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Thread: When my wifes attitude changed.

  1. #1
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    When my wifes attitude changed.

    The thread about CDing and marriages got me thinking about my ex wife and how our lives changed.

    When I met her; I was in law enforcement. I was a young detective. I had already done my first enlistment in the Army and was then in the Reserves. She..uh..really liked the uniforms. She was attracted to a manly man. I resisted at first; knowing who I really was, but she eventually got me to ask her out and things went on from there.

    Lol...two weeks later we were living together. A month after that she got a bit more serious and I felt it only honest to tell her about me. She was a bit confused but actually quite game...as long as she was in charge of the timing and the budget. She also did the make up, and not in a good way. I looked kind of cartoonish. At least in my opinion. However things went fairly well, and she came to want to be with Michelle, more and more...but still not on my terms and still not more than once or twice a week.

    About a year into our relationship, I woke up screaming and in a sweat from a nightmare. I had ptsd from combat. It was not a daily instance but something that happened a couple of times a month.

    Anyway....she went to the dresser and handed me a pair of panties and had me put them on. I looked at her like she was a bit batty.

    She told me that she had noticed that my nightmares went away when I dressed...well..really when we let Michelle out. I didn't believe her but it turned out she was right.

    After that she not only allowed it, she embraced it; and after a couple of smaller...not as intense...episodes I never suffered from nightmares again.

    AFter that she treated us as two different people. Which we are, more or less. She admitted more than once that she told me things about herself or her past that she would never have told my "brother".

    Within another year she and I ( Michelle) were bff's. We went out together as girlfriends. We eventually developed our own social circle, apart from the one that she and "my brother" had. We did a lot of fun stuff together, and even when we started having kids we arranged for "date" nights a couple,or more, times a month.

    Anyway......the point is that CDing saved my marriage; and probably my sanity!

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    I enjoyed reading your post. Thank you for sharing.

  3. #3
    Member Cheryllynn's Avatar
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    Yes, delightful post. Always good to hear of a positive change in a marriage and how it relates to CDing. Take care of that wife, she's a keeper. :-)
    -Cheryllynn

  4. #4
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    That's a great story! Did Michelle ever comes out on your terms?

  5. #5
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    I am a little confused, crossdressing saved your marriage yet she is your ex wife?

    Julie

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    Would be interesting if CDing becomes a standard PTSD treatment.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Wonderful story. Thank you for sharing.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Michelle, That is. wonderful story.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by baldy1 View Post
    I am a little confused, crossdressing saved your marriage yet she is your ex wife?

    Julie
    We were married for 14 years. We were from Northern California. I got a job offer on the East Coast. We moved, the wife and I, as well as our four kids.

    On the first day in the new city my wife's mother called and said "When are you coming home". Literally.

    This happened the second day, the third, ect. After three years of this my wife and I decided that she should take the kids, when school got out for the summer, and go visit her Mom till Christmas.

    This was before cell phones. I would call. Her Mom would answer and say my wife was not there, nor were the kids and to please stop calling. My wife would call and demand to know why I wasn't calling her. I told her about her Mom and she got quiet and we went on. The calls became less and less often till one day they stopped.

    My wife had a very bad pot habit. Like a quarter ounce a day habit; bad.

    Her Mom got her to go to NA. She got clean but like any addict looked for something to replace her "high".

    Now, in NA they tell you NOT to end or start a relationship while you are early in your program. Especially in the first year. But my wife "knew" better.

    My wife met a man who was intent on having a wife, family, and white picket fence. He couldn't have children of his own' and I guess it didn't hurt that my wife was second runner up in the Miss California contest in the late 70s.

    She got made at me for "not calling" and decided to punish me by going on a date with this guy; who was also a friend of her Mom's.

    Well, she got "high" and chased that feeling. By the time I got there in December she had fallen deeply. After that it gets more complicated, including my ex accidentally telling her mom about my cding. Suffice to say that I ended up divorcing her; for what seemed good reasons at the time. As a post script; by the time I divorced her, she was coming off the "high" but was still dealing with her Mom who was pushing hard for her to be with a man who would never make my wife leave home again.

    As an aside the new guy pushed for her to get married and she told him she could not get married because she was still married to me. And she kept that lie up for eight years, until he confronted me and I told him the truth. Two months later they got married in Reno. She didn't talk to me for 10 years; she was so mad at me.

    We recently had a long talk and we both agreed that if her Mom had never interfered we would still be married. She asked me if I were single and she were single if I thought we might get back together. I told her it was possible and she smiled...laughed and said "You have to become single first! I'm not going to be alone on a maybe".

    So that is why we divorced. My Mother in law did make a huge deal about my CDing, and it did drive a wedge as my wife very much is one of those people who wants other people to think good things of her. Ironically, her brother who came out as bi a few years later and her sister who came out as a lesbian just a couple of years ago, though we all knew it, have always been on my side. And her mother and father both apologized for breaking up our marriage at our daughters wedding a few months back.

    There ya go!
    Last edited by Michellebej; 06-09-2019 at 05:57 PM. Reason: fast fingers

  10. #10
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    Michellebej:
    That was quite a story, You have had a life that should be in a book and in the Movies.
    I am glad you can dress when you want to. That does make for a happy life for you.
    My Wife was OK with my dressing, but rule # 1 was do not leave the house, as to not
    embarrass her, as I am very well known in the area.
    Rader

  11. #11
    Member Valery L's Avatar
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    So crossdressing did not save your marriage...

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Valery L View Post
    So crossdressing did not save your marriage...
    Sure it did, the first time we had a crisis. She was going to leave me because of being unable to deal with my ptsd. CDing saved my marriage from that crisis.

    Look at it this way: If you are saved by a monkey from falling off a cliff, and then 12 years later you die from eating bad food; the monkey still saved your life.

  13. #13
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    Thank you and may you be happy

    Julie

  14. #14
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    An amazing story. Your wife's insight about dressing as a treatment for your ptsd is pure genius. And I'm so glad to hear that you and her have grown together to become like sisters. She is a gem among gems. So sorry to read the next part about it coming to an end.

  15. #15
    Member Valery L's Avatar
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    But at the end, crossdressing killed your marriage due to your mother in law's disapproval. At the long term, the marriage was not saved and it was (among other things) due to crossdressing.

  16. #16
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    Actually the MIL killed the marriage not the crossdressing.

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