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Thread: Another great day out and some food for thought !

  1. #1
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    Another great day out and some food for thought !

    I probably don't have to remind people but my old home town is still a problem at times to me , well a spur of the moment decision to do something about it .

    Part of the problem is my ongoing debate about attending my painting group as Teresa , the problem being if other members didn't accept the situation and enough people dropped out the class could be withdrawn . This morning I had so many small jobs to do assciated with my home renovation I realised I could do most of them in my old town and possibly drop into the Art Centre to have coffee with my group . I was intending to wear a cotton skirt with Tshirt and wedges but it was so cold and windy I had to accept jeans , Tshirt with a cardiagan and jacket with ankle boots , otherwise I put my normal amount of makeup on . The first job was top up with fuel at the self service pump , I then parked and just made it for their coffee break , the first person who saw me was a lady I'd known the longest she couldn't work out who the blond lady was smiling at her until the penny dropped , the same happened again with another old friend . The lovely girl at the coffee shop didn't realise who I was until I spoke ( which is a point I want to come back to ) . The rest of the group soon felt comfortable and we all chatted as normal , I had to smile as appearing dressed does change the style of conversation people have with you , the inevitable one about makeup came up .
    After the coffee break I wanted to see the results of the latest project so followed them upstairs to the art room , within a few minutes I was working round the group and offering suggestions and this is where the point about changing you voice came up . There was no point in even attempting it , all the people knew me so talking in a differnt voice would have appeared to be odd to them , they were all perfectly comfortable with me being dressed as Teresa , the real point is they wanted to tallk about their projects and possibly get some help . To me this was the ideal situation , I know now I can run my own group and be accpeted , what I look like and sound like is secondary to them .

    After I'd said my goodbyes I decided to catch with an old friend who runs a costume /fancy dress shop, I haven't seen her for about a year . She saw me walk in and stepped from behind the counter to give me a huge hug , she then said , " I'm so proud of you , you look wonderful , your smile says it all !" We chatted for several minutes in general before she stated that she could see I'm happy and very confident but was I thinking of going any further ? I told her I didn't think so as I feel very comfortable with my situation and doubted if hormones or possibly surgery was necessary . She then said , " Please don't , or at least think very hard , as I have two friends who were happy like you but felt they needed to transition , they are are both now very unhappy people ! They've got over the surgery but what's really getting to them is the isolation , they have what they wanted but no one to share it with !" I didn't see her mother sitting at the far end of the counter but she added to the conversation by saying , " It's actually easier to support a transgender than it is a transsexual , the family promise support but after surgery too much has changed !"

    After a hug from both of them I had a walk through the High Street before heading to my new home town where I had to drop in at my local Screwfix to buy door furniture and then onto the builders merchant for a couple of lengths of woodtrim .

    It was a great day but also some food for thought !

  2. #2
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    Well you seam to have had a great day. I bet it feels good to know your some of your fears or
    restrictions are now gone.
    I wish the best for you in the future in your town.
    Rader

  3. #3
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing a great story! Congrats to you!
    Hugs, Carole

  4. #4
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Teresa, I’m so glad your finding a level of acceptance being you. And to your friends mothers point I think to some extent
    that is why I feel as I do about the complete transition. I’m getting along just fine without it and it seems you are as well

  5. #5
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    Nice story of interaction with others. Happy you're content with your choices and not being pushed further than you feel comfortable with.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Teresa,

    It's so often written here when it comes to say talking those first steps into the wider world that our fears are more to do with what's in our heads that what's actually going to happen in reality.

    Isn't this a case in point that your fears were a product of your imaginings? Okay this is a step further but it's just that, a step further but just that little bit closer to home. A group of people who you know. A group of people who, as it turns out, are readily prepared to accept you warts and all, simply for the person they've known.

    Yes I have to acknowledge that it had the potential to go wrong. However it didn't.

    Have you considered thanking the group for being so accepting? For taking you for the person you are? Their replies could be very illuminating as to the general acceptance of our community.
    Last edited by Helen_Highwater; 06-06-2019 at 04:05 AM.

  7. #7
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    Helen,
    I have Emailed the group the group leader to ask his feelings about the situation after taking in the comments from the group after I left . As I said my fears on this subject are more to do with my actions having an adverse effect and so bring about the closure of the group . Obviously the Art Centre can't use the TG subject as a reason now we have formal policies in place but there's no pleasing everyone and it only takes one to upset the apple cart .

  8. #8
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I probably don't have to remind people but my old home town is still a problem at times to me , well a spur of the moment decision to do something about it .

    " It's actually easier to support a transgender than it is a transsexual , the family promise support but after surgery too much has changed !"



    It was a great day but also some food for thought !
    "Changed" is a perception..The core or sole of the person does not change..Whatever happened to "If you truly care about me,then you will want what I want for myself" ??? Sadly,often not how it goes..
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  9. #9
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Ok, You way over think things.

    Learn, no one cares, they see past the covering and see the person.

    Let it be, you don't need to ask permission. Just live your life now. Everything will become normal, well kind of. You, as I am, are TG. This is a good thing, you can wear whatever you want. You already know how to be , just be yourself, I know that everyone will not be able to stop from falling in love with you, as this is what has happened to me.

    My voice is the one thing that I really don't change much. I just speak with a little softer voice.

    She is right, as you are.

    You can live just as you are. I have been doing it now for a few years. WOW, how time just flies.

    She is right, are you not suppose to do as I have done. That is socially transition before going under the knife. I can honestly say that it would make no difference to my friends.

    It is not everyone else that has to make an adjustment, but you. It is really just in your head.

    It is not as big a deal as you think, it just isn't. The TG thing, You on the other hand are special, it is the things that make you well you that people see and love. This is what I mean when I say be yourself. Like your keen eye. Clothes are only a small part of you now, as this all just becomes part of life.

    I had to explain some of this to my roommate the other day. I am taking her to her sisters for the fourth of july. Her sister lives down by Sherry about a two to three hour drive without traffic. She brought up my dress, this set me off. I don't like anyone telling me what I can wear. Well she was concerned that I would be running around in club wear. She said that around the house and when we go out that I look so nice like a lady. I had to explain to her that I have like grown up. How I now dress more like my friends, GGs, as these are the people I want to empress.

    Appearance is important , but still only part of what makes you Teresa.

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