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Thread: How do you identify? And can you explain why?

  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzy1 View Post
    My daughter tells me that a woman and mans brains show no differences and its only upbringing and pressure from society that moulds us into acting male or female as we grow up.
    personally I am unconvinced, but seeing as I am a moron and she is a senior research scientist one has to wonder?
    Suzy, let her read this: https://www.webmd.com/brain/features...rains-differ#1

    Or this: https://stanmed.stanford.edu/2017spr...different.html

    and this: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017...-men-and-women

  2. #52
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarinaTwelve200 View Post

    On the surface, looking at the posts, I might seem to be the odd exception to the rule, but there are a LOT of guys out there that are like me---We just are not as "vocal" or inclined to write as much as those who have more "complex" identity issues.
    Marina, I would say, without doing the math, 80% of the replies state they identify as male. I knew starting the thread that those of us who aren't fully transitioned but are women were in the minority.

  3. #53
    Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    umm-m-m. Conflicted / defeated??

    I've always known (as far back as I can remember) that I was supposed to have been born a girl. I even began counselling / HRT in my 40's to 'make the switch'.

    But I'm also a realist, and the mirror isn't a friend. At a point on the way, my reflection reminded me that I'd "never fit in" if I continued on that course.

    That - and the potential cost (financial, familial, social, etc.) of transitioning stopped me. I guess that my need isn't so strong that I had to say "damn the torpedos"

    I live - uncomfortably- somewhere in the middle... male to the outside world, dressed feminine (a bit) at home, wishing I had more but knowing that understanding that I'm in an OK spot. It's a compromise, but it works. Other than this unsatisfied longing/desire/not-quite-need, I have a good life and don't want to do anything to mess it up.

    How does that phrase go - something about living lives of "quiet desperation"?

  4. #54
    Multi-Blogger Barbara Black's Avatar
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    Born male, but was lousy at it. it took about 50 years for me to discover why. Crossdressing had always been just a fetishy thing for me until I began to understand myself after a long long time.

  5. #55
    Nylons lover Salerba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bea_ View Post
    I identify as totally male and see my taste in clothes from the other side of the aisle as an expansion of my masculine prerogative rather than as a turn to femininity. I see much of what's considered to be masculine/feminine as just arbitrary distinctions.
    As a MIAD I have to agree with that pronouncement. I am a man but spend most of my time in skirts and lingerie which I no longer consider as strictly women's clothing. I never considered myself to be a female; always a man. Look at the spectrum of clothes that people wear. Is there are a clearly defined demarcation line? On this side female on that male. What I wear all the day long is what I like, what is comfortable to wear. I no longer think of myself as crossdressing, just wearing my clothes.
    Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimberlyJean View Post
    ...my question and hopes for cordial answers is how do you identify and can you explain why you feel that way?
    Hi Kimberly,

    I've been thinking a lot about this.
    By "how you identify", I presume you mean male, female, NB, etc, etc? After all, that's what this whole site is about!

    But after pondering it for a while, I have to say "none of the above".
    Huh?
    If I had to answer ... it would be parent, grandparent, scientist. Those are the big identities.

    M/F, etc, are all secondary. If some magic were to happen and I woke up as a genetic female tomorrow, I'd be "whatever". I'd probably wear dresses a lot, and occasionally "cross dress" in 3-piece men's suits or the like. But I'd still identify as those other things.

    If I had to answer something in the gender space, it would be either "male with a little bit of femaleness" or "a little bit of female with a lot of maleness". That all leads to the question of "why am I here?" - well, that's simple, I cross dress. When I signed up for the site I was more in the "what's going on with me? am I this? am I that? am I somewhere in between?" kind of space and hoped to get a bit of a sense of direction to start working all that out. I think that it's been an amazing success in that I've come to realize that (to me) it's not that important -- almost, but not quite, as trivial as hair color (ok, that might be a little overly simplified). I realize that for many other people, the question of gender identity is fundamental and critical -- and it's reading those accounts that have led me to realize that my gender id is not that fundamental to me.

    Sometimes I feel this way, sometimes that, and it's comforting to conform to how I feel ... but if I don't, it's no big deal either.

    So why do I cross dress then? I think a lot is that it acknowledges & accepts & comforts my female bits. Even though I am physically deep in the closet, psychologically, to me, I am out and not denying/fighting/...

    Hope that helps &
    Thanks for letting me rant
    Fran

    p.s. I hope no one takes my general thought that gender identity is "no big deal" as applying to anyone but me ... the fact that it _is_ a big deal to so many/all of _you_ serves as fine examples against which I can judge myself. -- fran
    Last edited by Fran-K; Today at 05:33 AM.

  7. #57
    Silver Member franlee's Avatar
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    I am a straight male that enjoys a vivid imagination and indulging myself in my fantasies and desires. So to explain this is simple I learned many years ago I only need to be me and that is who I am no matter what I'm doing or wearing.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
    It's worth something just being around to Fuss!

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