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Thread: Question for those that go out dressed with their spouse

  1. #1
    Member RachelB.'s Avatar
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    Question for those that go out dressed with their spouse

    What is the one thing that happens when out that really pushes your spouses buttons?

    My lovely wife gets really irritated when we are out for a meal and the server asks if we need separate checks. I don't know why it bugs her but it does. We only have been going out for a couple of years with me dressed and I guess after 40 years she just doesn't expect it. She just laughs it off and usually tells the server that she is treating tonight.

  2. #2
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    My wife an I have only been out a couple if times, so not much to report, I fear. But I want to hear the other responses!

  3. #3
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    So people who go out naked with their spouses need not reply?

    Why are they left hanging out?
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  4. #4
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    Patience, I did have a couple of friends who referred to themselves as 'card carrying nudists'. Which begged the question 'where do you carry the card???'

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Leelou's Avatar
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    I don't think it's a problem that they ask about separate checks. If anything, it's respecting your presentation that they're not assuming that you're a married couple. Just a couple of ladies out to dinner.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    Leelou you took the words right out of my mouth.

  7. #7
    Happy to be here! mattea's Avatar
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    My wife and I had this discussion weekend before last. We were at a TGI Fridays for lunch and the waitress came up and said, "are you ladies together or separate", my wife just said together and took care of the bill. But it spawned a conversation on how we present. We have to keep in mind that while we are feeling that sense of freedom presenting as who we want to be, there is a possibility that we are forcing our wives to present in a way that may not be comfortable to them, because when we are out without me dressing we hold hands and show regular affection. I have been a little standoffish with my wife because I want to respect her sensibilities and the discussion of the fact that most people don't see us a couple when we are out as ladies got us into discussing the display of affection and even just holding hands and what we discovered is that my wife is just as happy holding my hand enfemme as she is when I am in drab. Later that evening we saw a lesbian couple holding hands and that sealed the deal. She does get a bit frustrated when people stare at me, especially guys, which at first I thought was because they were "reading me" and she was coming to my defense, but come to find out her reasoning is because she is jealous and wants to kick anyone's butt that has interest in me.

    I do get why your wife gets frustrated I was a bit put off by it as well when the waitress asked if we were separate checks, but you can't blame the waitress unless they know our situation and if you think about it, the waitress is just seeing two ladies out for a meal.....
    Love makes everyone equal.

  8. #8
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    My wife and I have only been out a couple of times, so far so good. She seems to enjoy Jill's company and calls me her preferred shopping partner. As for the separate check question, I don't think it would bother her one bit and she would use it to confirm the fact that I am passing well.
    Jill

  9. #9
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    mattea when my wife and I show the same affections towards each other in public when I am DRAG as we do when I am DRAB.

    In fact I she is a little more affectionate than usual when I am DRAG and she has a few drinks in her.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 06-04-2019 at 08:40 AM.

  10. #10
    Member Jennifer0874's Avatar
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    My wife doesn’t like that I make her take the lead because of my desire to feel feminine. When in drab I am quite chivalrous but when dressed I defer the “male” tasks to her. Having doors opened for me is a primer example.

    Recently she stated “you know I like to feel like a woman too”.

  11. #11
    Member Melissa_Me's Avatar
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    I haven't been out in the world yet with my wife but I wouldn't change who I am and how I act around her just because I'm dressed.
    She is still my wife and I would continue to open doors for her and pick up the bill.

    We are a very affectionate couple anyway so continuing that out in public both dressed as girls wouldn't change, but she would probably be like same as Mattes she'd step in protect me and kick anyone's ass that showed an interest, good or bad
    Xx

  12. #12
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    Well I did it again...

    I noticed a grammar error in my post, the Grammar Nazi in me couldn't live with it and before I could stop myself I tried to edit my post and THE BOARD DELETED IT.

    Well I have had enough. I think I am done here.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    I can't think of anything except she once mentioned to me the holding hands thing and pulled away. She was making sure I wasn't doing it mindlessly.

  14. #14
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I still see your earlier post, Roberta!

    Rachel, if that's the worst problem u and your wife have with your dressing? You're LIVING THE DREAM, girl!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
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    Doc, I had the first response (post #2) and re entered it probably was (post #7 or ) anyway I am searching for an alternative forum that works better for me on several levels.

  16. #16
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    We act the same way whether I'm dressed or in drab. Been that way since we were in High School

  17. #17
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Really the only thing that bugs her is when we go out shopping and she sees something she likes and it’s my size and not hers, but it’s not really a big deal. It’s also not limited to going out en femme.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Melissa_Me View Post
    I haven't been out in the world yet with my wife but I wouldn't change who I am and how I act around her just because I'm dressed.
    She is still my wife and I would continue to open doors for her and pick up the bill.

    We are a very affectionate couple anyway so continuing that out in public both dressed as girls wouldn't change, but she would probably be like same as Mattes she'd step in protect me and kick anyone's ass that showed an interest, good or bad
    Xx
    Ha ha. No offense, but you say that now, but once the thrill and adrenaline of going out the first time hits, all bets are off.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macey View Post
    Patience, I did have a couple of friends who referred to themselves as 'card carrying nudists'. Which begged the question 'where do you carry the card???'
    A fanny pack of course.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macey View Post
    Patience, I did have a couple of friends who referred to themselves as 'card carrying nudists'. Which begged the question 'where do you carry the card???'
    You glue it to your pubes. Like a fig leaf.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV View Post
    A fanny pack of course.
    Very different (though more accurate) meaning in the UK.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV View Post
    A fanny pack of course.
    You mean fanny packed.

  21. #21
    Luv doing girl stuff CherylFlint's Avatar
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    Because I have a male voice when my wife and I go out she does the ordering,
    so they know who gets the (one) check.

  22. #22
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Mostly it's what would be considered "male" things, like holding the door for her. She always says, "I can do that".
    The only other thing that bothers her a bit is when I use the ladies room. I just tell her it's safer that the men's room if I'm dressed as a woman.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  23. #23
    KatelynMae's SO KayC's Avatar
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    I guess the server doesn't know how to handle it...it might be better if the server asks if you want one or separate checks, leaving either option open. Not a biggie!
    Enacting life's lessons into positive change...

  24. #24
    YOULOVEMYTOES Palaina Nocturnus's Avatar
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    Even if I am 100% dressed up, if I'm with my girlfriend I always get the check lol the funny part is I always hand her the check.

    I'll bet I've been viewed as maybe a loser because I'm making a female pay for a man's meal while he pretends to be a female. All of my money automatically goes into her account so we pay it all from one card. I have collections after me, so I don't have my own account.

    Perception is reality to some I guess lol

  25. #25
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    Ha ha the service always clocks me and hands me the check.

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