Recently, owing largely to my father's apprehensive and negative reactions to my increasingly feminine presentation and his fear that it may negatively impact my future (which is real and legitimate), I have lost confidence in myself and the sense of security in my identity that I was developing. I haven't been out dressed alone in about a week and the thought of doing so gives me intense anxiety especially when I think about his reaction if he ever found out. I don't go downtown anymore. I have stuck to trips with my mom with few or no people around and have greatly muted the clothing that I wear (I rarely even wear a floral pattern anymore). Thankfully, my mom doesn't care and tells me to present how I want no matter what, but that advice is hard to follow when I see my father's anxiety whenever I even suggest the idea of going out presenting female. It's making me doubt myself and even my identity because the strength confidence ambition and happiness I got from my gender identity exploration are all evaporating. I feel fake and invalid because I feel like if I were truly transgender I would persevere no matter what. I don't know what to do. My confidence is totally shattered. Has this ever happened to you and if so how did you get your confidence back (assuming you ever did)?
