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Thread: does your femme persona have a back story?

  1. #26
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I think there is some basis in this just due to the fact that so many of us have had to present a face to the world as "Not a cross dresser", while knowing that really , a cross dresser (or transgender or what have you.) is what we really are. This is especially true of those of us who grew up in the 50's and 60's. There is a big difference between "out" and "not out' and I think that has a lot to do with why many of us are on this site.

    It's not exactly a different back story, but it's a different face that we present to the world.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  2. #27
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Although persona might not be the right word to use, I can tell you where my name came from. I started out using Resserd (dresser backwards) then eventually changed it to Ressie. I wanted a name that was unusual.

    My back story is similar to most CDs. Started out at a young age wearing one fem garment (panties). As time went on I tried on clothes that belonged to my sister, mom and girlfriends. Becoming a member here and seeing how others have developed I got into buying more clothes, wigs, accesories, makeup etc. I've learned so much over the last decade!

    I don't really become Ressie when I dress. It's just a name I use when meeting others when temporarily transformed (instead of Bill).
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Well said Ressie. You put me in mind of my gamer buddies. To them I'm Icon. And that means Wing Co., good at what I do, leading, being a smart arse etc. Same as Abbie is a name I use when I'm doing these things.
    Hey Jacques. We all kinda thought 'duh, no backstory' at first but I love this thread. Thanks

  4. #29
    Member Sandy Clifton's Avatar
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    My coworkers learned that Sandy and I share the same
    last name because she's my ex-wife (and we're never
    seen together due to a restraining order).

    IRL I've never been married, if that helps make things
    any less weird.

  5. #30
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    My Texas Bestie Sandy Clifton doesn't chime in often but I knew with 100% certainty she'd comment here. PS - I have no back story, I've just sorta evolved over the decades. Hugs, Michelle

  6. #31
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    No. I'm me, same as I always have been.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #32
    Aspiring Member Cristy2's Avatar
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    I'm just me. Never tried to be anyone else, but I have spent too many years trying to hide from who I really am due to several (some quite lame) reasons ranging from family and religion to politics. I wish I knew how to explain it better where it could make more sense. I guess the best way of putting it is I lived like a turtle. I had this huge shell of "manly" things that I would bury myself into to hide from who and what I really am.

  8. #33
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    Cristy 2; I am guessing, most of us have been on similar roads.
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  9. #34
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    I'm re-visiting this thread, because it has been on my mind.

    I'd love it if the OP came back and expanded on what she meant by her use of the term 'backstory'.

    In my younger days, I was an avid role player gamer. 'Dungeons & Dragons', 'Rifts', 'Gamma World', and a host of others. So to me, the term 'backstory' is what we gamers would do to flesh out our characters in order to give them 3-dimensionality, and a sense of history.

    I don't want to seem derisive, or condemning, but the OP's use of 'backstory' made me think that they consider their crossdressing to be a fantasy game, and that others share that view.

    Now I know we have the gamut here, from those that only wear panties all the way up and including post-op transpeople, so I'm curious as to the direction that the OP is heading in.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

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  10. #35
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Interesting take on the question, Jodie. I agree that some might take offense to the notion (implied or not) that being TG is akin to an RPG. On the other hand, for some, that's probably a big part of it. More power to them - consenting adults and all that.

    I'd like to think that anyone who has spent any time here and paid attention to what's going on would realize, ...and respect, that not everyone is into role-playing in that way. You don't have to be Captain Obvious to realize that for some, playing the role that came with our gender at birth is the make believe part.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  11. #36
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    @Aunt Kelly, oh I wasn't offended, by any means!

    I'm just trying to figure out the OP's angle, what she is hoping to find from this.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  12. #37
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    Yes, sort of. I'm guessing that the difference is between those whose crossdressing is a facet of their personality vis-a-vis those of us who are more transgendered.

    I've never thought of myself as anything but a girl. However; I was the first born grandchild on both sides of the family. I was also the first born grandson ( which sounds strange to me just saying that) to a man who very much wanted a grandson. A "manly grandson". I also have the added "bonus" of being the oldest son of the oldest son, back as far anyone could remember. I know that in today generation that doesn't mean as much as it used to, but I still caught the residue.

    I had to learn to be a boy, then a man. I did all the manly things and really I do have two seperate personalities. Though I don't black out or lose time or anything like that. But; I do tend to have different taste, desires, needs,ect .

    For instance my "brother" is hetero, the idea that he would have sex with a man would make him a bit unsettled. He is not homophobic, just not his cup of tea. Absolutely not turned on by the idea. And a good thing, will decades in the Army he doesn't need to think inappropriate thoughts in the shower....

    Having said that both sides have their own real histories and memories. Most memories are common but some just sort of fade away when the "other" is in charge. I don't really remember his combat experiences and he doesn't remember my sexual experiences. I think we both could if we wanted to, we just don't want to. I also tend to compartmentalize very well. I have friends, my "brother" has friends and there is a small group of close friends who know both. Those that know both commonly tell me that we are just two different people, in every way that counts.

    So, the original question. Yes, I have a different backstory from my "brother" but only because we have lived our lives as two different people living in two different worlds with two sets of unique memories. We even have different hobbies. I restore antiques, he restores muscle cars.

  13. #38
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    You mean like saying one was bitten by a radioactive woman, that sort of thing?
    You win the forums.

  14. #39
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    I wanted to ad that when I saw the original post, I thought it a very natural question. Not just from my perspective but I know drag queens who have back stories for their "characters". I know a few others that live seperate lives.

    I was kind of surprised when I saw all the "no's.

  15. #40
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    I am with you Michellebej. In my mind and opinion, feel everyone has a back story. It is just how strong and surreal it is compared to their real life. Even those of us who are 24/7 have a point where they used a back story until they could finally go 24/7.
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  16. #41
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    I'm not sure if that question involves just our 'femme' name that we've chosen.

    I do have a back story, not sure if that involves my dressing and urge to do so. Only since last year I've been thinking about that.
    Perhaps my story sounds a little weird, but this happened to me.

    When I went to elemntary school, I went to school with the daughter of our neighbours. One day, he mother and she invited me for a swim at a lake nearby, we both must have been around 6-8 years, many many years ago.
    Her name was Anja.
    After swimming her mother wanted to change her bathing suit. Anja got completly naked.
    I believe it must have been a schock for me, because I saw a penis between her legs.

    I never had anymore contact with her, I don't know if we would call her intersexual, perhaps she was one of the few people born with two genders - physically.

    That incident did change something in me, but I can't really explain that. I do have a lot of respect for transwomen, that's for sure.

  17. #42
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    Aunt Kelly makes a good point.
    To somebody that does this for a fun thing or on a lark might have a fantasy about it all so they would see things that way.
    Even might think everyone is just like them. Projecting is what that is called.
    My "back story" is way more interesting than my trans story that is for sure.

  18. #43
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    Not any more. That went away once I was fully out to friends and family, and living full time female. I legally merged my female chosen first name and birth surname, and the male me is now acknowledged past.

    When I first started going out in public en-femme, I kept my male and female lives separate. Did not frequent the same places, and had entirely different circles of friends. The only places things crossed over was shopping, where for the most part I was just another face in a crowd.

    At that time, when en-femme, I would state I was widowed. This was true, though the phrase ‘I am a widow’ implies female, and I never said I was a ‘widower’, the much less used male term.

    If anyone asked why the surname I used - “Murakami” - was Japanese, while my appearance wasn't at all Asian, I stated it had been my late husband’s surname. But almost no one ever asked that.

    I implied I had beed married to a man, but usually did not say so directly. If anyone assumed that the daughter I acknowledged having was one I had birthed, I did not correct that error. Sometimes, in LGBTQ settings, I would state that it was my daughter’s ‘birth mother’ who was my deceased mate - also true, but implying we had a lesbian relationship, which we did not.

    If anyone assumed I was cisgender female - and I did pass that well in many straight social settings - I did not correct that error, unless they seemed to want to get more intimate than hugs and dancing. If they wanted kisses or more, I was open about being trans. In general, among friends, I was open about being trans, and having repressed that until after my wife died. This I still do. I am female now!

    As I started to come out, and occasionally would appear at the same historical reenactment (SCA) events as both my old male persona, and my new female one, I would say we were cousins, to explain the facial resemblance. But again, I rarely had need to do so.
    Last edited by Ceera; 06-03-2019 at 10:49 AM.

  19. #44
    Aspiring Member Cristy2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KimberlyJean View Post
    I guess on the record now I have had a mammogram.
    I was just reading an article, on one of those medical pages the other day, about how it is equally as important for transgendered women on HRT to have routine mammograms.

  20. #45
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michellebej View Post
    I wanted to ad that when I saw the original post, I thought it a very natural question. Not just from my perspective but I know drag queens who have back stories for their "characters". I know a few others that live seperate lives.

    I was kind of surprised when I saw all the "no's.
    But you laid it out, right there: A Drag Queen, who is performing a show, is a 'character', like any actor/actress. Just because they glam up, doesn't mean that they live their lives that way. Paul Andre Charles is NOT the same as his alter ego.

    YaYa Han (an Asian-American cosplayer, and cis-female) is NOT the anime characters she portrays.

    I would think that most crossdressers, while having a female name and persona, are not playing a game, and therefore have no need of a backstory. Unless they are indulging in a fetish-y kind of role play. Which, I might add, is perfectly fine.
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  21. #46
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michellebej View Post
    I wanted to ad that when I saw the original post, I thought it a very natural question. Not just from my perspective but I know drag queens who have back stories for their "characters". I know a few others that live seperate lives.

    I was kind of surprised when I saw all the "no's.
    But drag queens are (for the most part) literally portraying a character. It’s the same as an actor playing a character and that character having back story.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimberlyJean View Post
    Are you trying to imply she was educated on transgender issues and I wasn't passing? That would be awful catty for someone I don't even know.

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  22. #47
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    I don't complete understand your proposal but may be my names history fits.
    I always love the name of Vanessa. The story doesn't matter now but was very sensual and sexual for me. My name David, obviously is a man's name so being a trasgender on HRT my life and mindset changed and Vanessa didn't fit who I am. My wife always used a nickname for David as Devito, but short it to Devi. I was decided to be Debbie that sounds similar but one day driving and Indian indu lady told me that Devi is a the name of the main goddess, mother of all gods in Hinduism and was considered a beautiful name, then she told me, I don't know that Devi fits you better than Debbie and I found she has the reason.
    About a separate or parallel life or story, we all trasgenders begin living our trans life early in life but some as me didn't identify those treats in their moment, for different reasons we can mentally block them, but now my life began early in my childhood around my fourth year.
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
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  23. #48
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello all,
    many thanks for your replies - I have enjoyed reading them.
    For me I am a private crossdresser with a beard so it is not a huge issue for me (apart from occasionally when shopping). But if I tried to pass it might be. For example I would have trouble explaining how I attended a boys only school if I was female.
    My question was prompted by a story I heard on the radio where a female media personality in the UK invented her own agent to manage her bookings, and then people wanted to speak to and meet agent, so she had to start inventing more and more complex stories to explain why her agent was busy ...
    That just sparked my curiosity, which you have now satisfied. Many thanks
    Luv J

  24. #49
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Well, as the story suggests, doing so creates more problems than it solves.

    In my opinion, crossdressing is an exercise in fantasy, not farce. Ok, maybe even a bit of farce, but only up to a point.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  25. #50
    A Sweet Girl Roxanne Lanyon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Aunt Kelly makes a good point.
    To somebody that does this for a fun thing or on a lark might have a fantasy about it all so they would see things that way.
    Even might think everyone is just like them. Projecting is what that is called.
    My "back story" is way more interesting than my trans story that is for sure.
    Traci, I do respect you so much. I would adore to hear your "backstory" some time. Roxanne Lanyon, "A Girl Of Your Own Heart"
    As Sweet As I Can Ever Be

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