, that's simple, I cross dress. When I signed up for the site I was more in the "what's going on with me? am I this? am I that? am I somewhere in between?" kind of space and hoped to get a bit of a sense of direction to start working all that out. I think that it's been an amazing success in that I've come to realize that (to me) it's not that important -- almost, but not quite, as trivial as hair color (ok, that might be a little overly simplified). I realize that for many other people, the question of gender identity is fundamental and critical -- and it's reading those accounts that have led me to realize that my gender id is not that fundamental to me.

    Sometimes I feel this way, sometimes that, and it's comforting to conform to how I feel ... but if I don't, it's no big deal either.

    So why do I cross dress then? I think a lot is that it acknowledges & accepts & comforts my female bits. Even though I am physically deep in the closet, psychologically, to me, I am out and not denying/fighting/...

    Hope that helps &
    Thanks for letting me rant

    p.s. I hope no one takes my general thought that gender identity is "no big deal" as applying to anyone but me ... the fact that it _is_ a big deal to so many/all of _you_ serves as fine examples against which I can judge myself. -- fran
    Last edited by Fran-K; 05-21-2019 at 05:33 AM.

  7. #57
    Silver Member franlee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    SE USA
    I am a straight male that enjoys a vivid imagination and indulging myself in my fantasies and desires. So to explain this is simple I learned many years ago I only need to be me and that is who I am no matter what I'm doing or wearing.
    It's worth something just being around to Fuss!

  8. #58
    Somewhere in-between. Krea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Kent, England
    I don't know exactly where i fit into the spectrum.
    I don't want to transition but neither do i identify with traditional masculine streotypes. I guess these days i think of myself as gender-blurred, or perhaps gender-indifferent. The best i can do is just be the person i wanna be, whatever that is....
    "Welcome to my scene.
    A place that's in-between.
    Where the squares fit the rounds."
    (Lyrics by Queensryche)

  9. #59
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Just got back to Illinois (from Burbank)
    I feel that I'm a "feminine" angel in human disguise.
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  10. #60
    Junior Member Chloe_S's Avatar
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    May 2019
    Orange County
    I just happen to also wear women's clothes.

  11. #61
    Senior Member Robbin_Sinclair's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    A Tropical Isle
    Quote Originally Posted by Samm View Post
    Hi Kimberly Jean! for me, I never thought of myself as a woman. Or being in the wrong body etc. I am male.
    But.... on the inside, I can definitely put myself as somewhere in the middle. I don't feel I'm one or the other, but more a little of both. Some days I'm more male, some not so much. I see it as constantly moving, like a seesaw or the waves of an ocean. Sometimes it's difficult to keep up, and I do struggle with it from time to time.
    Hi ... I think that says it best for me too. When I first joined this site, i had more questions about being a man who struggled to be some sterotype of what was around me. It sort of Chicago/Italian family man but my family were above being part of the neighborhood. This was my concept of what I had to contend with to be successful where I lived.

    A lot has passed since the old days but I am always thinking of the manly things I did to fit in. I’d love to shave fully and not have to play a role but I can’t. And that’s okay.

    I’ve been a woman many times in life. Not sure when but part of me was always on the bottom for a long period of time. It feels very comfortable to be. It always did.

    AND I’ve learned to smile! Thanks CDdotcom. ❤️❤️〰️robbin

    PS Thanks for the nice question. Mississippi. Someday I want to go there for the banjo music ... to play and look like Meridith Moon. What a dream. ~by XX
    Last edited by Robbin_Sinclair; 05-23-2019 at 09:20 AM.

  12. #62
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Trans Female, because I should have been born a girl.

  13. #63
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Costa Rica
    I don't understand. I don't identify.

  14. #64
    Seňora Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    I identify as Transgender because drag or drab, I am a GM that always feels like a woman and I always have since I was like 10 years old.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 05-23-2019 at 11:35 AM.

  15. #65
    Kali Sopwith Kalisopwith's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    I think I am closer to a dual personality.... but not in a strange way. I have a male personality and a female one.

  16. #66
    Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Growing up in the 50's &60's we didn't have the concepts of bi gendered or gender fluid. Even transgender(transsexualism in those days) wasn't much on the radar. You were either male or female or queer. I spent much of my early life trying to prove to myself I wasn't the latter. This made me a more timid, secretive and introverted person than I probably would have been otherwise.

    Now, at 69 I know I am not a woman; My body dysphoria is not strong enough to make me think about transitioning after a lifetime of conforming to the social expectations of a male bodied person. On the other hand, I feel no real identification with maleness, other than habituation. I have some feminine hobbies, but almost any hobby nowadays can really be seen as androgynous. I dress in woman's clothing most days, but it's not just about the clothes. I am married for 40 years to a woman, and at her request I don't go out dressed.

    So, I guess, bi gendered, gender fluid, or agender. I'm coming to the concept late in life, so I guess I'll just let the pronoun issue slide.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  17. #67
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    just west of syracuse n.y.
    I'm a Crossdresser. I have no idea why but glad I'm like I am.

  18. #68
    Junior Member Manasi's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Cork, Ireland
    It's an interesting question, and one that most friends ask when I come out to them. I guess the short answer is non-binary or gender-fluid.

    Earlier, when I only dressed in private and kept it a secret from everyone, I felt the need to be a girl constantly. As I started coming out to more friends, having conversations about girls' stuff, and going out in public, the frequency of wanting to be a girl has become less, but it's still there. Given a choice, would I be a guy at all? If I could switch at will, I think I would choose to be a guy about half the time, and a girl half the time. I don't see that happening outside of science fiction or fantasy, though!

  19. #69
    New Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Personally, I know I am both male and female currently in a male body. I love clothes and in particular female clothes as it helps me express.
    I know I don't want to be a woman fully and I am not a man fully. But having both parts is a awesome gift! so cool to go either way - no boundaries

  20. #70
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Central Arkansas, U.S
    I am Transgender. No matter my outside appearance, inside I am female. I present as a male for my wife and her world. I am happy as I am and feel no need to upset any carts that don’t need overturning.
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  21. #71
    Junior Member Hogrom's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    I'm just myself. Which means, I like sometimes to dress as a woman, but I feel like I'm still a man (or genderless).

    I use my male voice, no fake breast...I don't feel the need to force on aspect I do not like.

    However, I don't dislike when someone use Miss towards men, since I take this as a form of respect.
    Last edited by Hogrom; 06-02-2019 at 01:46 PM.

  22. #72
    Member josie_S's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Northeast somewhere
    Quote Originally Posted by Kalisopwith View Post
    I think I am closer to a dual personality.... but not in a strange way. I have a male personality and a female one.
    what Kali said ����

    I feel totally different when I'm all made up. I love it

  23. #73
    Member Melissa_Me's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Staffordshire, England
    I'm a man in a man's body.
    But I love the variety of clothes on offer to women and how just simply changing from daytime underwear into a sexy thong or a classy dress can change your mood.

    I love dressing and the fun it brings but I'll always be a man.

  24. #74
    Aspiring Member Cristy2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Jacksonville, Florida
    I was born into a religious culture where if it hangs you are a man and if it doesn't you are a woman, no questions about it. However growing up, I always knew I was different from the boys and many of them knew it too. I was severally bullied as a child by other boys (and even some of my own family) because I hated most boy type activities and was drawn to girl activities though I dared not to partake in many due to the repercussions that would have came from the bullies, family, and church. Then from my late teens until my early forties, I buried myself into every kind of guy or manly thing that I could bury myself into tying to hide from what I knew I really was inside. Then a dear friend (known here as Christinac) came out to me as being trans and began to transition and that encouraged me to, instead of hiding what I am, explore what I really am. I still not a hundred percent "out" yet, but I am not hiding as much as I once was too.

  25. #75
    🌹🙈🌹🙉🌹🙊🌹 Patience's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    How I identify?

    I check my underwear, of course!
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

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