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Thread: Wife is borrowing my underwear - Working DADT

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Julie1123's Avatar
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    Wife is borrowing my underwear - Working DADT

    We recently found out we're expecting our first kid and my wife has hit the stage in the pregnancy where her underwear is no longer fitting. She wears a medium and I wear a large. Instead of buying all new, she asked if she could borrow some of mine. I told her I had thought of that as an option too but didn't want to bring it up and told her she was welcome to help herself to whatever she wanted to wear. I think today was the first day that she did.
    "Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus we do refute entropy." ~Spider Robinson

  2. #2
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    Forget the darn underwear Ö. CONGRATS on the BRAND NEW PERSON you're expecting!
    Too much mascara is almost enough.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
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    Congrats on both accounts. Help me out. New to forum chat, what does DADT mean?

  4. #4
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    Hi Julie,

    Congrats on both fronts! You must be thrilled

    Hi Dannie,

    DADT = Don't Ask Don't Tell
    It's just the clothes... isn't it?

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Julie1123's Avatar
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    Thank you all! Weíre excited!

    Dannie, as Elizabeth said, it means donít ask donít tell. Basically, my wife knows about my crossdressing but doesnít want to see or think about me that way. So as long as I keep things out of sight and donít talk about it unless she does everything is good. I have a dresser and part of our shared closet to keep things in. Sheís pro-trans rights so I donít think itís an out and out dislike but something personal keeping her from accepting it fully. If I had to guess it would be concerns about persecution and embarrassment if we were open about it.

  6. #6
    Gold Member
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    Congrats. on your new Family Addition.
    Although never expecting, My wife would hit my drawer for Pantyhose all the time.
    She said it was like having a back up service in the house all the time.
    Rader

  7. #7
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    That means I have a dadt situation. Thank you for clarification both.

  8. #8
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    Congrats on the new addition! My wife shares my things and I share hers. She borrows my boy things and girl things. I think it's great you guys can share! That's what best friends do right?

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Julie1123's Avatar
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    That's excellent, Rader!

    Nikki, unfortunately I'm tall and skinny and my wife is short and a bit curvy so in general sharing isn't really an option. Hoping this opens her up a bit more though.
    "Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus we do refute entropy." ~Spider Robinson

  10. #10
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    DADT= Don't Ask Don't Take (my panties). Cotton panties are cheap, buy her her own. Would she lend you a pair? Just saying.
    Congratulations and all but she don't want to know anything about crossdressing but wants to raid your pant draw. I'd draw a line at borrowing panties until the DADT is renegotiated.
    Just my 2 cents.
    Again congratulations.

  11. #11
    KatelynMae's SO KayC's Avatar
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    I don't think either partner should take/use each other's things without permission. What's wrong with having some personal space and privacy? A person shouldn't have to lock up their clothes, it should be a matter of consideration and respect for each other.
    Enacting life's lessons into positive change...

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Contrary to what some others say Julie I think this is a good thing. And I don't believe it's something you could or should use as a bargaining chip. I'll bet that your wife appreciates the gesture and will repay you somehow in future.

  13. #13
    Member Kiwi Primrose's Avatar
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    Congratulations on both counts and I think DADT will eventually be a distant memory. You already have shared experience and the child will enhance that. All the best for your future.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Let me add my Congrats also and I think that she asked to borrow your panties is a small sign of acceptance so take it for what it is and be happy. I happily take all the small steps forward that I can.
    Crissy

  15. #15
    Junior Member Stilleto Gurl's Avatar
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    Haha. This is awesome! My wife has asked if I had any pantyhose she could wear to work because she was out! ☺️

  16. #16
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    Congratulations to both you and your wife. Make sure you do as much as you can for her as her pregnancy progresses. As for the other thing, I would recommend taking her shopping, I would not confuse necessity for acceptance. Shopping for her or with her will go more towards showing you care.
    Kelly DeWinter
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  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Talking is good for a relationship. Sometimes it is best to just "pay forward" and don't worry about getting a return. Just talking is good progress.

  18. #18
    Member BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Congratulations to the both of you. So exciting that you are expecting your first child. Keeping the lines of communication open is key to more support and acceptance.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Abbey11's Avatar
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    Congratulations to you both, the sharing was your suggestion and your wife is now accepting the offer
    OMG!! Owning my femininity .... and I LOVE it!

  20. #20
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    Congratulations on both counts to you both! Xx.

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